While You Are Waiting For Me To Eviscerate Gwyneth Paltrow…

April 19th, 2011

I know you are breathless with anticipation about Pie Near’s interview with Gwyneth Paltrow regarding her new cookbook ‘My Father’s Daughter’.  I also know that you didn’t even know about Pie Near’s interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, but that is okay – because Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t know about it either!  So this will be an extra special surprise for everyone!  Even as we speak – Pie Near is agonizing over whether to wear her fringed Native American blanket dress or her rodeo queen bandanna miniskirt with matching denim vest.  Paltrow however, has decided on a see-thru navy gown covered in silvery stars.

In the meantime… because I love you and because it’s Tuesday – here is a video that will help to set the tone.

Bon Apertif!


  • theresa:

    *snap snap snap snap* (clapping like a hipster)

    • FL LIz:

      hahahahaha… I haven’t heard ( read) *snap snap snap snap* clapping in YEARS. Very appropriate here Theresa.
      That was hilarious vid – can’t wait for Rechelle’s interview.

  • Mo:

    OMG that was so perfect.

    Of course Paltrow would not deign to stress over what to wear among the little people. Can’t wait to see who gets their head up their own ass the farthest.

  • Martha in Kansas:

    I like what you’ve done with your basement! Is that your husband? (cackle, cackle, cackle)

  • nanne:

    i’m still breathlessly waiting for the pie near woman’s interview during her moose hunting trip (across the street from russia) with sarah palin…..

  • Perfect. I cannot wait for the Pie Near interview of GOOP girl.

  • mollys:

    oh soooo good was that rEE’S COOKBOOK being used for the enlightening reading?

  • This ought to be good, very good. I didn’t realize she’d written a book. You can’t subscribe to Goop on a conventional feed reader so unless I check manually, I never know what’s going on.

  • Michelle:

    He missed my favorite line, “One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”

    • Michelle:

      And, can I just say how excited I am to finally know how to pronounce “salad nicoise”? (If, in fact, he is saying it correctly.)

    • susan:


      Do you actually HAVE that book????

      • Michelle:

        I do. But I work for a book distributor, and I get a lot of free books. I did not pay for it.

    • angela:

      i was waiting for that one too! i don’t have the book, just saw another website that trashed it and featured some of the more memorable bougie nonsense.

  • Nadine:

    I saw Pie Near’s book at Barnes and Noble the other day and wanted to be all “omg! Pie Near!” but there was no one around me. Sad times.