Browsing Archives for April 2012

The Singing Slugger

April 20th, 2012

My son Ethan is batting over 700 at this point in his baseball season. (772 to be exact).  When Ethan told me this, I didn’t really know what it meant. I figured it must be good, but I didn’t really get exactly how it was good until Ethan explained it to me.

Very slowly.

As if he were speaking to a small, inebriated child.

They’ve played eleven games so far.

He also got a very small part in the musical that he auditioned for in our small town.

He has baseball practice and musical rehearsal five days a week.

His days are long and full.

A few days ago his baseball practice didn’t begin until 4:30, so Ethan brought a few friends over to the house to hang out until practice started. While the boys played video games in the basement, I whipped them up a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies because whenever I see a pack of young men, I have an uncontrollable urge to stuff them full of food. I am sure this is some kind of primordial instinct.  Human survival has probably hinged on the female need to feed the young for millenia.

So I made them cookies and then I called them up to the kitchen to eat the cookies.  Ethan got out some milk.  There wasn’t very much milk left, so he carefully divided it among three glasses for his friends.  Then it was time to take them all to baseball practice.

We loaded up in the car.

Ethan sat in the front seat beside me while the two other boys sat in the back.  He fussed around with the radio and the CD player until he came across the sound track for the musical he is currently rehearsing. (The director gave him a copy of the songs to help him learn them). Ethan started to play the CD of his musical and to loudly sing along complete with fully engaged facial and hand movements. He turned to face his friends in the back seat as he sang. He sang to them the hit song of Guys and Dolls “Sit Down You’re Rocking The Boat”

His friends laughed at him.

His mother laughed at him.

But Ethan just kept on singing.

He’s a bit of a one-off, our Ethan.

For my grandmother Lela’s ninetieth birthday, all four of her kids including my dad, took her to Los Angeles to see The Price is Right.

Together with all the other people who had tickets to see the show the same day, they stood in line for six hours.  Everyone chatted and got to know each other during those six hours so that by the end of the ordeal, everyone in line to see the taping of the show that day knew it was my grandmother’s ninetieth birthday.

So when she got called up….

Say it with me everyone!

LELA BISHOP!  COME ON DOWN!  YOU’RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!!

Everyone in the audience was very happy for my grandmother.

She got multiple high fives from audience members all around her.

Everyone in her family was very excited too.

There was much cheering and clapping and this went on for quite some time because it takes a while for a ninety year old to get down to contestant’s row.

Here’s my ninety year old grandmother on contestant’s row.

Did I seriously just type that?


Grandma had to make a bid on the price of a year long subscription to Sirius Radio.

Here are all the bids.

Guess who was the closest!

That’s right!!!!

MY GRANDMA!!!!!

Once again, my grandma had to take a journey.

She had to get from contestant’s row up onto that stage!

It took her a while….

They broke for a commercial…

But my grandma made it!

And she fell into Drew Carey’s arms!

The entire audience… and I am not even kidding you… was shouting my grandmother’s name.

LELA!  LELA!  LELA!  LELA!

She turned around and waved them along.

And then they announced the prize that my grandmother would be playing for…

A BRAND NEW TRUCK!!!!

Just what every ninety year old woman wishes for!

A row of prices was set up and Lela had to decide as each price was uncovered if it was the closest to the cost of the truck without going over.

My grandma looked out to her family for support.

They told her to keep going.

Keep going!

Keep going!

My grandmother kept going.

She kept going!

She kept GOING!

But she didn’t go far enough!

Grandma did not win that truck.

But that is okay.

Because my grandma was still going to get a chance to spin the wheel and be a contestant on the SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN!

Never in my life did I think that I would be writing the words “my grandma” and “SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN” in the same sentence.

And just as a personal aside, I think SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN is one of the finer phrases in the English language and should be used far more than it currently is.

And here’s my grandma getting ready to spin that wheel!

Well… she spun that wheel with a little help from Drew Carey!

She got 55 cents on her first spin.

The goal is to get as close to a dollar as you can without going over and to also beat out the other two players who are also spinning the wheel.

Am I seriously explaining The Price is Right?

My Grandma opted to spin again.

She got 50 cents the second time around.  She went over by five cents.  She did not get a chance at the Showcase Showdown!

DANG IT!

I even think Drew Carey was disappointed!

Oh well!

At least she got to be a contestant!

At ninety years old!

How awesome is that?

You can only pick one

April 13th, 2012