Browsing Archives for February 2011

Today I have read two really good de-conversion stories.  One at Friendly Atheist involving a young man on a mission trip who suddenly realizes he no longer believes. And one by Michael Mock where he attempts to explain once and for all why he can’t accept the premises presented in Christianity. Both are thoughtful and well written.  Thought I would pass them along.  Unbelievers need encouragement too!

Sometimes when I am taking photos of Pie Near Woman, I need a little help.

And so I will grab the nearest child and either get him to help me pose the dolls or take the photo.

Ethan took this shot and the rest of the photos on this page that feature both of my hands.

He also took several that don’t show my hands.

I wonder how this will figure into his future therapy sessions…

Therapist – Talk about your mother…

Son – She used to make me photograph her barbie dolls while she pretended they were wrestling with each other on a plate of marshmallow jello…

Therapist – Yes… go on…

Son – One of the dolls was Lucille Ball dressed in a ballerina costume, but to my mother she was actually a famous blogger named Ree Drummond…

Therapist – Uhuh… what else….

Son – The other doll was a Ken doll, but my mother had used a red magic marker to make his hair red so he could play the role of Bobby Flay…

Therapist – And then what happened…?

Son – Trisha Yearwood showed up with a goatee and judged the wrestling match, but she was actually an action hero with big beefy muscles…

Therapist – And how does this make you feel…?

Son – Uh… Hungry for marshmallow Jello?

Struggling with Peonies

February 22nd, 2011

February in Kansas is bitterly cold.  So I thought that perhaps a post on peonies would make Spring get here a bit faster.  But first, I must most regretfully inform you that I chronically mispronounce the word ‘peonies’.  I say it like this – Pee-OH-Neeze.  I have no idea why I say it this way and I fear it is too late for me to change my ways.  Even though my mispronunciation has caused me much embarrassment at my job where the following conversation has taken place more than once…

Customer – I am looking for that plant that has real big blooms.

Me – Oh… you mean hydrangea?

Customer – No.. It blooms in the spring and it has big round blossoms…

Me – Maybe a snowball bush?

Customer – You see it a lot in graveyards.  It tends to bloom on Memorial day…

Me – Oh!!!  You mean Pee OH Neeze!

Customer – No… but it is sort of sounds like that.  It is a short plant and usually pink.

Me – Are the blooms like cabbages?

Customer – Yes… that’s right.

Me – It’s Pee OH neeze.

Customer – Pee Oh What?

Me – Pee OH neeze.

Customer – Oh!  You mean PEEahneeze!

Me – Yes!  That’s what I said.  Pee OH neeze.

Customer – You gotta funny way of talking lady.

Me – Oh… well… I… uh… I come from… I was born in… I… Here… let me just show you where they are…

My struggles with Peonies do not end with my inability to pronounce them correctly.

I also have developed a resistance to their short blooming season, their tendency to droop under the weight of their own blossoms and the sticky ant infestation that often accompanies the plant.

The cure for my Peony resistance turned out to be a long and persuasive exposure to the Nippon Chief Peony at the garden center where I work.

The massive deep pink unusual looking flower was just the medicine I needed.

And so I eventually brought one home and planted it on the north east corner of the house amidst a trio of Snowbelle Mockorange, Emerald Triumph Viburnum and various perennials.

Memorial Day will be much prettier this year.