Browsing Archives for Life

The Freaky Flower Show

June 22nd, 2010

I found a freaky flower in my neighbor’s yard.

This story and a depressing story about blue hydrangeas is up at farmhouse and garden.

I found a great site that scientifically debunks the Noah story and I have been reading through it with my kids.  Can I just tell you how excited they are to be reading a web site about Noah’s flood with their mom?!?  Yeah… they’re not.  They even used the excuse that they had to get their chores done to try and weasel away, but after we got into it, they got interested.  I can’t say that they are exactly embracing the idea that the Noah story is a myth, but they aren’t afraid to question the idea.  Ultimately, they will make up their minds for themselves, but not without getting good information that clearly demonstrates the idea that Noah’s flood is not a literal event.  It is amazing to me how firmly the story is already entrenched in their minds.  It’s weird because I didn’t teach them this story and I was always under the impression that our former church was somewhat liberal, yet my kids seem to think that Noah actually existed and that a flood really happened although the idea that it was a ‘local flood’ somehow creeped into their heads.  So I guess someone gave them that version at some point.

The Noah Show

June 20th, 2010

It is 1:23 am here in Branson USA.  I am sitting on the floor of the bathroom of our rented condo to write this without bothering anyone.  We are here with extended family who are all devout Christians.  One member in our party purchased tickets for the “Noah’s Ark” show for our entire group.  This show is a literal take on the biblical account of a world wide flood.  Almost everyone in our party believes that this story literally took place.  They believe that Noah actually existed, that he actually built an ark and that two of each animal on the face of the earth took up residence with Noah and his family inside a huge boat, until it came to a rest somewhere on Mount Ararat and the waters subsided enough for them to disembark. The “Noah show” was carefully constructed to point the way to Jesus as God’s only begotten son.  At the end of the show, the ark slowly dismantled itself and became a massive cross and then a man in a white tunic, purple cape, and gold sparkly belt walked through the ‘door’ and invited us all to follow him or to burn forever in the eternal lake of fire.  We were told that we only had a short time to make up our minds before the ‘door’ would be forever closed.  Christ’s return was imminent.  Repent or perish! The staff of the theater lined up in front of the stage to talk to us, pray with us and help us to enter into a soul saving relationship with Jesus ‘The Christ”.

After the show, we loaded up and went to Steak and Shake for desert.  Because what better way to celebrate the fact that you are one of God’s elect than an order of fries and a chocolate malt?  Of course everyone in this party also knows that I completely and totally reject all of the ideas set forth in this play, but we all tried to peacefully enjoy our desert without saying anything.  But I just couldn’t ignore it.  I couldn’t ignore the idea that I had just been told that if I don’t accept Christ, I am going to burn in a lake of fire forever.  So I brought the conversation around to the idea of the bible possibly being a massive hoax, and well.. it didn’t go very well.  Among the many things that I was told tonight as I probed the faith of my family were…

Most scientists believe in God.

Evolution has never been proven.

There is some wasp that disproves evolution entirely.

There is no legitimate evidence that contradicts a literal seven day creation.

My atheism is a punishment from God to my family for their sins.  (Emotional blackmail anyone?)

There was a world wide flood.

Since I don’t believe in God, I have no morals and there is nothing stopping me from walking across the street and killing my neighbors.

The bible doesn’t say that the world is flat and all those people who were burned as heretics or imprisoned for life for defying the bible and saying the world was round, were killed by Christians who were just sadly misinformed.

The bible doesn’t approve of slavery (as it actually means servants and not slaves and these are two very different things!).

If I want to talk about these things I should do it ‘one on one’ and not right NOW at Steak and Shake right after we JUST SAW THE NOAH SHOW!

So it is now 2:15 am and I am bathing my mind in reason.  Reading Thomas Jefferson quotes.  Reading scientific arguments against creationism and a world wide flood.  Reading statistics that say that the world’s leading scientists almost uniformly reject the idea of a God and especially the idea that there is a personal God that gives a half a shit about people.

In six hours I have to get on a boat…. a large boat… kind of like an ark.  I will be stuck on that boat for twelve hours with people who view me as a hateful heretic because I reject the notion of a world wide flood, the notion of an ark, the notion of a Noah, a covenant sealed with a rainbow, a savior who died for my sins, that anyone should have to die for my sins, a virgin birth, a inerrant bible, and especially the existence of a God. But I think that I do believe in hell. Because tomorrow… while I am trapped on that boat with a bunch of people who consider me to be among the unsaved, ignorant masses who don’t understand the beauty of their glorious faith – it will be very like hell. So I might as well accept it as a very likely possibility.

PS – I only wish that the ‘Noah Show’ had extended beyond the final ‘rainbow’ scene to the part of the story where a naked, hung-over Noah curses his grandson Caanan for his father’s (Ham’s) criminal act of viewing him nude.  Now THAT would have been a biblical scene worth seeing!

The birdfeeder sprouted.

The Country Doctor has been building a dock to fish from, but after the deluge…

He had to fish for the dock.

In other news…

We are in Branson, Missou(rah) for the weekend.

Last night we went to see Shepherd of the Hills.

And I got my square dancing fix.

It was SO FUN!

There should be more square dancing.

I think I will add it to my version of the ten commandments.

“Thou Shalt Square Dance!”