Pie Near Woman – Name This Photo Contest

December 9th, 2010

A new episode of Pie Near Woman is in the works, but Marlboro Man’s fine ass needed to go live tonite.

Got a caption for this photo?

Well… let it rip.

A copy of Bill Bryson’s Walk in the Woods or Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink goes to the winner.

Contest ends this Friday.


  • Kathy from NJ:

    You told me to let it rip and it blew a hole right thru my chappies.

  • Nancy:

    Marlboro Man was forced to don his assless chaps and rescue the Pie Near Woman when her creaky ballet knee got caught in her angel wing top and she fell in a pile of Charlie dung…….or….

    After Ann Marie went into adoration withdrawal after spending a whole week at the ranch, Marlboro Man staged an intervention. She is now resting comfortably with a butter IV ……..or…

    She spied his chaps and got such a hiney tingle that it brought her to her knees. He used the mighty length of his rope to pull her close before uttering the most romantic words she’d ever heard…”I’m rich…”

    • Barb:

      Love that last one!

    • Woohoo! That last one made me giggle!

    • Martha in Kansas:

      The last one! I’m howling.

      • Kait:

        “…I’m rich”! That is priceless. And how utterly true!

    • Marianne:

      lfmao! I love the last one!

  • Tx Toaddess:

    MM said my last meal had too much butter and his ass wiped right off!

    • Inga:


  • Nancy:

    When Marlboro Man roped in nearly two million in BLM contracts for letting horses eat their grass, why Ree’s spanx rolled up and slapped her silly. This country life was starting to agree with her.

    • Bridget:

      This was funny. As were all the other captions, but this is a good time.

  • Jennine:

    The Village People called. They want their Macho Man back.

    • I couldn’t have come up with a better one myself, so I won’t. I love it, Jennine!

    • Inga:

      Too, Too funny!

    • Kait:

      They keep gettin’ better. That is great!

  • ‘Yo Woman get own up he’ah and look at this ass’

  • Linda C:

    “For Sale” Desperate Housewife.
    Comes complete with camera, dog and holy yoga pants.
    Kitchen Aid mixer is extra.

  • theresa:

    MM goes haywire after Pesky Tim makes PW’s skirt fly up one time too many….

    (ps…do I get extra points for “haywire”? You know, since the lasso is kind of hay wired?)

    (ps…nice bokeh!!)

  • Leigh:

    Breaking News: Marlboro Man’s ass found to be as fake as Pie Near Woman’s personality.

    • Nancy:


    • Kait:

      Woo hoo! That is hilarious! And once again, oh so true.

  • Hey cowpokes, look how good my wedgie looks! Can someone get this gold digger out of the way?

  • Nancy:

    With Pie Near Woman showing signs of wantin’ to breed again, MM separated her from the herd like a wild mustang.

  • MM man to the rescue on the day that PW learned that gravity was not just silly sience.

  • that should have read “science”

  • Shelley:

    Holy yoga pants! Is that my hiney tingling or am I lactating again?!

  • Marlboro Man stopped suddenly and tightened his ass – damn that dark beer! Follow through!

  • Deanna:

    Do these chaps make my ass look big?

  • Evelyn:

    Sorry, I just couldn’t stop at one!

    The New Marlboro Man: Virile and “Ass”ertive
    Boy, This Really Chaps My Ass!
    M.M. into S & M?


  • MM yells into the house, “Kids I found her! She’s spatch-cocked in the driveway again!”

  • Heather in MT:

    Ridin’ & ropin’ without pants on make MM’s hiney tingle.

  • Heather in MT:

    Sometimes MM and the boys like to play strip ropin’. They’re just keepin’ it real.

  • km:

    That’s not a rope, it’s the trajectory of my virile emissions.

    • Now that’s some funny crap!

  • carrie:

    Marlboro Man’s ass cheeks seem to have melted away in the hot Oklahoma sun. I may as well just lie down right here and die.

  • Nancy:

    You people are FUNNY!

  • Anonymous:

    Pie Near Woman faints upon discovering MM acting out a scene from Brokeback Mountain. (The other cattleman not shown in this picture.)

  • “I’m'a lasso me a former-ballerina-fake-agoraphobe-lactation-obsessed-butter-pusher. Yessiree.”

    • Nancy:

      HeeeeheeeHAHA hooohooohahahaha!

  • “When MM donned my Yoga pants, they were so snug on his ass he didn’t need to use toilet paper anymore. Amen.”

    • Hey baby, all ya gotta do is stand over there and look good ok? That’s right honey, stretch those muscles and tighten that ass. Oh my lawds, this picture is gonna go up on one of my sites and earn us a couple thousand! Amen. Now git over here and let’s do some of that hanky panky stuff so I get a bun in the oven and start lactating.

  • Lori:

    After listening to LIbrary of Congress taping I have nothing to say except to point that after umptheen years of being a rancher’s wife, Ree cannot pronounce ‘chaps’ correctily.
    SURELY this causes Laddie boy some embarassment?

    Shhhhaps is the cowboy pronunciation.
    Chaps is a cologne by Calvin Klein, I think…..

  • LoriD:

    MM…the assless wonder! (no matter how much she asks him to tighten those chaps) Wranglers were not ment to pucker, woman!!!!

  • Chris:

    MM: “Now, you just lay still admirin’ my crotchless chaps, an’ I’ll proceed with the action-bondage. Don’t worry, I gots my rope all buttered up the way you like it, girl!”

  • Bridget:

    Ree faints from reading a negative comment that slipped pass the censors. Instead of getting to read comments singing her praises and how everyone wish they could be like her. She had to read to…OKay I can’t think of a punch line for this one, so I am going back to drawing board and maybe something will come to me. If only I was like Ree then I would be able to come up the cutest, the funniest, and/or the wittiest caption of all time. I mean that is what all the comments said and all those Reebots can’t be wrong can they? I am going to keep working on.