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A Biker Wedding

June 21st, 2012

My Uncle Glen and Aunt Susan renewed their wedding vows this past weekend. They are bikers, so their wedding had a highly unique flair. I loved it. It was way more fun than any other wedding I have ever attended. Here are the pics…

My uncle announced the location of the ceremony by duct taping “Heitschmidt Wedding” on the side of a semi.

We saw it as we passed by on the highway.

It was very hard to miss.

My aunt is an avid thrift store shopper.  All the wedding decor came from her favorite thrift store haunts.

The bride got ready in a tent parked behind the bar where the ceremony was held.

It’s a bike tent and pops up out of a sidecar that they attach to one of their cycles when they travel.

Here’s the bride!

Pink hair for the wedding!

And here are the t-shirts that we all wore to the ceremony.

My sister’s family arrives.

My aunt had several friends helping her to get ready.

Dressing the bride…

Susan bought that dress for twelve dollars at a thrift store and then had it altered to fit her.

She added the pink petticoat.

It really was a beautiful dress.

The bridesmaids arrive.

Dressed in matching pink shirts.

Getting the hat to fit over the veil was a bit tricky.

But they eventually worked it out.

It was a hot windy day.

The bouquet.

Pink butterflies… of course.

She was perfection.

Over in a nearby corner, my Uncle was getting ready.

The bride requested that he take his hair down.

And he promptly accommodated his lovely lady.

How can you not love this man.

Ethan and Seth waited for things to get started…

Our family in our matching shirts…

The bride and groom approacheth!

They walked by a long line of cycles and each engine revved as they passed.

They met in a shelter in front of their own bikes.

And recited vows they had written themselves.

There was music and poetry and everyone sang along and we read several things in unison.

At one point we all sang “Someday lady you’ll accompany Me” together.

This man was overcome with emotion by that song.

It really was quite moving to stand in a field with a bunch of people at a weddin’ and sing that song together.

More songs, more vows, more promises…

And finally a kiss!

We moved the party into the bar and had cake and beer and bbq.

Here’s my mom and her brother Glen.

They are the last two surviving members of a family that used to number six.

The wedding party.

April, Susan and I.

April and Ellen astride a pink pig outside the bar.

All the people who showed up in pink shirts.

Please to note that the bikers are largely on one side and my family is largely on the other.

There is something of a striking difference between the two sides.

Also please note that I am on the biker side.


Oh dear!

One last kiss.

Mister Rogers Auto Tuned

June 7th, 2012

So love.
So, so, so, Love.

Bar Bingo

May 23rd, 2012

The worst part about working in a Garden Center in a college town is not the “expert customers” who are desperate to impart their planty wisdom upon your sun dried head, nor the occasions when we are required to fit a nine foot tree into the back of a Prius. The worst part about working at a Garden Center is not the lack of air conditioning on days over a hundred degrees, nor the non-stop attempt to keep the shelves clear of fly poop and spider webs. No. None of these things can be the worst part about working at a Garden Center in a college town, because the worst part is the college kids who work at the Garden Center for several years and then leave!

They graduate and then….


Or they get better jobs elsewhere and


Or they follow a significant other to a new town and they


They go off to other jobs in far away places like New Mexico and New Jersey and Kansas City!

And they leave us behind!

They don’t take us WITH THEM!

And we are left alone… and shivering… on a dirt road to nowhere…

To pick up the broken pieces without their smiling faces

And without their tinkling laughter

And their jaunty dance moves

And their Broadway show tunes!

And we miss them very much.

To say goodbye to all the kids that were leaving this year, we went out to dinner and then to something called “Bar Bingo”.

I am afraid that I have never before attended a “Bar Bingo” and was not exactly excited about going.

I am not really a “Bar Bingo” kind of girl.

I tried to get everyone interested in doing something other than “Bar Bingo”.

“How about we go to the Bluestem Bistro and sit on the veranda and order the hummus platter and drink cold white wine whilst listening to smooth jazz as we talk about our dreams?” I said.

But no one listened to me.

They all wanted to go to Bar Bingo.

And so to Bar Bingo we did go.

And lo…

I did learn much at Bar Bingo.

I learned that if the “caller” of the Bingo numbers rolls double numbers, he then will shout, “DRINK!”

And lo…

Everyone will else will also yell, “DRINK!”

But no one will actually drink anything.  They will just yell drink and wait for the next number to be called.

And if the next number is B7, the caller will say the words “honey badger” and then he will shout, “DRINK!” because somehow these things are all connected and it took me a while to figure out how exactly they were connected, which was further complicated by how frequently I was being instructed to “DRINK!”, but evidently the honey badger is an animal that “just don’t care” and there is also a college football player named Tyrann Matthieu who also “just don’t care” who sports the number “7″ on his LSU football jersey and both Tyrann and the honey badger exhibit this “just don’t care attitude” by doing crazy stuff like getting stung all over by bees while breaking into a hive for honey and going to battle with a cobra and getting bitten several times and then winning the cobra battle and of course eating the now dead cobra and then passing out from being poisoned from the cobra venom but then waking back up and eating the rest of the cobra.

So to be a honey badger is to be somewhat immune to severe discomfort in order to get what you want.

I am nothing like a honey badger.

Except that I was enduring Bar Bingo in order to say a proper goodbye to the youngsters who were taking their leave of the Garden Center.

Here’s Cassie C.

She actually left last winter, but she came back to say goodbye to Brady.

That’s Brady standing beside her.

The top photo is Brady and Justin on either side of Melissa.

Brady and Justin are leaving, but Melissa can’t ever leave.

Melissa is stuck at the Garden Center forever.

Which probably makes Melissa the most honey badgerest of us all.

But we are all going to miss Brady, Cassie C and Justin.

There will simply be less sunshine at the Garden Center without them around.