Over the past few days I have noticed an uptick in readers landing on a post I wrote about Susan Wise Bauer. Bauer, as you may recall is the Christian homeschooling guru who wrote The Well Trained Mind. Apparently Bauer’s influence reaches well beyond God’s most holy people – the Christian homeschoolers and into further outposts of Jewish and secular homeschooling populations as well. She maintains a forum self labeled ‘the hive mind’ which sent notable numbers of traffic to this site when someone left a link on the forum to one of my early Pie Near Woman parodies. Up until that point, I had never heard of The Well Trained Mind and it’s hive minded forum.
But the recent traffic that is landing on this site is not coming from the WTM forum. Instead, these folks are seeking out information on Susan Wise Bauer. I had to wonder why and after a brief google search I found out that there is currently some serious dissent among the ranks in the Christian homeschooling world. I know! SHOCKING! And the topic at the epicenter of the present debate – is EVOLUTION and the BOOK OF GENESIS!
Evidently Susan Wise Bauer publishes not just her own Christianized versions of historical text books for bible believing homeschoolers, she also publishes some religious curriculum written by Peter Enns through an imprint of her Peace Hill Press publishing company called Olive Branch books. Peter Enns is the senior fellow of biblical studies for an organization headed by Francis Collins called BioLogos. Francis Collins is the guy famous for decoding the human genome and for somehow being a devout Christian at the same time. In other words – he is the rare super smart scientist who still believes in unicorn fairy dust. So Enns is tight with Collins and that is impressive to a certain segment of Christians (the ones whose brains still work pretty good), but to those who are fearlessly unafraid to believe that the world was not only created by a male God with a penis in six days and then destroyed by a flood, except for six people and eleventeen twillion animals who all survived on a boat and then they got out of the boat and re-populated the entire world and then all those people got really super evil again so God had to come down to earth and impregnate a thirteen year old virgin with his God seed and then thirty three years later, he had to stand idly by while the resulting God seed child was nailed to two ‘morsels of wood’ died, put in a tomb, and then rose again, walked around for a while, saw a few old buddies and then flew up to heaven where he currently judges the quick and the dead and loves us so, so, SO much, but can’t quite bring himself to stop the FUCKING TSUNAMI FROM KILLING THOUSANDS OF JAPANESE AND CRACKING OPEN A NUCLEAR REACTOR. But whatever Jesus! You still the man! You are still so totally awesome and I still totally fucking believe in you!
So Ken Ham pulls out his hammer of iron at a recent homeschooling conference and starts doing his best John Calvin imitation by slamming fellow conference speaker, Peter Enns for being such a non-literal Adam believer and for SO not believing in a world wide flood like Jesus totally said so!
And then Susan Wise Bauer was accused of getting her homeys together and kicking Ham’s ass out of the conference for not playing nice with the smart scientist Christian man and for scarily disrupting the sales of her Christian homeschooling merchandise by spreading a bunch of lies amongst her sheeple! Although according to Susan, she had nothing to do with Ham’s dismissal.
And then Ham GETS BUSY and starts spewing his vitriol all over the freakin’ internet, drawing lines in the sand and rousing his people to back him and shun Bauer and Enns.
It’s kind of like a tsunami hit a nuclear reactor at the Christian Homeschooling Convention!
Holy (and I do mean HOLY) shit!
You can read a less profanity laced version at Christianity Today…
Here’s a link to BioLogos.
Here’s what Susan Wise Bauer has to say….
And here’s Ken Ham’s response…
As always – I am happy to be the crossroads between Christian homeschoolers and the correct interpretation of the Bible. It is my fondest wish that people would only come to see the real truth in scripture and live accordingly. Off to spend the rest of the evening memorizing Ezekiel and Lamentations (my favorites!)!
Your faithful devout bible believin’ homeschool lovin’ servant,
I just visited the Well Trained Mind Forum to get the link and noted that the most traffic the forum has ever gotten was on March 23, 2011 – the very day that the Ken Ham/Peter Enns/Susan Wise Bauer story broke.
Also – It would appear that Ham is attempting a bit of ‘finance terrorism’ towards Bauer as he is currently and forcefully promoting homeschooling textbooks written by a biblical literalist on his facebook page.
I wonder how Bauer will respond?
I love how Christianity makes people so much better than the rest of us lowly sinful folk. Don’t you?