Pie Near Woman – Help Me Pick a Weiner!

December 11th, 2010

A.  With Pie Near Woman showing signs of wantin’ to breed again, MM separated her from the herd like a wild mustang.

Submitted by Nancy

B.  MM yells into the house, “Kids I found her! She’s spatch-cocked in the driveway again!”

Submitted by Amy F

I can’t decide which one of these captions is my favorite.  The first contender is brilliant and brings me to my knees in it’s stellar incorporation of ranching lingo.

The second one uses the word ‘spatch-cocked’ which is easily the best word I have ever heard in my life even though I had no idea what it meant until I looked it up….

1.  To split open a chicken or other fowl and grill or broil it on a spit.  Spatch-cocked can be used as a verb or a noun.  For instance you can ‘spatch-cock’ a chicken or you can just call a split open chicken a ‘spatch-cock’.  Ultimately, I guess you could spatch-cock a spatch-cock.

2.  To interpolate or sneakily insert words into a work that don’t really belong there.  Promoting your own book in the midst of a speech you are giving on somebody else’s book would be an example of ‘spatch-cocking’.

I have decided to take myself off the hook and let you, the readers decide.  For the next twenty four hours this blog IS a democracy!



  • Bobbie Thompson:

    Just thinking… What if she reads all the hate you have for her and picks up a gun and blows her head off would you feel so smug then.

  • Bobbie Thompson:

    i enjoy Rechelle,. I enjoy her book reviews,her family vacations. I just feel I needed to point out that making fun of people no matter who they are or what they are is just wrong.

    • Rechelle:

      Bobbie – I appreciate your distress. It is painful to watch people make fun of anyone whom you may highly regard. On the other hand, you probably don’t feel so badly if people are making fun of someone whom you regard as an absolute idiot. It is entirely possible that you are the rare person who never makes fun of anyone and if you are, I can understand your disappointment. Ultimately all I can say is that I view Ree Drummond as she presents herself on her blog as cartoonish, superficial, and extremely one dimensional. She’s basically a parody of herself. I just help people to see it. You see? I am helping. As to the comments on Ree’s appearance – you are right. It is immature, but she does kind of draw this poison out of people by the way she flaunts a glossy magazine version of her life.

      • Bobbie Thompson:

        touche I am Guilty. You will never here another word from me again.

      • Jill:

        as usual, you provide an articulate response to a becoming really boring issue in your comment section – defending Ree Drummond. Bobbie has a point that we not be petty in our evaluation of certain online celebrities’ appearance, as we really not need to be immature in pointing out certain physical flaws of celebrity bloggers as that is really not fair (they cannot help that). But we can make fun of the fake persona, the superficiality, the narcissism that is present daily in these celebrity bloggers posts. Many significant issues need to be addressed in our world today – poverty, education, health care, the role of a female in today’s world. These could be addressed by certain bloggers and are not. And to have a celebrity blogger, such as Ree Drummond who reaches out to thousands of women suggesting that she is teaching her girls the important things in life by learning how to bake a cake is disheartening and insulting.
        P.S. I think you would do a great job developing a K through 12 educational curriculum. It would be interactive and thought provoking.

  • Bobbie Thompson:

    You are right I see your point and I am sorry but I still think you are wrong in making fun of people. It’s what we are trying to stop in our schools and to see grown ups doing it just breaks my heart for the ones who have been brunt of many jokes. I say we should stop and think before we write or say anything about somebody.

    • Mo:

      I do appreciate your point. Comments on her personal appearance are probably rude, but are also only someone’s opinion.

      It might be helpful if you replied to the specific comments you have a problem with. (Right now you are commenting under a post that’s not on the topic you were protesting.) (And now so am I.)

      Also, you have to remember that PW has invited the entire world to see her home, her family, her life and her very own self through blogging publicly, and doing so for profit, and this opens her up to the public getting to have an opinion about her. Bullies gang up on helpless victims. PW is not a helpless victim.

      • Bobbie Thompson:

        Ganging up on somebody makes them helpless. I know when you put yourself in the Public Eye that we think we should step a little further into their lives but how far is too far?

  • Bobbie – you need to ask gREEd about how far is too far. Many of us have asked gREEd questions via her comment section but they are deleted. So, I ask you, how far is too far to ignore those who ask questions?


    • Rechelle:

      What about the posts where she touts her positive attitude? Those crack me up! She seems to think her positive attitude is some kind of triumph. Why wouldn’t she have a positive attitude? Good lord. The only obstacles that exist for her are the ones she hasn’t paid someone to take down for her. I really do think her writing reeks of a particularly potent prescription of anti-depressants. Her mind seems to be numbed and guarded as if she can’t access the deeper darker areas.

  • Bobbie – if you have an in to gREEd, please ask her not to delete negative comments from her site.

    OMG! Did gREEd post that Library of Congress Video on her site? If she did, I cannot imagine how many comments she deleted. The folks in the audience were a true audience. They were mortified!

    Do you remember when gREEd did a few videos on her blog? She never did many of them again. She knows she is awful on tape. Her voice and images are the the worst! Those are things she cannot photoshop!

    There is NOWAY this broad is getting a FOOD NETWORK SHOW!

    She had absolutely no TV presence. NOTHING!

    Oh……she is so irritating!

    Talk about styling? She has no clue.

  • Nancy:

    I’ll chime in. I don’t consider Ann Marie Drummond a helpless victim at all. She has saturated society with her image, her make believe life. Very little is based in reality, yet she claims she’s “keepin’ it real”. Now people are starting to stand up and shout that the emperor has no clothes.
    As for people picking on her appearance, she has countless blog posts about her lipstick, her hair, her clothes, her face, her hands,etc. and it all smacks of “don’t you want to look/be like me?” It’s expected that some women will stand up and say NO. Especially when it’s obvious that she’s photoshopping pics of herself to look better while she’s keepin’ it real.
    I’m also disgusted with the weekly photographs of her husband’s ass. Who does that? I am passionately in love with my husband but I would NEVER post his butt on the world wide web. Reverse it and imagine a man posting shots of his wife’s butt or boobs on the web. Creepy, huh?
    The video that garnered all of the comments was simply proof that Mrs. Drummond tells the same , tired, embellished stories over and over and can’t comfortably go off script (might lose some ad revenue!) and answer a simple question. Shades of Sarah Palin. By the way I make fun of her,too. She was presented as an author, but she said nothing of substance and certainly nothing new. Any public figure….politician, entertainer, and yes, even author and/or blogger who makes money off the masses and then doesn’t deliver, or is revealed to be less than genuine, will be ridiculed.

  • Hallie:

    Please put some jeans on poor old MM. I’m starting to feel sorry for the doll wearing chaps over his pyjama bottoms. I bet Barbie jeans would fit him just fine.

    Pie Near Woman is fair and fun satire in every respect, and worth a mighty hoot!