Jack the Contrarian, Susie the Chimp, And Then We Got Hypnotized

October 14th, 2010

I have been trying to write a post about a debate I attended last week on Intelligent Design vs. Evolution featuring Michael Shermer and William Dembski, but I am having a hard time ‘fuckusing’. Please – if you don’t know why I just said ‘fuckusing’ it is not because I am a potty mouth, it’s because I am deranged… and a potty mouth. Actually I am not really a potty mouth, I am more of a loud mouth that occasionally chooses a colorful word just to make myself feel more alive, but I don’t make a habit of it. And in truth – I am not really a loud mouth either. Though sometimes I am loud, but it’s usually because I am just trying to speak over the ear puncturing lung capacity of my third child Drew. That kid has VOLUME!  Did you know that Drew is named after Nancy Drew? Yes, he is.  Nancy is and always will be my one true hero.

Speaking of names, last night I went to a middle school band concert and I saw a woman I sort of know who had recently given birth. We chatted for a bit and I got to hold the baby and then she told me that she named her baby after a person in the bible.  Then she went on to tell me why she named her baby after this person and I can’t be totally certain, but I think I might have fallen victim to the age old scheme of  ‘baby name witnessing for Jesus’.  It made me wonder how many times throughout his life that kid is going to have to listen to his mom use his name as a springboard to evangelize. I also wondered how many souls she is going to save just by telling the story behind her son’s name. She didn’t save mine, but my soul is a hard, blackened cinder and also… I am kind of a hard sell.

Speaking of babies…

I went on a field trip with Jack’s class to the Manhattan, Kansas zoo last week.  We saw a 56 year old chimpanzee mother who gave birth this summer to a healthy baby girl (chimp).  Did I mention that she was 56 years old?!?  In the wild, chimps only live to about 40.  Did I tell you that her last birth occurred 22 YEARS ago.  The father of the new baby chimp is twenty five years younger than his baby momma and her pregnancy was not even discovered until one month from her due date!

So this lady chimp is FIFTY SIX YEARS OLD and SHE BARELY EVEN LOOKED PREGNANT!

The zoo staff had taken the mother chimp off of birth control a few years ago for health reasons.  They were confident that she was too old to have any more babies.  Turns out they were wrong!  Susie is the oldest mother chimp known to have given birth.  Her daughter is lively and spends her days swinging on a rope right over her mother’s head.  It was really fun to watch them.

One of the activities the kids participated in involved identifying animals by the things that uh… drop off (or out) of them.

In this photo the boys are trying to decide if the fur and the uh… droppings belong to a camel or a lion.

Jack said camel

The other two boys in his group said lion.

Jack said, “no -  it’s a camel”.

The other two boys said lion.

Jack said, “I am not going to go with you guys.  I think it is a camel.”

Everyone in my family is a contrarian.

Everyone.

Even the baby.

Speaking of contrarians…

While we were at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival last weekend, we fell under the spell of a hypnotist.

He invited anyone who wanted to try it out to come up on stage.

So the Country Doctor and I gave it a try.

We weren’t allowed to sit by each other as the hypnotist said we would distract each other.

You can see the lady to my right (your left) is pretty relaxed.

You can also see that the CD and I are the most upright (or is that uptight?) on the stage.

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The lady beside me however was extremely hypnotized.  So was the guy in the blue ball cap, but he ‘came to’ and got nervous and left the stage.  The hypnotist however got the woman beside me to eat an imaginary ice-cream cone and she licked her hands when the hypnotist told her that the ice cream was melting all over her.  Later, when we were finished he made a particular statement and right on cue she stood up and yelled, “Somebody stole my purse!”  And then she got this scared, blank look on her face like “Why did I say that?”

I always thought that I would be easily hypnotized. I have a tendency to day dream and I love to stare off into space.  Evidently these thing are not pre-cursors to being hypnotized.

The Country Doctor said, “Rechelle – you are the least hypnotizable person I know!”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because you don’t do anything that ANYONE ever tells you to do!”

Which is of course, a bit of an exaggeration.

But just a bit.

Comments

  • susan:

    What a blast…..

  • Laughing out loud…
    Seriously not sure if you should focus on a career in writing or stand-up. Stinkin’ hillarious. :)

  • I want to read about the damned debate! Hurry up and FUCKUS! EFH

  • Michelle Z.:

    What did the hypnotist make you do?

    • Rechelle:

      Well he spent most of his time trying to get us into a hypnotic state. Relaxing, deeper, deeper, deeper – etc. Then he noted who seemed to be in the state he desired and at that point he focused his time on them. He only really had time for the ice cream trick.

  • Oh good lord do you make me laugh. My office mates seriously think I’ve lost it.

    So…was is a camel or a lion?!?

    • IT. Was IT a camel or lion?

      *sigh* Is it Friday yet?

    • Rechelle:

      It was a camel.

      • Atta boy Jack! Way to stick to your guns!

        (See? It pays to be a contrarian. Especially when you’re RIGHT.)

  • Joy:

    That’s so hilarious! Maybe that girl’s socks kept you both alert!

  • sandy:

    Too funny. Several years ago I helped a friend study for a big test we were taking in grad school. As a thank you, she gave me a gift certificate to a local hypnotist. It sits in my underwear drawer waiting for me to use it. It’s older than my underwear which is really, really old. I am a control freak and afraid to use it. Any advice for me?

  • Spinny:

    I don’t think my brain would turn off enough to be hypnotized. I don’t like the feeling of not being in control.

  • Martha in Kansas:

    OK, first, the Manhattan zoo does not have a lion, does it? So it had to be the camel. A good friend of mine used to live on the hill very near the zoo and I would tell people she could hear the lions roar. She’d correct me and say they don’t have lions — only tigers (maybe one tiger). (And for me that’s a bit close to the zoo. Things would escape now and then.) So Go Jack! Way to use your brain!

    They call animal poop “scat”, don’t they? Sounds not so stinky.

    I love the picture of everyone slumped but the two of you. Was it hard to not laugh? Did you get a little hypnotized? I’ve always wondered what it would feel like, but I assume I’d start snickering and ruin it. My internal voice snickers at nearly everything, and it’s getting worse with age.

    • Rechelle:

      I don[t remember seeing a lion – but that doesn’t really mean much.