Pie Near Woman and the Mean Old School Marm!

March 10th, 2011


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Hi everyone!  It’s me!  The Pie Near Woman!  Did you recognize me in my nursemaid uniform?  This is what I wear when I home-school the punks.  It helps me to feel connected to my inner Laura Ingalls Wilder while simultaneously allowing me to breastfeed whenever I feel like it!  I love homeschooling!
But I also love teaching you – my readers – my friends – the only friends I have.
So today I am wearing my nursemaid uniform to home-school you about my favorite word…

FOIBLE!!!

We have so many foibles here on the ranch.

We are constantly doing foibles!

Look at me!

Look at me doing foibles!

I am such a foibler!

I foible all the time!

I love to foible!

Foibling is my life!!!

Foibles, foibles, FOIBLES!

I foible in the kitchen, I foible in the rain, I foible with my Charlie, I foible in great pain.

My breast they leak with foible, my IPhone loves me best, I foible with my camera and I foible with great zest.

I so love to foible!

And I love to DO foibles!

And foibles love to DO ME!!!!

But sometimes I get confused and in a hurry and I wreck the suburban into a fence so that I can have another foible and then I foible my way across America with my foible-full cookbook and foibling romance of a rich ranch dip wrapped inside  a creamy redheaded foible…

But then other times I get in a hurry and I accidentally write foible as FOYBULL.

Which makes me think of bullshit.

Which makes me think of my entire blog!

Which…

Which…

Which…

Never-mind.

Foible.

It is my favorite word.

It should be your favorite word too.

Because I said so.

Amen.

Goodbye forever!

Or at least until my next foible brings us back together!

Comments

  • Jennine:

    The Internet is my shepherd, I shall not want for Pottery Barn.
    It maketh me lie down in mud, to get shots of MM’s hiney.
    It leadeth me behind the Basset Hound.
    It restores my bank account.
    It leadeth me on book tours, for my name’s sake.

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of high end hotel rooms, I will fear no room service: For the Internet art with me;
    Thy comments and thy hiney-kissing, they comfort me.

    Thou preparest a table before me with stolen recipes from Tasty Kitchen; Thou annointest my head with butter; My cups runneth over with dreams of lactation.

    Surely clicks and ad revenue shall follow me all the days of my life,
    and I will dwell in the House of Photoshop forever.

    • Rechelle:

      Awesome. It’s like Pie Near Woman Cowboy poetry!

      • Kait:

        I bow down to the two of you.

        • LucyJoy:

          Boy…me, too… Awesome!

    • annmarie:

      OMG! I love it….this is hysterical!

    • TXAggies:

      LOVE IT … thanks to you and Rechelle … my grins for the day

  • Glyndia:

    OMG! I deeply love both of you talented ladies! Thanks for the giggles!

  • Martha MC (EzGrandma in OK):

    Ah, Rechelle, you make me laugh. “Rich ranch dip,” indeed.

    And Jennine, you had me “The Internet is my shepherd.”

    Thanks for sharing your talents, ladies.

  • Mo:

    This is the kind of funny that tickles my foible bone. I mean the kind of tickle that bones my foibler. I mean the kind of bone that foibles my tickler.

    FUNNY. And the boots … yes I’m fixated … they are even more STUNNING paired with the Wilder Smock.

  • who are you??? you make fun of pioneer woman because…. you don’t. have a life or you just choose to be a ronchy witch. I couldn’t use bad language but I am sure you get it. Share something nice or disapear. The world need less of your kindf.

    • Rechelle:

      Actually ‘unavailable’ the words – ‘ronchy witch’ is a prime example of bad language. And so are your terms – ‘disapear’ and ‘kindf’. You also totally rock the sentence fragment world with – you make fun of pioneer woman because you don’t. AND – ‘have a life or you just choose to be a ronchy witch.’ You are actually very good at using bad language girly. So don’t be so humble about it!

      • look at you, all intelligent.

    • susan:

      unavailable:

      well at least you spelled your moniker correctly. FYI: its RAUNCHY and DISAPPEAR. Be gone with you….okay?

    • Karen:

      Unavailable-
      Tell us the truth, you’re one of four she homeschools, right?

      • LucyJoy:

        If you’re not fond of Rechelle’s satire, you’re free to move on, Unavailable. No one is forcing you to be here…..

      • I'm Rhonda, and I'm here to help:

        Karen,

        bwahahahahahahahahaha! You just made my day! Brilliant!

      • MJ:

        That exchange was so damn hilarious!

    • Peggi Lee:

      Rechelle, do you mind if I call dibs on the new user name “Ronchy Witch”?. Classic. Just classic.

    • Reeformed Addict:

      How exactly did Unavailable come across this blog? Mistakenly misspelling PW in the Google search? He/She’ll be back after spending the day stewing about such an atrocity!

    • Jaime:

      Dear Unavailable,
      Were you homeschooled? I ask because your grammar and spelling are atrocious (you can look that word up on dictionary.com). You might want to pull out those antiquated home-schooling textbooks and take a refresher on sentence construction too. When you’re finished, mosey on over to the interwebs and look up the meaning of “satire”. After you have been properly educated, feel free to post an intelligent comment.

    • TXAggies:

      What are YOU ? all of 15 years old I bet ??
      You REALLY need to learn there’s something on your computer called SPELL CHECK …

  • Kathy:

    Unavailable,

    Have you being drinking heavily this morning?

    Funny post Rechelle, thanks.

  • Oh unavailable you make me so sad. If you are going to write a comment where you disagree please please please use correct grammer and spelling. Otherwise you’re just ripe for the picking (on)…

  • poppy:

    Thank you for your foible foisting. You slay me!

  • Teri:

    Hey Unavailable! Please make yourself unavailable. Thanks ever so much!

  • Shay in NZ:

    Oh Rechelle and Jennine…. I think you are FOIBLELOUS : )

  • Judy M. from Catonsville:

    I guess I was spammed! Oh well.

    • Skattebol:

      Rechelle,
      You continue to surprise me (not in a bad way at all) with your satire and intellect in the Pie Near Woman theatre.

      • Skattebol:

        And I meant to ask why you would need to clean your mantel for Calder’s female friend? Did you have to remove potentially embarrassing child photos, wiccan alter pieces, or random Pie Near props??

  • you sure have double standards. Why don’t you not read her blog then.
    Hope I spelled everything correctly for you. I am now deleting you. because I have better things to do then correspond with the devils.

  • you sure have double standards. Why don’t you not read her blog then.
    Hope I spelled everything correctly for you. I am now deleting you. because I have better things to do then correspond with the devil.

    • MJ:

      Ms. XOXO,

      I regret to inform you that sentences are supposed to start with capital letters and that when you finish a sentence, you’re supposed to use a question mark (they look like this: ?)

      Also, the last sentence is a fragment and you should have used “than” instead of “then.”

      Other than that, good job!

      PS: Funny how you identify yourself as XOXO when there is nothing amicable about your comment. Ha!

      • Rechelle:

        I thought that was funny too. Maybe she means all of this as love?

        xoxo to xoxo.

      • getoveryourselves:

        I regret to inform you that the root of hatred begins with ones own self… Have a great day :D

        • The Marlboro Woman:

          @getoveryourselves

          Looks like that root sprouted right out your fingertips onto the keyboard of your computer.