Browsing Archives for The Country Doctor

The country doctor and I found ourselves in the rare predicament of being without children on a Saturday night. My sister, April drove over from her new house and picked up a bunch of crap she had stored in our barn and while she was being very bossy about how to pack her stuff in the back of her van, the country doctor and I were shoving our kids under the seats in the front of her van. Boy was she surprised when they popped out when she got back home!

The two of us had a nice evening out and finally got to see the The Bourne Ultimatum, which I loved. The next afternoon – after putting it off as long as we possibly could, by planting some grass, and unpacking a thousand boxes of damp mildewy books into the new library, we headed to April’s new farmhouse to collect our children.

The country doctor asked me to drive. Normally – I try very hard to be disagreeable to everything the man says, but since I felt kind of sorry for him for planting all that grass, I took the wheel.

When I set out on a drive, I must have food and drink close at hand. The country doctor does not share this need. He does not want to stop until he arrives at his destination. Plus – the mere idea of making a PURCHASE of any type of NON ESSENTIAL ITEM causes the man to seize up and percoadjulate wildly. One of us is always being made miserable by the other’s traveling preferences. However, I was in a rare mood of compassion for the poor man, and decided that I could travel without my beverage and food needs being cared for.

We got about 10 miles down the road and I started to get really, really sleepy. We were listening to Trail Mix, a folk music show, and the sappy lyrics combined with the melodramatic guitar playing was putting me into a stupor.

I knew I was going to need some coffee – but I also knew that stopping to get a drink would put the country doctor into a state of hydraulic paralysis. So I went another ten miles, passing a few good stops, holding my eyes open really big as if I was in a state of supreme shock. Woozy…wooozy…wooz…ier… Finally I just thought – this is ridiculous! I need a cup of coffee – I am going to get a cup of coffee. I stopped at the next gas station and got a cup of coffee…and um…er…a strawberry poptart to go with it.

When I got back in the car – the country doctor had switched the radio to a K.C.Chiefs football game. He was also reading the Sunday paper.

He had, of course refused to get anything to drink or eat for himself. I looked at him and said, “It’s a bit much don’t you think?”

“What is?” he replied

“You – sitting there with the paper, listening to the Chiefs – AND depriving yourself of food and drink all at the same time – isn’t that a bit too much pleasure for you to stand?”

“I know,” he said “It’s awesome, but I feel terrible about it!”

“Which is basically Nirvana for you. To feel good… and bad about feeling good at the same time.”

“Yes, exactly” he replied.