Browsing Archives for March 2011

A Plague of Girls

March 7th, 2011

Suddenly and without any pre-apocalyptic warnings, my house is flooded with a plague of girls. They drip from the faucets. They are piled up in heaps in the corners of every room. They cling to my ceilings in silvery webs. I open a drawer – girls. I open a closet – girls. Yesterday, as I was unloading the dishwasher, three girls crawled out and scurried for cover behind the fridge. My question for you internet, is this. Where are the girls coming from and how do I get rid of them? Is there a pesticide? A relatively humane trap that will catch them and relocate them to some other house? Because I am not ready for this. I have grown accustomed to being the only female in this house and I want to keep it that way for just a tiny bit longer – like maybe ten more years.

And another thing – is the last minute shouted warning as they walk out of the house to attend boy/girl functions of ‘NO SEX! NO DRUGS!! NO ROCK AND ROLL!!!’ enough to keep my kids chaste and without offspring during this ‘awakening’ period of their lives? Or should I just pack them up and send them to BYU? Although, I don’t think my kids would do very well at BYU. Not because they couldn’t handle the honor code, but because they love basketball and they wouldn’t want to go to a school that kicks a great player off of a team just for being a dumb head. As KU basketball fans, we can certainly appreciate kicking a player off of a team for being a criminal miscreant, but for being a dumb head? I hope Brandon Davies can get his act together and get with another team next season. He still has his whole life ahead of him. His college basketball career shouldn’t have to come to an end because of this.

I weep for Spring.

In an attempt to make myself feel better, warmer, tanner, fitter, younger, smarter and better looking

I have assembled a few statue photographs.

I am sure it will work.

Aren’t you?

The above statue adorns the lawn of a private home in Atchison, Kansas

Lady in the Daisies at Lee Creek Gardens

Manhattan, Kansas

A pair of lions

Castle Combe

Wiltshire, England

Grassy path to child statue

Castle Combe

Wiltshire, England

Girl statue

Manhattan, Kansas cemetery

Abandoned building – Alcatraz

San Francisco, California


The late Bob Dorris private home outside Erie, Kansas