Pie Near Woman Gets Branded!

December 13th, 2010

Hi everybody!  It’s me!

Pie Near Woman!

Today, I want to talk about something very important!

.

.

More important that dating, marriage and babies…

.

.

More important than lactating, Spanx and butter!


It’s the single most important question of your life!

And that question is…

.

What is your personal brand?

.


Because nothing in the whole wide world is more important than choosing your brand.

.


It will follow you the whole rest of your life.

And if you do it right, people will come to love your brand and to trust your brand

And defend your brand on the internet like a pack of rabid hyenas

and to mindlessly consume your brand long after it is interesting, inspiring or even intelligible!

.

Trust me.

There is no more passionate nor more catatonic love…

Than the love of a favorite brand!

.

.

And as in most things…

I am an expert on branding.

Not only because I am simply better than most people…

But also because I am a massive consumer of the best brands myself!

.


I guess it takes one to know one!

.


The first thing you need to know when choosing your brand is…

Who are the people who are going to love your brand?

.

.

Are they conspicuously wealthy, bored out of their minds, middle aged housewives who choose to insulate

themselves from reality by creating a mental fort of womens magazines and wallpaper samples?

Or…

.


Are they paranoid religious right-wing conservatives who have prayed for a biblical epoch for a homeschooling

prophetess who would make it alright for their hineys to tingle once in a while?

.


Or better yet!

Stupid young women whose ovaries are on fire

and who can’t wait to have a baby because

MORE SHOPPING!

.

.


As you may have guessed…

My readers are all of the above.

.


And I have created a special place

and a special brand

where they can all come together over and over and over and over again throughout the day

and feel safe… and loved… and completely protected from that nasty, horrible place called…

reality.

(shudder)

.

What does my brand look like?

To my readers it is a big beautiful butterfly!

(Emphasis on butter!)

But to me it just looks like every other successful brand in the world…

.


Lawsie Mercy!

.

Love Ya More’n My Luggage!

Pie Near Woman

Comments

  • Jennine:

    Law$ie mercy that i$ hy$terical!!

  • Spiderjohn:

    Rechelle, that was gooder than grits!

  • How has this not hit youtube yet? It should go viral. You must spend hours getting this just so……wonderful

  • Debbie:

    If only you knew how hard I’ve been laughing. Woman, you’ve put in quite some work but it sure paid off. Hilarious.

  • Priss:

    I don’t know how you do it, but each new episode becomes my favorite. This one is pure awesomeness.

  • Lee (sometimes known as Another Lee):

    This series started out great, and gets even greater, uh, more great each time! This one is SPOT ON! Love it!

  • I'm Rhonda, and I'm here to help:

    Brilliant. You made my day!

  • Nancy:

    Best ever! Comedy is based on truth – that’s what makes this so dang funny!

  • Valerie:

    Ha, ha… I read through your description of women that are drawn to PW’s brand and guess what, I am none of them. I’m not rich, middle-aged, nor a housewife. I’m definitely not right-winged and religious or going to homeschool my twins. The thought leaves me with a migraine. However I do believe there are some homeschoolers out there who can do it and do it for the right reasons and I don’t lump them all into crazy religious nuts who think the public school system will brainwash their kids. Believe me, if I was forced to send my kids to the city schools where I live and didn’t have enough money for private you better believe I’d consider homeschool. Not every school system has the BEST teachers. Some of them are a disgrace and shouldn’t be allowed to teach and the schools are dangerous. I am thankful with live in one city over and they have a good school system.

    Back to your reader demographic descriptions—I’m not young and I’m done having children. And I’m most definitely not protecting myself from reality. I’m quite sure I’ve been dealt with a lot of it from being raised by an alcoholic father, who got sober 18 yrs ago but then died of lung cancer quite quickly at the ripe old age of 54 to having to struggle with infertility and finally become pregnant with twins who were born 13 wks early. I happen to KNOW reality. Maybe not as much as some, but I know it.

    I read PW for her writing. To me, she’s chick lit, something to distract my attention for a couple of minutes on a break at work. And yes, I do love her contests. I honestly don’t think she lives a perfect life but I don’t begrudge her success, and hey, if she married rich than kudos to her. If in the end she’s built a family that loves each other and she has a solid marriage then so what? Good for her. Things like that don’t happen often.

    I found your blog through “MckMama Without Pity” and I rubbed my hands together in an evil way when I read you met her at the lodge and there was a whole backstory. I thought, “hmmmm, maybe there is more than meets the eye to PW.” I’m always one for two sides to every story. But upon finding your weekend description with her I was “eh, looks like you went there (left lice at her house) in hopes to find a new best friend, both you and PW weren’t feeling it and that’s it.” I did find it weird she brought out the video camera to tape political things but honestly your weekend story really didn’t have enough reason to make me believe that PW is totally fake. It seemed more like you were having a personal battle with yourself and projected that onto her. It’s funny that before and while you were there you felt you had no voice to your blog but now that you have your Pie Near woman scenarios (which I admit are very entertaining) and your atheist views you have something now, a lot of it fueled by PW.

    I’m neither for nor against you or PW (I’ll read both, it’s the Gemini in me) but I just don’t see the reason behind the hate. I just don’t. I do like reading the other stuff on your blog since I’m a fallen Catholic who’s now in the middle of her own battle with God, religion, no God, etc. but I just don’t see enough of a reason behind the hate at all. Sorry.

    (If there are any typos, sorry…had to type fast since I have to go back to work now. I also need the time to find out if I won a camera or a mixer).

    • Rechelle:

      Yeah, yeah, yeah – the gemini in you. I was going to add a demographic of ‘older woman who thinks anyone in a cowboy hat is a good person’, but I edited it out at the last minute because too bulky. PW is a terrible writer and an empty person. She is a grotesque contributor to our consumer culture. She homeshools because she’s paranoid and because it’s become a huge part of her readership. She has no depth, no soul, and she writes like a seventh grade girl lost in a Disney princess story. If that entertains you – enjoy!

      • Valerie:

        Oh but you entertain me too Rechelle. I can appreciate all forms of writing and if I choose to enter a contest of Ree’s or laugh at something she has written I will. If I choose to come over here and dive into something deeper I will. You see I can appreciate all forms of writing and see things from all different angles. If I need a little “Ree” after I’ve read a blog about a dying child than that’s how I choose to use my time. All I was saying is that I don’t see the fuel behind your hate and bitterness. All I see from your weekend with her was a two people who didn’t mesh in person. I don’t by any means judge a person’s real life by the blog they write and I do consider her a “brand.” It’s all what we choose to show the world. Until I can see some real, concrete evidence that PW has “no soul” I will continue to click on her blog. Oh and I’m not “old” either.

        • Rechelle:

          But do you believe that everyone wearing a cowboy hat is a good person?

          • Valerie:

            Not at all. Why do you think I came to your blog in the first place? I wanted to see if you had a valid “other side of the story.” So far, I haven’t seen it. If in the end it is proven that she is a vile person who has a horrible marriage, is awful to her children and a complete fame whore I will admit you’re right. From my standpoint (which I admit is limited because it only comes from reading her blog and yours) is that she got popular blogging, people enjoyed some recipes, pictures, and a light-hearted look at life and now she is brand and by being a brand she has to have some protection over her real life. I don’t think for a minute we see her real life on her blog just like I don’t think we truly see yours either.

        • Suzanna:

          Valerie,

          Well said!

          • Betsy:

            Valerie:

            Its jealousy – and now Ree has a ‘brand’ and Rechelle doesn’t maybe it should be ‘Bitter not Butter’

        • Lisa:

          Dear Valerie:
          I heart you. I want to be your best friend, 4 evah and evah. You have managed to say everything I’ve been thinking, in a totally non-confrontational, non-judgemental way. You are truly my hero.

          Rechelle, why can’t you understand that there are some of us that can read both you AND PW, but somehow, through sheer strength of will, character and intelligence, not fall under the spell of either of you? I read and enjoy both of you, but somehow, I have no desire to homeschool my kids (if I even had any at home any more), AND I have no desire to chuck all my beliefs and become an atheist.

          Can it be..GASP…that some of us…no, WAIT. MOST of us have fully functioning minds, and are fully capable of separating fact from fiction, and are able to tell when someone is exaggerating for effect? Do you really think that we’re so stupid that PW thinks that science/math/whatever is dumb/boring/unnecessary?

          Personally, I would be among the last people on earth to consider home-schooling. However, I never had to deal with my 5-year old being on a bus for 3 hours a day, so maybe I’m not in a position to judge. Speaking of not judging…maybe you should give that a try. Judging is SUCH a Christian thing, you know. I’d think you’d avoid it like the…um…plague. (Sorry…Christian reference. I’m sure you understand.)

          • Rechelle:

            Then why all the angst? Me no get.

            And the ability to seperate fact from fiction would also extend to the absurdity of ‘old man who lives in sky, made world, made people, loves us unconditionally AS LONG AS we accept his crazy ass rules, allows most people to live and die in abject misery, authors texts with bizarre rules that squelch rights, regards women as cattle and insists that slavery is okay. But I trust that your ‘fully functioning mind’ that is so full of ‘will, character and intelligence’ will eventually get around to informing the rest of you of the various inconsistencies.

            I have been to the ranch. I know how long it takes to get from her house to her town. I would say about thirty minutes tops. As you may know, since she does not work ‘outside the home’ she could easily take her kids to school herself and skip the long bus ride. They could also MOVE! Good lord! They certainly don’t have to live where they live. She homeschools because she is paranoid and because she doesn’t want to deal with an entity like a school disrupting her narcissistic, self absorbed existence. Or did you not note how she spent her time in NYC with her girls. Today Show, dining with friend while girls are with MIL, barely makes it to the show in time to see it with her girls, shops for make-up instead of spending time with her daughters shopping for a coat. And doesn’t even let her girls wander around FAO Schwartz because IT IS ALL ABOUT HER!

            PW is a mindless moron with one skill – self promotion.

          • jalf:

            “Can it be..GASP…that some of us…no, WAIT. MOST of us have fully functioning minds, and are fully capable of separating fact from fiction, and are able to tell when someone is exaggerating for effect?”

            Apparently you’ve never read the bible? Otherwise your vaunted powers of detecting “exaggeration for effect” might have been triggered once or twice.

            Never mind the “fact from fiction” part.

          • Valerie:

            Thank you, Lisa. Yes, with her style of writing I take the whole science thing as a joke. I read a lot of different blogs; some are refreshing and put a smile on my face, some make very good points that get me thinking (like most of this blog) and some are annoying to ME, and to ME only. To go as far as saying that someone has no soul is pretty harsh, especially when I can’t see from the pages on this blog a real basis for that opinion.

            Rechelle how do you know she didn’t spend time with her daughters in NY? Were you there?

            And I truly don’t give a shit about someone’s own personal belief system unless it brings harms to others. One thing I know is 100% true is NO ONE knows what happens when we die and it’s absolutely foolish for anyone to have a false sense of security to think they do know. And I think I’ll just go with that.

          • Rechelle:

            Yes Valerie. I was there. She invited me to go to ‘keep her real’. Alas, the combo of the Today Show and Bloomingdale’s make-up counter proved too hearty an opponent for me. Sorry Ree’s daughters!

          • Valerie:

            Well then please tell your readers more about the NY trip sans the sprinkling of a sugar-coated top. I’d love to read the real side of the story.

      • Bobbie Thompson:

        Didn’t like what she said so the come-back was the Queen of mean.

        • Debbie:

          Did it ever occur to you that you would not be having this discussion on PW’s site? Try and leave some of the negative comments you leave here on her site. I assure you, they will be gone in a matter of seconds. Think of Rechelle what you want, but she’s honest, not afraid to speak her mind and not afraid to publish even negative comments.

          Makes me wonder why you still come here and comment constantly, Bobbie.

          Enjoy your bubble.

        • Meme:

          Quote from Bobbie Thompson: “touche I am Guilty. You will never here another word from me again “. What happened? You’re still coming back? Do you like us?

          • Nancy:

            Meme, you took the words right out of my mouth.

        • Lisa:

          @jalf…
          That…just…made no sense whatsoever. I have no earthly idea what you were trying to say.

        • Lisa:

          @ Rechelle:
          Quick question….do you regard your mother, father and sister as blithering idiots? Because unless I missed an earth-shattering post on either your or your sister’s blogs, they still very much believe in God.

          Are they excused from the brand of idiocy because you love them?

          • Rechelle:

            Dear Lisa,

            Everyone is a blithering idiot about something. It does not preclude one’s ability to love them.

      • Nancy:

        Yeah, the dirty letters to Penthouse have a huge readership as well. Doesn’t make it quality writing.

        • Lisa:

          Hey! I LOVE the letters to Penthouse! I learned almost everything I know from them. Oddly enough, my husband loves them, too. ;-)

          • Nancy:

            And there it is.

          • Nancy:

            Good for you, Lisa. But once again, you’ve missed the point. Although you may enjoy them, they are not well written. It’s like comparing “Debbie Does Dallas” ( I know, you like that too!) to “Gone With the Wind” . One is crap and one is a masterpiece. Some people just have higher standards and prefer not to fill their minds and lives with crap.

          • Lisa:

            Oh, Nancy. Honey. I’ve missed no points.

            One does not go to Penhouse Forum for great writing, no more than one goes to PW for great writing. We go for entertainment, escapism, and recipes. Well…I admit the Forum is not so big on the recipes, but surely you get *my* point?

          • Lisa:

            Dammit, I HATE when I misspell words. And I even proofed that! Should be “Penthouse.” Gah.

          • Nancy:

            I didn’t make it past “honey”.

  • NCme:

    Keep’em coming Rechelle!

    Btw, have you heard from PNW about your wonderful theater? This guy posted an email from her on his site, priceless!

    http://absenteedaddy.com/2010/12/12/advice-column-break-special-report-the-pioneer-woman-just-emailed-me/

    Not sure if you’ve seen it yet.

    • Rechelle:

      Oh my! He is hilarious!

      • Wow!!! PNW speaks off script? I don’t think her hiney was tingling in a good way. She sounded so 5th grade. My blog’s better than your blog? That was hysterical!

      • Rechelle – Another Monday morning starts off with raucous laughter. Just hysterical. There is so many levels of entertainment I must go back and read it again.

        Cat

    • Megan:

      Now THAT seems like it might be the “real” Pioneer Woman! Exactly as suspected, a pompous asshole.

      • What amazes me is her narcissism. Readership does not translate into being a better writer. I suppose she did say blogger, but I would still argue that thousands of readers inculcated in her insipid blog postings does not necessarily translate to being a better blogger.
        I keep watching the video from the National Book Festival (or whatever the hell it is called) and cannot believe that there are so many women that find her interesting. Her jokes are not jokes. She cannot answer a question without rambling on and on about the inception and evolution of her FUCKING BORING blog. Her thinly veiled self promotion (oh I am going to be on the Today show, but do watch because I dyed my hair). God, enough you fucking idiot. We get that you are in love with yourself.
        What pisses me off the most is the constant unoriginal pat answers of her followership when anyone has anything remotely negative to say about her. WE ARE NOT JEALOUS. We do NOT want to be Ree FUCKING Drummond. I would surmise most of us are very happy with our lives and could give two shits if we are or are not millionaires. We just want to immerse ourselves in the real lives of real fucking people out there in the world that is increasingly becoming smaller through the internet. the opportunity to meet some really interesting people through blogging and be challenged to thing beyond our social, cultural, and personal boundaries. We will never get that with Ree Drummond; Fucking AMEN. Help me Rhonda, I need to get a drink.

        • Yes, so I was a bit pissed when I was writing, thus the typos. To clarify – Do not watch the Today’s show because I just dyed my hair – what-the-fuck-ever.
          And challenged to think – not thing. As I do not believe you can thing. But you can THINK. Something her sheeples seemingly cannot do.
          I really do not know why I spend so much time on this futile endeavor as I have a dissertation to write. Procrastination maybe???
          Lastly, Rechelle,
          You absolutely rock. I do not always comment, but I read every one of your posts, not once, but often 2 or 3 times. Because you make me fucking think about things. And challenge my worldview. And I really, really appreciate that.
          P.S. You are also one of the funniest people I have ever read. You could challenge David Sedaris to a Satire Throwdown any day and come out the winner!!!

    • Lisa:

      That is such total and complete bullshit. If she has not responded to Rechelle, someone she offered her hospitality to (and was rewarded with head lice and stolen sheets), why would she respond to this worm?

      I am certainly no Ree-ophite, but I know a bid for attention and controversy when I see one. If there’s one thing that’s for certain about PW, it’s that she avoids confrontation and controversy at all costs.

  • Jan:

    Your PNW series is priceless. Keep it up. I read her email to the absenteedaddy and I think her real personality started to show. She seems to think she’s all that and a bag of chips too. I don’t care about her money. She can have all she wants but, please….we live on a farm and it’s obvious she has never lived in the real world of budgets and bills. Is she even aware of the state of the economy?
    Your PNW series should be made into a book , maybe along the line of the Maxine books, or some type of comic strip. You have a real talent. How about a PNW on giving away those overpriced designer clothes from her closet?

    • NCme:

      lol, Jan, I’d like to see something along the lines of that done in puppet theater as well! If absenteedaddy wasn’t worth her time and “a fly buzzing around her ranch” why in the world would she take time out of her amazing NYC trip to write a response? I’m glad she did though. That email was the most entertaining thing I’ve seen PW write-ever.

      • Oh, yes! A funny little book and/or stop motion puppet theater. You do have a filmmaker in-house!

  • Sue:

    Hilarious. I hope that tutu is washable.

    • Rechelle:

      The tutu is permanently scarred. Singed in a jello gas fire and further melted in a Barbie campfire. But PNW will soldier on. She is tougher than she looks.

      • Bridget:

        I can’t believe that you are encouraging roping, wrangling, and branding barbie dolls. Oh the horror.

  • Lgirl:

    Pie Near Woman Wears Granny panties… Hee HEee

  • the editor:

    Props for the bored middle-aged housewives! Conspicuous or not. An undervalued and highly underrated demographic. Every once in a while insulation is a good thing.

  • Bridget:

    This is perfection. I have been waiting for you to make fun of the comments on her site and how she just shills a bunch of bullshit to people, but you did it in a totally unexpected way. Damn you are creative and funny. It must come from all the reading you do.

  • Kay in KCMO:

    Damn funny – another masterpiece!

  • NANCY H:

    Brilliant !

  • Funny as always!

    Only problem is I’m a young woman who has a master’s degree but my ovaries are not burning to reproduce. Although I do love me some shopping, I’m way to poor (darn student loans). What do you think PNW would suggest?

  • V:

    I think it’s funny that you only post the positive comments. All I can say is… this is a new low for you

    • Obviously, you haven’t read all the comments here. They are not all positive, as the usual gREEd sheeple have popped up with the typical “you’re so mean!, you’re jealous, you’re bitter, you’re gonna burn in hell!!” comments. But. If you were on PW’s site, all you would ever see is the positive, ‘OMG you are SO AWESOME, you are my BFF, Ree!!’ comments, because her blog monkeys delete any slight bit of negativity. Because you know, she’s “keeping it real” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know-what-I-mean?).

      • V:

        Well, Kelley… i have posted on this blog before quite a few times and my comments weren’t even that negative, just constructive but… Rachelle, instead of “keeping it real” as she claims to do and responding, deleted every single one of them!

  • annmarie:

    Wait, I feel really dumb right now…I thought the response from PW on absenteedaddy was just a joke – I thought he wrote it as a joke, to be funny. Are people believing that she wrote that?? Did she write that? I am confused. Anyway, this post here was quite amusing, as always. PW is dangerous because I feel as though there are women who read her and really believe this is real life and they end up feeling bad about themselves by buying into the nonsense, sort of like when we look at fashion mags and believe all those women are that flawless in person and then we feel bad about our own imperfections. I don’t dislike her because she is married to a rich rancher with a flat ass, I dislike her because she pretends she is so REAL, gosh and gollies and gee wizzakers. It’s so gross. I am glad you mentioned the whole hiney tingle thing. This one really made me cringe when I saw her say it …and then say it again and again and again. Yuck. Remeber when she had that short lived advice section. I think you should do a satire on that – Pie Near Woman advice column. Someone asked her in it if she ever gets upset or mad or flustered and she actually had the balls to say NO! That she was just born that way, that she can’t help but not ever get too upset about anything, she just goes with the flow and is so laid back. And then she goes and stay in five star hotels and re-does a HUGE house with only the finest material, but yes, she is really a go with the flow kind of gal, isn’t she?

    • Rechelle:

      I am trying to figure out if she actually wrote it. For one – it is very well written, demonstrating an ability to scrape a soul right out of a body with multiple well constructed body blows and I generally think Ree is too medicated for this type of parlay. But maybe she went off her meds for the holidays? On the other hand he did post the ‘email details’ to make it seem legit. On the OTHER hand – why would Ree even respond to him? I can see that she might be more interested in hearing from and responding to a male reader than a female reader because ego stoking, but I still find it hard to believe that she could write three entire paragraphs and never mention butter or Spanx one time.

      • I wish you had a “Like” button for comments!

      • Barb:

        I thought it was a joke also but there is a follow-up after the above entry, if you go back to his page. I know nothing about this guy but am assuming, after reading his follow-up, that she really did send the e-mail.

  • Annmarie, I don’t believe for a minute that she wrote that email to him.

  • Meme:

    Ms. “I have a million followers” has a chicken and dumpling receipe that looks very unappealing to me. Just read a few replys from her adoring public. Why in the world would grown women say “I love you Ree” over a C&D recipe and want to be her BFF?

  • Kathy:

    I don’t know if I missed a step, but it was never very clear (to me) why PW wrote that email to absenteedaddy. What provoked her response? And, if she can’t even get her contest weiners up on time, how would she find time to respond to this email while in NYC? I must agree with Loopy that I really doubt that she would tarnish her image in this manner. If you take a deep dive into absenteedaddy’s site, he is, shall we say, quite unusual. I do not like the PW’s site as I find her boring, lacking any type of talent, and very artificia,l but I can’t believe for one minute she is would be so foolish as to make such a statement.

    • Kait:

      I looked at the site was well. Did not the email “from” pw say that he had issued her a blog-off challenge via Facebook & Twitter? That is how I read it anyway. And the “my blog is better than you blog” response was her answer.

  • I am waiting to see what happens to her kids. PW said in the LBOCongress video that her older kids want to read her blog.

    Her kids are going to find out a lot about gREEd. How many kids want to look like aliens?

    When these kids start looking at gREEd’s blog they will most likely be pissed.

    You can only keep the home schoolers on the ranch for so long.

    Pretty soon the only thing they have is the internet and hormones.

    I am waiting to see how these kids get a life other than their Mom’s blog!

    • You know who I have often wondered about re: the Ree family reading her stupid blog. Her brother Mike. She calls him retarded frequently and writes stories that essentially are making fun of him. Does he read this? What do her parents think, as they obviously read it. She used to criticize her BIL – thinly veiled often. Did he agree to her posting stories about him, in which he was portrayed in a negative light? and when her daughters do read, what do they think about how she portrays her family? She apparently will do anything for a laugh and use anyone for a story.

      So all PW Reebots who continue with your same fucking boring story that people are jealous, look closer at many of her posts and how she treats her family. Why in the fuck would I be jealous of a women who does not seemingly respect her family, is not articulate, flaunts expensive gadgets, clothes, materials for a remodel, expensive trips and I could go on and on. So Suzanna, V, Betsey (are you by chance Ree’s sister?) – come up with something a little more original if you are going to post on any blog that is critically reviewing the Pioneer Woman.

      • When I did read her stories about her brother, I often found them offensive. I found myself thinking she is one of those people who thinks just because she has a mentally challenged sibling it is ok for her to poke fun and humiliate. And she calls him her pesky BIL. That’s crappy.

        • Nancy:

          Man, that bugs me too! I have a problem with the way that she finds it amusing to goad her disabled brother until he is so frustrated that he’s sputtering and fuming. How is that nice? She enjoys talking circles around him until he’s angry and hangs up on her. Gee, where’s Bobbie and the bully patrol now?

          This morning she posted pics of a stray cat that she fed and her readers are gushing posts like “You are such an awesome person for feeding that kitty!” Oh.my.gawd.

          • I think it’s deplorable the way she talks about her brother Mike. Granted, I don’t have a sibling who has Down’s Syndrome, so I don’t know how I would have reacted growing up. But I do know that if I had ever called anyone ‘retarded’ family member or otherwise, my mother would have whacked me good. I think the way she talks about most family members is condescending and disREEspectful (see what I did there?). She gives me no reason to be jealous of her, bitter about her success or her holey yoga pants, her spanx or her flowy tops. She’s a spoiled rich girl with a cowboy fairytale she’s selling, that’s all she is.

          • Kait:

            Hey Nancy you are so right about how she treats her brother. You have noticed have you not that she has an older brother as well. Notice how he is conspicuously absent from the old blog, except for the one high school wrestling picture? Seems somone in her family is smart enough to say “no thanks”.

            Oh and Kelly. I don’t think that Mike has Down’s Syndrome. If he did I am sure she would have mentioned that. Besides, he doesn’t have the regular features of someone Down’s.
            I think she only mentions him to make her seem more down to earth. Just like all her “if happened to me” stories.

          • i found ree’s blog a very long time ago because of one of her post’s about mike. at the time she had a small readership and referred to mike as “retarded.” she seems to have stopped doing that, i assume because she recieved criticism. i have a child with down syndrome and while, at times, i thought she seemed to delight in mike i was bothered by her use of the term and the way as someone mentioned she seemed to enjoy getting him flustered.

            and for the record, mike does not have down syndrome, an extra 21st chromosome. he has a deleted chomosome, not sure which one.

            and, rechelle, i am one of those that found you when you visited the ranch. i can’t remember the last time i read pw (probably after i met her more than a year ago) but i check in with you regularly. thanks for the laughs.

  • annmarie:

    It occurred to me last night that maybe it’s MM who wrote that email. Rechelle you met him, what do you think? I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem like her “sunshine up your ass” kind of writing and he is always lurking and looking menacing and you know he would come to her defense, being a big strong macho man and all. One time I even worried that he may do something to you. He seems like he has a litle bit of nutjob in him.

    • Rechelle:

      It’s another interesting possibility…

  • Ladd:

    I love this blog and its comments. It is truly thought provoking and funny at the same time.

    • Lisa:

      Oh, how I hope this is the *real* Ladd. Talk about a Christmas wish coming true…

      Just on the off-chance it is….kudos to YOU, my friend, and your talented wife, for not taking the bait and getting down in the gutter with the jealous and lice-ridden.

  • Brianv.:

    Hilarious play, Rechelle… I love your doll work. I think your blog work is I do believe that organized education might well be almost as toxic as organized religion. You seem to unquestioningly reject so-called home-schooling but I can tell you that your boys would benefit far more from learning in your presence, with your encouragement/support than in any school I have attended/known. My wife and I unschool my kids. They are always learning. I resisted abandoning school in the beginning but over the years have come to see that children are always learning and always curious to further their knowledge in all things… we hold them back, church and school them. Please glance here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwIyy1Fi-4Q
    and keep on keepin’ on!

    • Brianv.:

      I think your blog work IS and it is wonderful too…. little typo there…

  • Can I just say that the slightly manic smile on Lucy/Barbie (Lubie?) is more than a little disturbing?

  • LDC:

    Pie o near woman must be teaching her girl’s all about Cartier and Tiffany’s
    To quote her:
    I’ll be balancing my magazine stuff with telling my girls no, they can not have another five dollars to go buy something they can only get in New York.

    How many times do you think I’ve already heard that, and we’ve only been here two hours?
    “But Mama, they don’t have Cartier on the ranch!”

    CAN YOU PURCHASE ANYTHING AT CARTIER FOR $5 ?

    I DON’T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • gREEd wants to keep her kids on the ranch! Good luck with that honey! Who wants to wake up at 5am and help Daddy? Charlie even knows better than that!

  • Susan:

    Your continual hate writing about PW shows your jealousy.

  • Susan…

    Jealousy? Tell us more! I am thrilled to hear about how I am jealous! Or how anyone on this blog is jealous. Please, do tell~

    Susan?

  • Bridget:

    It would have been so nice to see the Pioneer Woman do the same thing that cake wrecks did this year and last year were they promoted a different charity for the two weeks leading up towards Christmas. gREEd with all of her millions of followers could have made a huge difference by doing this, but instead her home & garden section is littered with crappy gift suggestions. Why not suggest a few charities that are near and dear to her and say, hey try giving a little this year instead of buying or getting stuff. She has every right to do whatever she wants with her blog and there are other blogs out there that aren’t promoting giving. There are too few out that are doing anything and I just wish that some of the bigger blogs would follow cake wrecks lead or even that of regresty who raises funds and gets crafters to donate items to charities year round. gREEd is all about giving back gifts to the chosen few— urr I am mean the randomly selected readers.

    Who knows what Ree does behind the scenes, but she isn’t giving much back on the public side of her blog. She is just one such example and it is a bit disheartening.

    • Rechelle:

      Yes, as an (ahem) fast becoming expert on barbie posing I find this photo to be quite nice and highly imaginative, if lacking in a bit of dare I say ‘campfire’. But I did pause to wonder – where are the arms?

      • Look in the soup pot. He’s waving bye bye.

  • taylor5622:

    Keep up the great work Rechelle. It’s about time someone exposes PW for what she really is: a huge fraud. Years ago, two books ousted Martha Stewart and her carefully managed image. Like Martha, Ree tries to come off with all this phony “wholesome American family” attitude. Anyone with a functioning cerebellum can see right through it.

    And those who don’t are the ones lining her bank accounts. They’ll be the ones too who’ll flock in droves to the crappy Sony-produced movie. Cannot even fathom how Sony could be so desperate for movie material they would invest multi-millions in this PW nonsense.

    And for those who claim Rechelle is bullying Ree: get over yourselves already. How do you bully the daughter of a wealthy physician who graduated from USC and married a multi-millionaire rancher? Your rants are misdirected. In fact, Ree’s a bully who scams her readers day in and day out and is being compensated handsomely for doing so.

    Keeping it real.

  • Another award winner! You crack me up!! Keep up the fabulous pictorials!

  • I know I shouldn’t laugh at this, but the pictures are so funny. I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t buy into all the hype.