Lesbian Alert!

May 20th, 2011

About a year and half ago I became an atheist.

And then six months ago, I became a vegetarian.

So I suppose it should not surprise you that tonight I have finally decided to come out of the closet and announce to the world that I am actually a lesbian.

I know.

It’s almost too much to process.

But it is true.

I love women.

I always have.

And I am tired of living a lie.

JUST KIDDING!

No- but really.  A few days ago, my sister posted a blog about the pain and suffering she has endured ever since her sister (which unfortunately is me) became an atheist.  Trust me!  I feel her pain!  I feel it even MORE intensely than SHE FEELS IT!  I feel it so hard, it is almost like I AM THE ATHEIST!

WAIT!

OH HOLY SHIT!

I’ve been trying to decide how to respond to my sister’s post.

At first I thought I would ignore it.

But as you may have noticed, I am not very good at ignoring things.

So then I discussed it on a few forums and that relieved a bit of the pressure.

And I will tell you, that the longer I waited to act on this little bit of internet weirdness, the funnier the whole thing became for me.  I mean seriously!  It is kind of crazily hilarious.

1.  I become an atheist.

2.  My entire family of origin spirals into chaos.

3.  Slowly I come to terms with many members of my family and we settle into a new somewhat strange relationship, but it seems to be working okay.

4.  Except for my sister.

5.  Who I really don’t talk to much at all for eighteen months.

6.  So when she finally decides to discuss the situation.

7.  She does so.

8.  On her blog.

I guess that’s how it goes when your family has a penchant for cyberspace.  Just skip the face to face and go straight to Facebook.  Hey! Whatever works!  And I really don’t blame her.  I mean when I first became an atheist I was literally an unholy terror.  I have vague shaky memories of writing about a certain statewide basketball tournament of Christian schools wherein not a single child of color participated and wondering (unfortunately on my blog) whether or not these schools were more of a ‘fleeing from’ rather than a ‘running to’ if you know what I mean.  I kind of regret that post.  Even though it is well documented that Sunday morning is the most segregated hour of the week in America – I don’t think my sister’s family is racist.

So I guess if I could take that one back, I would.  On the other hand, it is true that the colors don’t mix at church very good.  And I think this is something that churchy Americans should be thinking on.

HOWEVER!  That is not my news!

My news is that the comments on my sister’s blog post about me are going like gangbusters!  And OH HOLY HELL – they are none too pleased with my behavior this past year!  (So Utterly Shocking!)  So tonite, I have been answering the comments on my sister’s blog.  Just combing through them and picking out my favorites and leaving my thoughts behind.  I am keeping it light and frothy and full o’ fun.  Don’t mean no disrespect.  If I have learned one thing this year – it is that humor is the true balm of Gilead.  I don’t even know what the actual ‘balm of Gilead’ is -but I bet it has something to do with a bruised and bloody Jesus writhing on a cross to atone for that one time I stole a piece of candy when I was nine.  But my balm of Gilead is a belly laugh.  And I have been giving myself some tonite.  If you want to follow along – here is the post.  I don’t know how much longer it will be up.  My sister is terrified of atheists and if a bunch of them descend on her blog and start chewing through the comments, she is going to go into hyper freak out mode.  But since it is the wee hours, my comments might stay up at least until morning. So that’s what I am doing tonite.  What are you doing?  Only answer this question if it is illegal.

Lesbians rule,

Rechelle

Comments

  • DB:

    I stumbled on your blog looking for “better 10 commandments” and I then popped up here to see what all the comments were about regarding you and your sister. How sad!

    How sad that she should feel embarrassed by you, or that she should need to “explain” you!

    I’m a former Kansan and my son went to Silo Tech while I spent time on Snob Hill (Did you know that KSU plays football in the world’s biggest trench silo?) so I know that being an “out” atheist is not a pleasant experience sometimes. All I can say is that it’s a lot easier in the end to be free in your mind than to keep trying to rationalize Christianity.

    Cheers on becoming a lesbian, too! I was going to be gay when I was younger (I wasn’t masculine enough for the he-men around me) but then I realized I liked women too much.

    • Rechelle:

      No – did not know that KSU plays football in a trench silo. I am not even sure what a trench silo is, but it sounds like something that football should not be played atop of.

    • Rechelle:

      Oh – also – Chris Hitchens has an alternative 10 commandments that are quite nice. Also – I liked one of the comments on my 10 commandment post- I think it was Kelley’s which I thought were really good.

      • I forgot what my commandments were so I had to go find them. Luckily in the past year or so, I haven’t strayed from them, so I guess it’s all good. I still like Hitchens’ and yours, too.

        I’m sorry that your sister is having such a difficult time with your deprogramming. It’s stories like this that make me think that the love, tolerance and acceptance that a lot of christians preach only applies if you believe the same as they do.

        Even though you no longer believe in god, you are still you. You are still the same sister, daughter, wife you always were, just more enlightened. If anything, I would think your family would love you more, not less. Did they love you any less when you stopped believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy? Did you become any less valuable as a human being when you decided to become a vegetarian? No, you didn’t.
        I haven’t read your sister’s blog post yet, but I hope that deep down, she misses you and really just wants to accept you as you are. Because you are still Rechelle. Just a better Rechelle!

  • nola rice:

    Rechelle, Yes I went to CCF today as I have sniffed the brouhaha coming. And yes I followed you here from your link. Girlfriend I knew you were an atheist. Did not know the vegetarian-which to me is suspect. They don’t call them lesbians anymore, it is just gay.

    You never told me you were an alcoholic, Bi-polar, depressed person as I read in the blog. I am kinda thinking those were nasty little snipes.

    You have the funniest and sharpest blogs around. The broadway stage of the plastic dolls is not to be believed.

    Your blog told me about Toms shoes, well done and when I was home in the US I bought a pair, my DIL bought a pair and I have posted pictureson my blog.

    I am a Christian, does not matter here, my mom became a messianic jew-although I told her many times you can’t do that if you were never a jew, and my one brothers family is now totally split apart over how Christian is Christian. My other brother just stays away. So now we have no family over Christian values or lack of them.

    I don’t think it is religion that separates us, it is the need to feel the smartest, the best, the most of mostest. And by the way, the reason that black people don’t go to church with white people is because they can’t sing and don’t know how to wear hats. Everything is really very simple.

    • Rechelle:

      You are awesome Nola and I love this comment. And you are probably right – everything is really very simple. I need to scratch that into the back of my hand so’s I will remember.

      Now I have to try and figure out what the CCF is.

      • MJ:

        I would say it means Coal Creek Farm?

        I would also like to say that this post is awesome!

        MJ

      • I would think CCF is Coal Creek Farm.

  • GN:

    I haven’t bothered responding to the comments on your sister’s blog but in the post she keeps saying she’s a Christian. She’s wrong. She’s a human who has Christian beliefs. Just as a lot on this planet are humans who have Muslim beliefs. And just as a lot of the people I know are humans who have absolutely no belief in a big magic man in the sky.

    Humans find the commonality between us; religions find the differences.

    • Rechelle:

      That is so true and so profound. Now do you have an answer for this one…

      It’s 3:30 in the morning in my part of the world. Why am I still awake?

      • GN:

        Because the sparkling and incisive comments of your legion of readers make your mind fizz with such ideas that your brain is unable to rest until it has processed such philosophical magnitude.

        Either that or you had far too many cups of coffee this afternoon.

        • Rechelle:

          Whoa! That’s two in a row GN! I have decided that the GN stands for Genie! Like a magical Genie! Thanks for being here for me! I am going to try and catch some shut-eye now.

    • Albug:

      Oh my goodness! I love this. I so agree. I always tell people who worry about my “soul” (Catholic up- bringing) — you worry about your soul I’ll worry about mine. Now I will quote you GN. Thank you.

    • Jen:

      Not so sure that “commonality” should be the number one thing we’re looking for. It’s nice but truth usually separates, like it or not.

  • Bridget:

    Jesus Christ, Rechelle. You think that with all the praying for you that has been going on that you would have mend your errant ways and like the prodigal son would have run back into the arms of your Father. No not that one silly. Your actual father and your sister could butcher her finest suckling pig for the joyous reunion, but wait you don’t eat meat anymore do you. Damn it, Rechelle. You ruin everything. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore, not that ever did. You are dead to me.

    Well not so much to me per se, but you are to your sister. At least until you surrender yourself to your Father’s embrace and yes now I am speaking of God. Our heavenly father, who art thou, and who sent his only begotten son so that you may know salvation. Once you become a believer again. You won’t be dead to her because now you both will get to spend eternity together. Frolicking in a magical world of wonder and by that I mean Disney World.

    Until then you can just hang out with all the other mental degenerates who don’t believe in God or who have engage in same sex practices or who worship Allah, Mohammad, Buddha, or Ginesha or who are Jewish or those that smoke pot on Saturday and trip out on LSD. Those people are all alike, no they aren’t free thinkers, it’s because you see they have M-E-N-T-A-L problems. Just like you and because they have mental problems we can feel sorry for them, belittle them, shove them aside, put them in camps, in prisons, or just fucking kill them because they had it coming after all since they don’t believe in JESUS! How will they ever establish a huge blog fan base not believing in JESUS?

    Until the POWER of CHRIST compells you to return back to the flock and by that I mean one the PW faithful. I will be praying for you. Praying hard my friend and maybe crying in my kitchen and it is only through God’s strengthen and love that I will be able to carry on that or through drugs, alcohol, and hookers. Male hookers. Don’t you get any funny ideas. I am not that kind of girl.

    will be praying for you.

    • Bridget:

      (I would like to thank the lady Rechelle for posting the inspiration Drunk Brunch Video)……it inspired me to do something with the 8 quarts of strawberries I had bought on Saturday, so it was a long night of drunk strawberry saving.

      Yes. Yes, I was. You must know greatest when you see it, but I was the lifeguard at the Annual Coming of Ripeness pool party hosted by strawberry farmer, Oprah, in honor of all of her mature, ripe, and luscious strawberries. Her pool has a 12 ft. deep end and every year I wonder why the pool party? Why not a little bouncy castle, rub downs with organic pesticides, & shots chlorophyl?

      Most people don’t know about a little known fact regarding strawberries. Yeah no shit, if more people knew this fact then it wouldn’t be little known, but big known. Or widely known, as some of you more erudite people might say. But strawberries are skilled swimmers. You may have already stopped reading. If not you may be asking yourself; why care about a pool at the party? Because they are only good swimmers for 1/100th of second at a time. AND that is not a long time.

      An even lesser known fact is that strawberries that become submerged in water deeper than 6ft will explode. The explosion is caused from a change that takes place in the cells forming the core of the strawberry. As the strawberry sinks deeper and deeper, the force or pressure of the water on the strawberry violently increases, which causes the fructose stored in the cells of the strawberry to violently become sucrose.

      The transformation of fructose to sucrose requires that some chemical bonds are broken and some new ones are formed. Hydrogen and Chloride atoms are released when the bonds are broken and these atoms join together in marriage to produce acid, specifically lemon juice.

      Anytime that chemical bonds are broken violently energy will be released. Not all of this energy is used in the formation of the new bonds needed to form surcrose, and there is a violent amount of folibles and energy leftover. This excess energy causes the strawberries to explode. The sugar mixes with the little strawberry pieces, now perfectly pureed, and the lemon juice lightly splashes all over the sugar/strawberry compound; resulting in a perfect coulis.

      See all you public schooling parents. Any time, any place, any activitiy can be turned into a learning experience when you homescool your kids. Even saving strawberries at Oprah’s pool party. Don’t let your limited eighth grade understanding of chemistry stop you from turning strawberry saving into a learning opportunity for you and your blog readers. Your kids will just enjoy getting to learn from you, rather than from an “over” educated, well trained, elitist, liberal snob who believes in evolution, global warming, and supports locking up all us gun toting, Jesus lovers in the Tower of England. Filling your children’s heads, America’s future, with shoddy science, incorrect historical facts, fear of anyone different as well as making sure that they only possess a remedial understanding of basic math and reading skills. This is not only a right, not only a constitutional FREEDOM, but it is your duty as Jesus lover to poorly educate your children and leave them woefully unprepared for their futures.

      Anyway. I tangent and then I ramble and just when you think I have righted the ship. I a do a fake ramble into a tangent. Righting the ship now.

      Anyway. I was doing some serious strawberry saving tonight because I was more interested in making a semifreddo and a danish/strudel hybrid concoction with my strawberries as well as saving some by freezing them. Then I was in making a coulis. So I am drunk, covered in all sorts of whipped things, sticky things, sweet things (some of which may be red), and am now waiting for stuff to stop cooking; so I came back to read my comment I left.

      I now realize that I am self obsessed, self centered, and a star of a show that only has one viewer (myself) and that none of the above story matters to anyone, but me. In any other condition, I wouldn’t be going back over my comments or writing a lengthy story, so please forgive my indulgence. Just block me right now. Seriously. I have to say once again sorry for the doozie of a comment. (here I go trying to be more important than I am, I gotta stop reading that PW crap) But I see that the worse of it got edited out.

      Sometimes relaying understanding and empathy is more important than trying to get the person to laugh. Rechelle, I wished we lived closer so we could chat about sisters and families in person. My mother should have spent time in the psych ward & should never be without a therapist, instead she had kids and my sisters and I’s relationship has born the brunt of our mother’s craziness. I wish that we still talked and hope that things will change. There is a sense of loss when a relationship changes or comes to a close, but I am just learning not to give up on anyone especially myself.

      I am just afraid that if I lived anywhere near you that I would love hanging out with you, and you would be the proud owner of a restraining order with my name on it. Thank you for all that you share with us, for letting us weirdos hang out on this site, and for letting us just share whatever is ranting around in our minds at the moment. Alright I see some strawberries that are way too close to the deep end with nary a raft in sight. Gotta go.

      • Bridget:

        God I really hate myself.

  • Hello Rechelle,

    First, let me say I am on your side. Second, I am on your side.

    I myself am not an atheist, but I would not consider myself “churchy” either. I personally believe that there is Something bigger than me, and you can call it whatever you want.

    However, I am not a fan of organized religion for many reasons, the main one being that the most vocal church-goers seem to be the most hypocritical (“Let’s love and accept everyone, well, unless we want to talk about them behind their backs”).

    I practice the MOV religion, which is: I believe whatever the hell I want to and I don’t really care what you believe unless you punch me in the head. It is a great religion, and it works well for me 99% of the time.

    I just want to say that I am sad your sister is so kooky and bitter. I think you should believe what you want, and she should practice what she preaches (t-o-l-e-r-a-n-c-e).

    Think of it this way: if you were a health nut, would you publicly condemn your sister for eating chocolate cake and then stop speaking to her for 18 months?!?! Crazy.

    Her loss. I think you rock. (and I am in love with your Pie Near Woman– hilarious!!!!)

    best,
    MOV

  • Jennine:

    Yesterday my eldest son drove me to an appointment which gave us a good 45 minutes to talk about life, love and other mysteries.

    He told me that he tried marijuana during his first year of college. He told me that he hasn’t found a girl he’d want to bring home to meet his family. And then he said, “I HATE Atheists! They think they know everything and they are complete assholes.”

    I’ve not had the “your mom is an Atheist” talk with him yet because I know this will bring holy hell into my life. I wasn’t much of a Evangelical Christian. I have no intention of becoming an Evangelical Atheist.

    Still, his comment hurt me (mostly because I’ve somehow managed to raised a hateful Christian, pot smoking son ~smile~) and made me realize that I have to choose my words carefully lest I come off as a know-it-all, godless asshole to him.

    Christians are a tough, judgmental crowd. So are Atheists.

    But to me, family is more important than Jesus, Darwin, Gandhi or Oprah.

    Rechelle, you and April seem to share a love of belly laughs. You are both witty, loving women raising beautiful families.

    I hope that despite the pain family matters being openly aired on the Internet (ouch), you two can find a way to have a good laugh together.

    Sisters before Misters (including Jesus),

    Jennine

    • Rechelle:

      Perhaps the pot smoking will counter balance the Christian zealotry.

      I feel your pain Jennine and can I just say that at this juncture in my life I would highly recommend keeping your atheism a secret all the way to your grave.

    • Jay:

      <>

      I’ve heard that, or its equivalent quite a few times. Which is ironic because its atheists who are the first to say that they DON’T know everything, and there are things we CAN’T know (at least not yet). That’s why we dont feel the need to make up fairy tales to explain it all.

      In my experience its the religious who believe they know everything. Anything unexplainable is attributed to god and they know god, so therefore, they know everything. Or at least, everything worth knowing. Which can make them sound like assholes. :)

      I cant imagine hearing that out of your own son’s mouth though. My heart goes out to you.

    • Jay:

      Sorry, I messed up quoting the line I was referring to:

      My post was about: “I HATE Atheists! They think they know everything and they are complete assholes.”

  • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

    Oh, I was so excited there for a moment on the lesbian thing!

    Months ago I told my good Dear Charles-type friend that you were an atheist, AND a vegetarian, AND had some liberal views – in rural Kansas! He was very impressed, but said, “Isn’t she forgeting something, like lesbian or nudist?” This from the Jew who works in an Oral Roberts building in Oklahoma.

    Read the CCF post yesterday. Hmm. Heading over now before your comments get pulled.

    • Rechelle:

      You are probably going to regret that decision Nikki. Sorry in advance.

      • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

        OK, I’m back. Some interesting comments, but the majority…I think I need a Silkwood shower now. There’s only so much Christian love and wisdom I can stand at one time.

        P.S. Glad you’re not really dead. And if you do consider it, try to go bisexual instead of lesbian, because it seems like you have a pretty good husband there. (And as you know, becoming a lesbian or bisexual or whatever, is a choice. So, you know, the choice is yours, any time you feel like it.)

        • carole:

          I spit coffee on the screen this morning Rechelle. Lesbian?! lol. I refrained from using the word to define myself on my post to April, although I think it is easier to define than than the word “christian”. Thanks btw for trying to clear up that definition for me. What a broad spectrum that word covers. scary thought. I hope you finally got some shut eye.
          I like your humor DirtyKSmama ..”a choice” cracked me up!
          Kudos ladies…i’m off to convert a few more to my side.

  • Praying Mantis:

    I just read the best comment yet. The fucking idiot moron who suggested that your rejection of the Pioneer Woman is what spawned your rejection of God. I read the comment a couple of times to make sure that she wasn’t saying that your rejection of the God lead to a rejection of PW because at first that is what I thought, but the way I read it is that your rejection of the She Goddess opened the door for your rejection of God. I just see it as your rejection of delusional bullshit believing in PW is akin to believing in God or Satan or Santa. Or in Tom Cruise. Only godless heathens hate PW. I’ll be praying for you. Like a mantis.

  • I know I want to comment but I really don’t know what to say. I love your writing Rechelle. It really makes me laugh, cry, and most importantly, think. And there have been a few moments when I thought, “Did she really just say that?!” But that’s good, makes me leave my comfort zone and look at things from a new perspective.
    I read you and can’t even imagine the pain you must feel about the loss of some very important relationships in your life. I’m very sorry people have let you down. Like I said I didn’t know what to say, I’m just rambling. I hope for you, and your family, that somehow things can get past the initial, often most painful, hurt. Not saying everyone has to agree, just agree to disagree and move on to the next phase. I think you have changed Rechelle, but it has nothing to do with being an atheist. I, for one, am glad you are finding your voice.

  • Praying Mantis:

    Also what makes me angry is that your sister make is sounds as if you have died. You have simply shed one of the masks that keeps you from truly understanding yourself. One of the lies that people have told you. You are still her sister. Alive and well. She hasn’t lost anyone. I mean seriously? I understand feeling that sense of loss when a connection to another person fails, but the person is still alive there is a chance for change. Or acceptance.

  • Well, I’ll offer my support too, even though you have plenty here already and even though I’m more or less a complete stranger. And instead of wondering what drives people to decide that being right is more important than being good, I’ll tell you what I was doing in the wee hours of the morning:

    Laundry.

    Don’t tell anybody, ‘kay? Down here in Texas, I’m pretty sure that doing my own laundry makes me a de facto Gay Man. Either that or my wife isn’t living up to that Ideal of Christian Womanhood that certain strains of Christianity keep telling me about. Either way… Big Family Secret, right?

    • Rechelle:

      I like picturing a man doing laundry in the middle of the night. As long as he is doing it quietly. The CD has a tendency towards unnecessarily loud banging noises during late night chores. I think he gets lonely and want to wake me up so I will scream at him and then he won’t feel so alone anymore.

      • Very likely. I’ve heard that straight men sometimes behave that way.

      • GA in GA:

        lol Yep, loud banging noises in the middle of the night occur here as well. If HE suffers, we all must suffer. I think it is a course in med school.

  • Rose:

    You do know that tomorrow is the Rapture and now you will not be going anywhere. Your timing sucks.

    • Rechelle:

      Dammit!

      • Nanc in Ashland:

        On the plus side, when all those folks disappear the internet will be SUPER fast for us heathens!

  • I have to say that, having skimmed over the first page of comments on your sister’s blog, she’s actually handling your comments (and other new arrivals) fairly well. Maybe it degenerates later on; I didn’t look.

    The only thing that struck me as strange was her continued insistence that she “misses” you – which is odd on the face of it, since you’re right there commenting on her blog. I assume, therefore, that she misses The You That Used To Be. That’s… understandable, I guess, but there’s also a failure of understanding there – or maybe a bit of denial, or maybe both. I mean, The You That Used To Be clearly wasn’t tenable for you. People don’t make massive, comprehensively uncomfortable life changes on a whim; that only happens when what you were doing before just wasn’t working for you.

  • Sheila:

    Hey, at least you’re talking, even if it is through the blog o sphere. Frankly I blame the water in Goodieville,

  • susan:

    wow..went and read the comments on April’s blog. most were self-serving diatribes spewing their prayers and love. i thought I would puke if one more person said they would ‘pray for Rechelle’. Rechelle, your comments were hysterically spot on. loved the skewering responses you gave to all those platitudes of crap they were vomiting.

  • Rechelle, I went over to your sister’s site and saw all of the comments. Can you feel the energy, the Holy Spirit perhaps, that is wrapping you up it its healing arms of, of,… Oh, I suck at that. There are a lot of people praying for you over there. I don’t get it, coming from a non-religious family.

    Isn’t it quirky how prayers for someone can feel like arrogant, judgmental, sanctimonious condemnation?

    Family fall outs suck. Maybe some tolerance will come eventually.

  • Just an errant thought: I’ve often heard people say “I’m praying for you”, “I’ll be praying for you”, “You’re in my prayers” ad infinitem. And if they’re praying for me they’re praying for you and you and you and again with the ad infinitem…

    They must be awake at all hours too saying their prayers – ‘Bless Pam and Rechelle and Joe and Paul and Ralph and…… Jesus Oh Jesus I forgot Jesus…..

    my mind, she is off…

  • Jay:

    As strange a situation as it is, this could be an opportunity for (at least a little bit of) meaningful dialogue between you. Don’t miss the chance, however improbable!

    Your comments tickled me pink with chuckles, and I agree with Laura that from this side of the coin, people saying they will pray for you can really feel insulting.

    Stay strong, know that ‘your adoring fans’ love you, and good luck!!! :D

  • Melinda:

    Call her.

  • Spinny:

    What made me sad about your sister’s post was this:

    It’s incredibly painful to watch someone you love so dearly make decisions that you will never agree with.

    My soul hurts.

    The knitting has been unraveled.

    It’s not like you became a drug addict or murderer. You just stopped believing in a god.

    She seems to be choosing to make your disbelief a personal attack on her.

  • Sue from UK:

    I found your blog through April’s a few year’s ago and have enjoyed both of them. However, a comment made by Clay in one of his question and answer sessions a while ago really made me think twice about them. He was asked something like – what sort of man would you like to see your daughter marry. His deal breaker was that he had to be a Christian, poor girl, I hope you’re there for her if she decides she wants to marry a non-Christian because it seems as if they would mete ot the same treatment to her.

    It seems almost mediaeval to me, although being British I know all about the problems that religion brings, it really should be banned.

    I hope that April realises that the only “Christian” thing to do is to embrace you whatever your beliefs of lack of (bitch).

    • susan:

      funny Thersa…….you obviously are a follower or Rechelle.

      • susan:

        Sue from across the pond: that was meant for you. spot on Sue.

    • Sandra:

      I’m all for differing opinions and beliefs…

      Talk of banning, of censorship, makes me cringe…

      • Mackenzie:

        I don’t speak for Sue or anyone else, but for the most part atheists don’t actually want religion to be banned (and even if they had a secret wish for it, everyone knows banning things doesn’t actually keep people from them…. banning would probably make religion stronger).

        I have been quoted as saying that organized religion should be illegal, but I’ve also said things along the lines of, “Shoes that ugly should be banned!” so… I hope people don’t take me literally either time. I guess on the internet it’s harder to tell how a person means something.

    • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

      Sue from UK – that answer of Clay’s has bothered me for months, too.

  • theresa:

    Your comments on April’s blog were light and fun, but honestly…that had to be hard to read; All of those comments telling April how sorry and sad they are for her. As if she has to carry the burden of your soul. It made me want to shake my fist a little bit. My 16 year old son’s class was confirmed Wednesday night and he chose to not participate. Yesterday, I had lots of people in the school parking lot cluck and tell me to be strong. Patted my back and gave me “the look”. (kind of a I-wonder-what-you-did-wrong look) I assured them that we still love him and decided to not have him executed for choosing to not be confirmed in our church. Right now I am concerned with turning a good, caring, honest young man out into the world and not so much about whether or not he will go to mass each week. I don’t mean to turn this comment into a story of MY life and I’m not very eloquent…I just wanted to reach out to you because I know that had to be hard. In all honesty, when you and your sister were on good terms, how often did faith even come up? My sister and I rarely talk about religion. She would never insult me about my faith and I have never tried to coerce her into attending church. Now I’m rambling….

  • Jaime:

    Rechelle…they have a name for people who make every issue about THEM… narcissism. April the Narcissist..there’s just no other explaination.

    • jalf:

      Oh, I’d have thought the name was “human”. At least I can’t think of anyone who hasn’t, at some time or another, done precisely this. No reason to brand someone a narcissist just because they 1) have a few spots of ignorance about certain other people, and 2) react to it in a very human, if imperfect, way.

  • NC Gal:

    Isn’t it just like a small and fearful mind to make someone else’s situation all about themselves?

  • OK, so I went over and read your sister’s blog. Geez. Apparently denouncing Christianity is akin to having a terminal illness and all Christians can do is mourn your passing or condemn you to hell. Which is silly because if you don’t believe in god, you don’t believe in hell.

    The vibe I picked up from the whole thing is your sister misses you and wants to reconnect with you, but maybe her Christian fortified brain can’t comprehend how to communicate with you. Many of the posters there talked about how angry you were when you first announced your atheism, but I have to wonder, how does one calmly and quietly become an athiest, especially after living a lifetime of ideas that that suddenly seem ignorant and wrong? I think it’s a normal reaction to be angry, and to be angry for some time. It seems like you’re past that now, though. Maybe April is worried that you’re angry with her because she’s still a Christian. Maybe deep down, April has some of the same doubts about her faith that you once wrestled with, and she fears what would happen if she abandoned her faith. I agree with what Michael Mock said on April’s blog- go off, just the two of you, down some tequila and talk. Have another Grey Gardens fashion show, make fun of your mom’s puppets. Get her to help you with a PNW photo shoot! It doesn’t matter who reaches out to who(m?), as long as someone reaches out.

    • km:

      Rechelle, I have to say that I never fully comprehended the interweaving of religion and day-to-day life until I cyber met the two of you. We’re on the East Coast. In our family there are all sorts of beliefs and lackthereof. It’s just not a big deal. But then I never comprehended that for someone their religion is also their social circle, their sports day, their school, their life milestones, everything really… April obviously misses you but I think Kelley has a good point. How do you absorb a non-believer into your wholly religious lifestyle? I’m sure the Nosey set have beleagured her with questions and tut-tutting. She has no answers because she is a believer. It’s all so incomprehensible.
      I think both of you are great. If the Queen can visit Ireland safely, bloody hell gals, I think you can bridge this divide. (not mentioning that watching Liz Tuesday didn’t give me a tension headache worrying some jackass would injure her)
      I will personally donate the Jameson. I’ll invite myself too:)

      • This also is what I do not understand. Why religion is so all consuming in people’s lives. I am not from Kansas either, but do live here now. And I really do think you must be partly right. Someone who’s life is religion-centered cannot comprehend what is to be done without it. I think you worded it well.

      • JimmyBoy:

        And of course, it gets rubbed in every time they sit down to pray: presumably April prays for you Rechelle all the time and should she forget, then someone else is bound to pitch in. That must reinforce the “loss” in her mind constantly. It’s nonsense of course at a rational level: but it’s her ‘reality’ right now – which explains (not justifies) the comments and position.

        Having folks tell me they will pray for me makes the red mist descend. I’ve not found a particularly great way to deal with it yet either…

  • Julia:

    Call her

  • annmarie:

    Haven’t checked out your sister’s site yet. It’s sad that the two of you don’t talk much anymore because you seemed to enjoy each other so much before. I have a sister and if I ever lost the relationship we have I would feel as though I had lost a limb. I hope she can try to come to some sort of place where she sees you as her sister and not as an atheist.

  • Carol:

    Oh. My. God. What a clusterfuck. I have a small idea of what you’re going through (my ‘coming out’ consists of listing my religion as Agnostic on FB and not attending church any more- that, and I live completely across the country from my family of origin, which is helpful!) – and I am so sorry your sister has chosen to feel hurt and offended by your growth and change. That being said, I know how hard it is to be around people you love when you feel their disapproval and hurt just being around them. It’s very counter-productive, to say the least. That being said, if you’re like me and my sister, when you were a “believer”, I’m sure it rarely came up and was rarely the topic of discussion- and it was assumed that your belief was very similar to each others. Just get on the phone and meet halfway to get trashed- and whether or not you choose to rage and bitch it out, hug it out, agree to disagree, or just not ever discuss it is up to you and April. Just don’t drive home drunk <3
    Love ya more than my duffel bag : )

  • Nancy:

    You’re a good woman, Rechelle. To be able to read the comments on CCF and not blast those sanctimonious biddies out of the water takes a strength I don’t possess. My atheist son called today and said “Hey Mom, looks like we’re on the no-fly list for the rapture!” I laughed and suggest laying an empty set of clothes out on the lawn Saturday to excite the neighbors who spend so much time praying for our heathen souls. I’ve mentioned before that I live in the Bible Belt where full contact christianity is the norm. Still waiting to see all of the goodness that’s supposed to flow from God-fearing folks. My sister is a practicing Catholic which gives me cold chills, but as long as she doesn’t shove it down my throat, we’re good. I accept her and she accepts me. It ain’t easy, but it’s what we’ve got.

  • Megan:

    I read and commented on April’s post several times yesterday. I am not ordinarily one of those people who feels the need to jump in and defend someone who is wholly capable of defending themselves and I try never to put words in someone’s mouth.

    HOWEVER, your sister’s post made me sick to my stomach. Anyone who has been here reading for awhile knows of the awkward position your “outing” has put you in with your community and your family. Why your sister chose that outlet and that way of voicing her opinions and concerns, I can’t fathom. It reads very much to me that she is more concerned about how her church and school friends view her than being there for you.

    I don’t get it, I think it’s pretty shitty and I am awfully sorry that she did that to you.

  • ADoyle:

    I think Ghandi was describing people like your sister when he said “I like your Christ, but I don’t like you Christians because you’re nothing like your Christ.” After all, one thing Jesus did say was to love one another, and that includes “enemies.” As for myself, I also think the world would be a better place without organized religion, and when someone says that the only reason why they’re a good person is because of their religion, they scare the crap out of me.

    • susan:

      ADoyle:

      can i say that I agree COMPLETELY with that belief. its why i deplore organized religion with all the hypocrisy.

  • Anna:

    You are a stronger woman than I, Rechelle. I couldn’t have gone to my sisters blog and read those insipid posts let alone reply to them. I am living the same life you are it seems. It is hard when “good” christians feel the need to tell you what a lousy human being you are because you don’t believe what they do.They believe bigotry and homophobia are the new black. And when someone doesn’t buy into their insanity… well sometimes it pricks a hole in their christian bubble and maybe they might see that the emperor doesn’t have his clothes on at that moment in time. Scary times. Makes them double down and hate more. Herd mentality. Must not be different.
    I don’t hate my christian relatives, I just pity their fear of death and bigotry.

  • AnnB:

    Did you miss the loving reaching out your sister responded with every time you posted your 5th grade snark? You did not have the courage to reach back and meet her half way. You “came out” like a bat out of hell Rechelle- blasting your sister and her family in Your blog. Whatever your religious differences, as huge as they may be, she has shown grace. Enough victim role playing. You sisters need to go away for a weekend and do some knitting. So step up!

    • susan:

      AnnB – as in Ann Biatch!

      She was being Rechelle trying to rise above the shitty sanctimonious snarky crap that was being spewed by throwing in humor…..biatch.

    • Skattebol:

      AnnB,
      Somehow I missed the loving reaching out by April. If she misses Rechelle so fucking much, she should pick up the telephone and call her. April IS the one who wrote a post about losing her sister, which really was so very passive aggressive. She did not lose a sister; she has chosen not to accept Rechelle’s new beliefs. So, really, if she truly wanted to reach out to Rechelle she would not do it within the comments section of HER blog and get on the fucking phone and call Rechelle.

      I think you missed a lot of the story if this is your response….

  • AnnB: – Shut up!

    • Keep in mind April ran off to gREEd for her weekend get away of loving and reaching out.

  • Irma:

    I am one of the people who commented on your sister’s post, and basically what I said there, I will repeat here: I don’t know either of you personally, so it is not my place to speculate or judge.

    But I can ALSO unequivocably add that your responses to the comments were brilliant and freaking funny….I could literally see you chasing your boys around with a chainsaw. xo

  • Nadine:

    The thing that blows my mind is that the commenters repeatedly point out your “hatred and vitriol.” Somehow they can’t process that you are realizing everything you’ve believed for a long time is completely false…and you’re working through all the various threads behind that falsehood.
    I don’t see why that’s so difficult to fathom, but then I guess people can be so steeped in their beliefs that they think you are just having some sort of hysterical reaction to a need for attention.
    I, too, was creeped out by your sister’s replies. It’s like she had decided to “turn the other cheek” except she’d set up the blog post as a way to get the opportunity to turn it.
    On the other hand, I also have sisters, and I hope she can find a way to just treat you as a fellow person she loves and not a pariah, and that you guys get to reconnect.

  • anna:

    First time here. Interesting. This blog may be worth following ; )

    • JimmyBoy:

      anna: a great blog this.

      Perhaps the best post I’ve read on a blog was Rechelle’s apology just after the liberation of deconversion. Rechelle – I can’t find it any more – but could you post a link to it? I don’t suppose I am alone as a deconvert who found it really very touching (because it was so pertinent to me too!).

      • Betsy:

        oh please anna – don’t waste anymore time here unless you like ‘drama’ pooooooooooor rechelle….the world just hates her.

  • Dorothy:

    That highway to your sister’s runs both ways as do the phone lines.

  • scd:

    Awesome. (Your responses, here and there, not your sister.) Your sister is a narcissist, and she sucks as a sister. She doesn’t grasp the definition.

    You’re brave, Rechelle. They call you nuts and mentally deranged and bi-polar because most people are too afraid to say what they think. You say it. Sometimes, I think you go too far, but that’s okay, it’s just my opinion. Besides, I LIKE that you go too far sometimes. It’s healthy and courageous and interesting.

    Your sister is boring and insipid, and probably very intimidated by you. You should pray for her. (JUST KIDDING.)

  • Kay in KCMO:

    Rechelle, as an avid reader of both you and your sister’s blogs, I have to know – is April a gay-hating, young earth creationist? I ask this because of your apology for being a christian shithead (since you were raised by the same parents in the same religion it’s logical to assume that she holds the same illogical beliefs that you gave up).

    While Christian, April always seemed light-hearted and lacking the bigotry and ignorance that evangelicals generally seem to have. This passive-aggressive streak that she’s showing seems counter to what she’s presented in the past and is troubling. Now, I won’t lose any sleep over it, but it just seems…odd.

  • Diane Tulsa:

    The Dalai Lama is on to something when he says to start from a position of compassion. Let go of ego. I have been reading Rechelle’s blog for some time but just today visited her sister’s. It’s quite good! What an amazing pair of sisters! I don’t really understand the way April has taken on this “I’ve lost my sister” stance, but I wish both Rechelle and April would put aside their own hurt feelings for a moment (I know, it’s hard to do) and look at the other with real compassion. Okay, you think “she” is wrong or misguided or whatever. Stop. You know each other really well, like sisters, duh. April should think about how Rechelle feels with compassion. She doesn’t have to agree with what makes Rechelle feel that way. Just imagine what it’s like to feel angry or betrayed or rejected by family. And Rechelle should imagine with compassion what it’s like for April to have her dearest beliefs attacked, or to believe her sister will suffer for her choices.
    Once they can feel the other’s painful feelings, they can connect as humans and forgive. No one has to be “right” or resolve any belief issues. Just exercise loving kindness.
    I agree with everyone who has said ONE of them needs to pick up the phone and call. Then meet for drinks and lots of them, with a side of I’m sorry now let’s be sisters.

    • NMB:

      I’m not good with words, but this sums up how I felt when I read the sister’s original post. Love this blog and am just so sorry you have a family rift going on – I know that hurts, despite the way you keep going and even see humor in some of it. Sisters are a complex relationship. I won’t say I’m “praying for you” but can I say I’m hoping you two are able to find a way to be closer again? Take care and I’m hoping this stuff leads to some communication to you guys – maybe you’re the yin to her yang? Best wishes that things improve!

  • Susan Sawatzky:

    R…did you see the one where I stood up for you….YEAH! Told her she didn’t lose a sister, just gained a more interesting one.

    Some day I’ll tell you a tale about my youngest and his conversion to Pentacostal person.

    Susan in Spokane

  • Kristina:

    I think you are fricking hilarious and I support you. But life is just too damn short to hold grudges and be angry with each other. I lost my older brother to alcoholism 6 months ago and we had not spoken for 2 years. I regret this every second of every day. I should have let bygones be bygones and reconciled with him. He wanted to and I just ignored him. Please…the two of you need to make up before (God…er whoever forbid) something happens and it’s too late.

  • The editor:

    What was I doing tonight? Celebrating my birthday – thanks for the present.

  • John M.:

    On the Coal Creek Farm blog, no matter what you commented, your sister had only one response — she misses you. Missed you high, missed you low, missed you in the middle. Maybe for the next gift-giving occasion, you could — anonymously if need be — buy her lessons on how to aim.

    • John, I think you *missed* one part. Her sister loves her. And you can’t get inbetwen that. You know? They may have a huge divide between them now regarding spirituality and beliefs, but I think deep down they love one another very.very.much.

  • Axelle the french reader:

    Hello Rechelle, I just wanted to tell how much those two post (yours and the one of your sister) has surprised me. This way of acting is really surprising for me.
    Most of all, I’m so sad for both of you : because, for me, two sisters divided, separated by religion seem to me so strange ! Maybe because I’m french and because I don’t believe in god either.
    I’m really sad for you two.
    If I dare I would just tell you to not let this difference of thinking separate you.
    You have the right, each of you, to think what you want to think.
    In france, we say that there’s 2 things we dont have to talk, with people … Politic and religion !
    Friendly,

  • Jan Blawat:

    Arianna Huffington was a true blue (or is it red?) conservative when her ex-husband ran for Governor in California. It was pretty much her disenchantment with the party she supported that made her question her own values and do a 180. I’m sure many people would rather she’d kept her mouth shut and let this be an internal battle, but here she is today being paid big bucks for her adventure. Some people suffer in silence and others grow more by sharing. It’s OK to seem far out at times, I think, as long as you have the grace to admit when you find yourself off base and the good humor to let yourself bend. I think you do. Your struggle with your own thoughts and feelings has made me take another look at my own. Thank you, sorry you’ve had rough times over this. It will pass.

  • 337mom:

    So I am confused. I did not know of either of your blogs before you, Rechelle came to the realization you were an atheist. I may have seen your sister’s since then, but did not know you two were connected. That said, I have no idea why you two are only talking through blogs. Has she disowned you? Have you disowned her? It seems as if there are some serious communication issues going on with both of you and blogging will not solve them. Life is too short to let religion or lack thereof, politics, or PW [seriously, don't get that. I can't read her blog, too much stuff] to get in the way of your relationship.

    My sister and I are polar opposites in just about every avenue of life. We respect each other. Sometimes we talk politics or religion or whatever, but we respect each other. I certainly wouldn’t take her to task online and would not want her to take me to task online.

    You two need to talk, and not in a public forum. I hope you two can reconcile your differences. I bet you two were a lot of fun together, and I would enjoy getting to know you both.

  • You are a vegetarian? I can’t even entice you to eat any lovely meat? I am heart broken. And you and your sister will find some common space — not man, not God, not a sale at Nordstroms can break the bonds between sisters.

  • nanne:

    hey, rechelle,

    are you ok? haven’t seen a comment from you lately. it looks like you have had an interesting and maybe tough night.

    you are an incredibly talented writer & an original thinker with a unique voice. keep on with your blog & your search for whatever you are searching for & keep on keeping us in the loop.

    thanks for your funnies, your insight & your willingness to let your readers into the raw side of your life.

    i look forward to seeing your sardornic comments on my cheesy-ness.

    take care!

    nanne

    • Rechelle:

      Just got home from a full day of work at the Garden Center where one of my co-workers (Cassie C) kept telling me that she ‘loved me’ and ‘missed me’ all day long. It made me laugh so hard. I am okay – and from the looks of April’s blog – she has rapidly moved on to making cakes and hunting Easter eggs, so she appears to be alright too. I am working all day tomorrow – don’t know when I will really have time to absorb the shenanigans of the internet and it’s strange affect on my sibling relationship, but right now all I really want to do is go look at Johnny Depp in a pirate costume for two hours bit a big bucket of popcorn. Wonder if I can talk anyone around here into going with me?

  • Joyce Ann:

    Bottom line, you are sisters, there is a bond that will never be broken. You both need to stop with the posts about each other and talk to each other, religion, politics, nothing is as important as your relationship with each other.

  • sandy:

    I just posted a comment on your sister’s blog. I noticed she had quite a few comments. Since I am not typically a reader of her blog, I have no idea if this is an increase in her numbers. Heaven, jesus, god, mother mary and howdy doody help her if raising her reader average was the intent of her post. I am dismayed at her passive aggressive behavior. And her comment about losing a sister? I will tell you what losing a sister is. It’s when you are 52 years old and your 56 year old sister who has suffered from multiple sclerosis for 26 years, dies! THAT is losing your sister.

    Sandy…..the (un)christian

  • HG:

    I started to write a comment on CCF but deleted it because I don’t read your sister’s blog and didn’t see the point of joining the superficial love fest.

    I don’t understand why your sister is such a PW kiss ass. Why does she care that you aren’t on the PW bandwagon. It makes me wonder if she feels PW is going to wave her magic wand and make CCF a significant money making blog…dream on. For most bloggers, that day is over.

    I also question why she needs validation from complete strangers. The post was such an obvious attempt to garner “atta girl”, “you awesome Christian” comments.

    Lastly, I suspect if April called you at 3am to bail her out of jail, you would. PW and all those loving commenters? April would be shit out of luck.

  • Kay in KCMO:

    I wonder what prompted April’s post. Rechelle declared her atheism a year and a half ago, so why is April starting this drama now? If the answer was in the comments of that post, well, TL;DR.

    HG, I think you might be spot on about April trying to make CCF a truly money-making blog. She joined Blogher a while back and several weeks ago she had a blatant advertising post directing her readers to click on a link for a particular product or to try a particular product (can’t remember). It really stood out from the regular content and was, like I said, blatant. She was trying to sound casual, but wasn’t pulling it off, IIRC.

    Anyway, I’ve deleted CCF from my bookmarks; she doesn’t deserve my page views.

    • This post came right on the heels of getting back from visiting the almighty gREEd. The 2 are connected. April received gREEds money making advise, but for a price. Did they write this blog while at the Lodgemahal?

      Remember, Pie Near is getting a lot of hits. What better way to remind/show gREEd’s followers who is behind all of this. gREEd can’t point this out herself, but April, the god fearin’ sister can. She can also remind the sheeple, and anyone else that pays gREEd, that Rechelle is a godless, pour lost soul. GASP!!!!

      April, with her golden blonde halo of hair will love her sister some day. Just like she loves her feet. Did gREEd and April come up with that after the third or fourth bottle of wine?

      Then the bizarre comments from April. Totally disturbing. She sounded like a REEbot.

      Rechelle, I love you
      Rechelle, I miss you
      Rechelle, I love you
      Rechelle, I miss you

      repeat ad nauseam…..

      That was just too cREEpy.

      • Kay in KCMO:

        Ah, thanks for the enlightenment, CCE (may I call you CCE?). So, April has officially hooked up with PW. Wow. April never seemed that superficial. I guess she needed to learn how to suck in as many page views as possible so she can continue to spend thousands every year sending four kids to private school while being deep in debt.

    • Lisa:

      Maybe April was hoping for a last-minute save before the Rapture!

  • scd:

    Is it weird that I’m still thinking about this? Probably. But your sister’s post is also weird. The responses to her post are all either defensive or supportive, depending on what side people are on, or taking the Switzerland route and telling you to call each other. Most of the responses are emotional. But if you look back at her post analytically, it’s a little more interesting. We know she sat down to write about her feelings about you. That’s clear in her final point. What’s not clear is the rambling approach she takes to getting there. She starts out talking about her feet, how she used to hate them, but now realizes they’re beautiful, then dives into a response to your vegetarianism, a response to your atheism, then makes her point with her feelings about you.

    The whole post is about you, though. Remember, we know she sat down to write a post about you. That much is blatant.

    And when she sat down, unable to START with her feelings about you in a direct way, I think she stated them indirectly. Down deep, she realizes that you are like her feet (LOL)–you may seem “ugly” now but you are beautiful to her, perhaps the best part of her. Then she excuses/defends her rift with you by rambling on about your differences and trying to differentiate herself from you as well as make a statement to her audience. Then she ends with that whiny thing about how much pain your choices cause her.

    But what she really feels is the thing she said first, that’s from her heart, the rest of it is from the part of her that judges and defines how she “thinks” she has to respond and feel (her definition of Christianity, must not associate with the unbeliever and so on–yes, that’s a conflict with Jesus associating with unbelievers, but that same conflict is found in the Bible and guess which path most Christians choose?), plus a dose of whining.

    The creepy stuff in the comments is like a mix of a ploy to get your attention and a show for her audience.

    In any case, she knows you are the most beautiful part of her, and if I were you, I’d take that as the takeaway.

  • For what it’s worth….here’s my 2 cents:

    Focus on the good and force yourself to ignore the rest. She’s your sister. You have a lifetime of memories, laughter, and love between the two of you. You don’t have to be carbon copies of each other. You don’t have to agree. BOTH of you are hurting. It shows in your writing and in her writing. Ignore the advice that points you away from your family. Work at finding a place where you and your sister can meet. It won’t be the same place it was two years ago, and that’s OK. Heck, it may even be a better, stronger, more mature place…

    My sister and I have vastly different political and social views. I’ve learned to be the one that doesn’t have to “be right” in every conversation. I’ve learned to not “bristle” every time she spouts off something I disagree with and I’ve learned to be quiet. Why? Because she’s my one and only sister and when it comes to stuff that matters….she’s right there beside me. Also, my dad has a sister who refuses to talk to the family. She wouldn’t even sit with the family at my grandfather’s funeral. On the way home from the funeral, I told my boys that the ONE thing they could do that would totally disappoint me would be to behave like their great-aunts and grandfather. I told them it would break my heart into pieces. They opened up about how they missed their great-aunt and could not understand why she also ignored them. Up until that moment, I did not realize how much they had been hurt by the actions of the adults in their family. It was a sobering moment.

    Right now we are dealing with a major health crisis with my mom. If I had not made the choice to “get along” with my sister a few years ago, this whole crisis thing would be even worse.

    Take the first step…..someone has to….there may be a few stumbles…but in the end, you’ll be glad.

  • Damn, here I thought “one more for our side!” either way, I’m sorry you’re still dealing with this after all this time. My brother, a Promise Keeper, still believes I’m going to hell, blah, blah, blah.

    I wish our families could focus more on the fact that we’re happy and decent people rather than focus on the assumptions of our being atheists. Of course the lesbian bit isn’t helping me either…

  • Suzy:

    Wow… Your sister has indicated that she is hurting and you pour salt on the wound. Here is a newsflash for you. You are not cool, hip or fun. You seem to be very bitter and hateful. No judgements, of course. How dare anyone point out the obvious.

    I suppose if you can live without all the fun the two of you used to enjoy, she will learn to live without it as well, but you could have become an athiest without hurting and belittling those who love you.

    Be well.

    • Rechelle:

      Suzy – Well – I kinda knew the part about not being cool or hip already – but thanks for the reminder. I would like to think of myself as somewhat of a ‘fun’ person. I mean – I like to do things and I laugh easily and generously in a sort of spastic, oft times ear splitting way, but I suppose that to some people behavior like that could come across as the exact opposite of ‘fun’. Thanks for the newsflash Suzy!

  • kristi:

    Hey Rechelle,

    I don’t think this will have any affect but I thought it was worth tossing out there… I’m a conservative christian, homeschooling, Pioneer Woman reading gal and I read your blog! Like, I check in daily! Somehow I can see you as a real person although all I know about you is what you write here! But you make me laugh!!! You also make me cringe (not in my hiney) but then I move on. Frankly, a lot of what you have said has made me a better thinker. I read April’s blog as well and you both make me LOL. Maybe it’s me but I just go where I enjoy the read. I hope ya’ll can patch up what needs patching but in the mean time I enjoy the read! Ok, most days… ;)

  • JJ:

    Sisters can be a pain in the hinney – no doubt. Mine drives me batty. But do we want someone to believe exactly as we do? How boring that would be!
    Well, my suggestion for you both is to get out your big girl panties and put them on – it could be like another dress up session! I loved those pics of you two ( I can’t remeber who posted them – the coats and hats). Made me a little envious – that you could laugh together like that. Did I tell you that my sister can be a pain in the ass sometimes…

  • action squirrel:

    Ultimately I think your sister’s post was a step towards you, she’s obviously way outside her comfort zone and doesn’t know how to pick up the phone (the extra web traffic surely didn’t hurt, though), but if I were you I’d opt to take her overt confessions of missing you at face value. You guys obviously love each other like crazy.

    Coming as I am from a situation that somewhat mirrors yours, I wonder how much your sister’s husband influences the black and whiteness of the situation.

    I stopped reading her a while back, because I had the feeling she just didn’t really know herself all that well. She’s funny sometimes but not all that hopeful generally. I’m betting your falling out had more to do with having to reconsider her own attachment to faith, rather than yours.

  • Albug:

    I really do like your blog. You make me laugh you make me think. I was into you before your year of enlightenment. Your humor and your writing ability blow me away.
    I have been around the block and back a few times — on a bicycle and then in a car and soon with a walker I think. I have three male siblings, we grew up in a totally disfunctional family. My brothers and I never agree, they think I’m spoiled I think they have their heads up their asses. However, when our parents died, the only people I wanted to see, talk to, hang on to, were my three asshole brothers. Why, because they understood, they knew, they had the history. You are sisters, don’t let your conflicting beliefs keep you apart. Make a move, use that common history and your sense of humor to find that common ground. Agree to disagree and then laugh about it. Good luck.

  • Sarah K:

    Yikes, I can’t believe your sister put this out for all of blogland to discuss! Very lame as are her passive/agressive “I miss you” responses. I have 3 sisters and when one is a butt head, I tell her to her face she’s being a butthead and then we get on with being sisters (of course, I’m never a butthead!).
    Seriously, I am embarrased for you that someone who professes that they love you so much puts this out for public discussion and send you sisterly cyber hugs because I know this has to hurt.

  • LucyJoy:

    Yeah, Rechelle…I understand how you’re feelling. One of my sisters & the rest of our siblings had a falling out 20+ years ago when our mother died. It was tough for me for many years until I finally realized that she probably wasn’t waisting as much energy on the how situation had evolved. I decided to quit worrying about it & go on with my life. Woo-hoo! So much happier am I! My sister & I speak on occasion; I just can’t be around her too much because she tends to be too negative & “Woe is me.” I love my sister & would do anything for her; I just don’t like her most of the time. Perhaps, with time, your relationship with April will scar over so that she can at least be civil towards you & accept you for who you have grown into.

    You’re the best!