Hi everybody! It’s me!
Pie Near Woman!
Today, I want to talk about something very important!
More important that dating, marriage and babies…
More important than lactating, Spanx and butter!
It’s the single most important question of your life!
And that question is…
What is your personal brand?
Because nothing in the whole wide world is more important than choosing your brand.
It will follow you the whole rest of your life.
And if you do it right, people will come to love your brand and to trust your brand
And defend your brand on the internet like a pack of rabid hyenas
and to mindlessly consume your brand long after it is interesting, inspiring or even intelligible!
There is no more passionate nor more catatonic love…
Than the love of a favorite brand!
And as in most things…
I am an expert on branding.
Not only because I am simply better than most people…
But also because I am a massive consumer of the best brands myself!
I guess it takes one to know one!
The first thing you need to know when choosing your brand is…
Who are the people who are going to love your brand?
Are they conspicuously wealthy, bored out of their minds, middle aged housewives who choose to insulate
themselves from reality by creating a mental fort of womens magazines and wallpaper samples?
Are they paranoid religious right-wing conservatives who have prayed for a biblical epoch for a homeschooling
prophetess who would make it alright for their hineys to tingle once in a while?
Or better yet!
Stupid young women whose ovaries are on fire
and who can’t wait to have a baby because
My readers are all of the above.
And I have created a special place
and a special brand
where they can all come together over and over and over and over again throughout the day
and feel safe… and loved… and completely protected from that nasty, horrible place called…
What does my brand look like?
To my readers it is a big beautiful butterfly!
(Emphasis on butter!)
But to me it just looks like every other successful brand in the world…
Love Ya More’n My Luggage!
Pie Near Woman