Seedy Hotels, Serial Killers and a Hypnotist Named Mitch

October 27th, 2010

Dear Charles,

I got this e-mail today…

Dear Rechelle,

I am practicing hypnotism. I know it is weird but would you
like to try getting hypnotized again so I could practice? I know it’s weird having a random guy message you about this. But if you want to try let me know.


So Charles, since you are the advice columnist on my blog, I thought maybe you could help me decide what to do about this letter.  Here are my concerns…

1.  Should I reply to this email?
2.  If I reply to this email – what should I say?
3.  For instance – should I consider allowing a total stranger who contacts me through email to hypnotize me and thereby suggest a meeting?
4.  Or should I send a reply that places considerable distance between myself and the idea of getting hypnotized by a total stranger that contacted me through an e-mail?
5.  Do you think that this guy ‘Mitch’ is possibly a serial killer?
6.  I have heard that serial killers have the most magnetic personalities.
7.  I have heard that politicians have the second most magnetic personalities.
8.  This email is not exactly magnetic nor political.
9.  What would you do Charles?

Looking forward to your coverage of ‘The March To Keep Fear Alive’.

Mediocre dinner at best,




Dear Rechelle –

This is indeed a difficult dilemma: whether or not to pass up a potentially interesting and almost certainly bloggable experience on the off chance that your prospective hypnotist might be a serial killer, a politician, or worse. First, let’s determine how potentially interesting it might be. How interesting do you find hypnosis? Do you fall asleep at night thinking “The hypnotized life is the life for me! If I ever got hypnotized, there’d be no stopping me! I’d be gorging myself on imaginary ice cream right now if I were only hypnotized. Oh my god! My eyelids are getting heavy; could this be the start of something wonderful?”? Or do you find those thoughts too exciting to fall asleep to? If you answered “yes” to either of these last two questions, it might be worth your while to investigate this opportunity to turn those scrawny dreams into brawny reality.

If you choose to reply in the affirmative, you might say something like “Dear Mitch, Your letter displays a commendable awareness of the weirdness of your proposition, and from that and the fact that your name is Mitch I infer that you’re a man or boy with both feet on the ground. Such groundedness certainly inspires confidence in your hypnotic abilities. I think I’ll take you up on your generous offer.”

If you’re not really too interested in exploring hypnosis and/or are at all creeped out by the prospect of putting yourself in the hands of a complete stranger who may be hungering for control of your mind, you’ll probably want to reply as follows: “Sir, I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but your proposition is weird. I’ll thank you not to contact me again. P.S. Thanks in advance for not contacting me again.”

If you do decide to let Mitch practice his hypnosis skills on you, you should avoid being alone with him in a nonpublic place for the first ten sessions or until he becomes a trusted family friend, whichever comes first. If he suggests meeting in a seedy motel room, insist upon meeting instead in the courtyard of the seedy motel and only during periods when the police are dragging the pool. Better yet, bring an entourage with you. Your entourage should include the Country Doctor, since you and he obviously make a challenging hypnosis team, as well as a more easily hypnotized person to sit between the two of you to keep you from distracting each other and to keep Mitch from getting too discouraged about his hypnotic powers. Round out the group with a photographer, and you’re ready to roll.

Mitch may well be a serial killer (the theory about serial killers having the most magnetic personalities was debunked long ago, but the myth has been perpetuated by all the TV shows and movies featuring glamorous, witty, and debonair serial killers), but if he is, he wouldn’t dare to harm you with your entourage present or with the cops dragging the pool only a few feet away. Unless he’s really, really demented.

As for what I’d do, I’d probably go for it. I’ve always wanted to be hypnotized.

May tonight’s meal be spectacular at worst,



  • Fl Liz:

    Charles, I think your advice is sound. However, I just can’t past one word in Mitch’s email that nobody else has addressed: ” Again”, as in his writing: …would you
    like to try getting hypnotized again…

    Has Mitch, perhaps known by another name, previously hypnotized Rechelle? Has Rechelle been hypnotized before, but not by Mitch? Have I missed something here?

  • Rechelle:

    FL Liz – I recently tried to get hypnotized at the KC Renaissance Festival. Sadly, it didn’t take. Mitch must have learned of my failed atttempt via this post…

    • FL Liz:

      Well then, after reading the handy link you supplied, I do feel much less confused and alarmed by Mitch’s solicitation. That picture of everyone but you and the CD all hunched over is hilarious. Good post – thanks for catching me up.

    • jalf:

      Shame you made that post. I can’t help thinking it would be far more amazing if you just received random unprovoked email offers for hypnotization. ;)

  • Kay in KCMO:

    “The hypnotized life is the life for me!” should be embroidered on a pillow.