The Haunted Oven

September 15th, 2010

On Friday night, I decided to make some homemade pizza with some fabulous fresh produce from my garden. I gathered some sweet red bell peppers, some tomatoes, one of the last remaining onions from own onion patch and a fist full of fresh herbs. I was totally pumped to use my own frozen tomato sauce from last year. I even had fresh mozzarella on hand! This was going to be a great pizza!


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I poured some olive oil in a pan and sauteed some onion, herbs and garlic.  I chopped up tomatoes, olives, and peppers.  I fried some sausage and got out a bag of pepperonis.

The boys gathered around the stove like hungry birds snatching at pepperonis and black olives, but I shooed them away and added the tomato sauce to my sauteed herbs and a bit of honey as I like a slightly sweet pizza sauce.

Then I started on the pizza dough. I mixed up a simple batch from a store bought package and set it in a warm spot to raise a little and then I turned on my oven.

The oven heated for a few minutes and then it turned itself off.

I turned it back on and it heated for a few minutes and then turned itself back off.

I turned it back on.

It turned itself back off.

I went downstairs and flipped the breaker and turned the oven back on.

It heated for about three minutes and then turned itself back off.

I tried using the ‘rapid pre-heat’ button.

Turned itself off.

I tried using the convect button.

Turned itself off.

I tried standing on my head, doing cartwheels, muttering curses, shaking my fist.

Turned itself off.

I looked at my bubbling pizza sauce perking away on the gas burner, the rising dough on the counter top, the garden fresh ingredients all chopped and ready to be sprinkled on top and then I slowly and very morosely put it all away.

And we had sandwiches for dinner.

Blech!

The next day I tried the oven again.

It worked beautifully.

I made my pizza and it was AWESOME!

Even better with a day for that sauce to meld and the dough to rise.

As soon as I was done using the oven, the interior light started flashing on and off for I am not kidding you – TWENTY MINUTES!

The oven light blinked on and off, on and off, on and off.

On and off, on and off, on and off…

On and off, on and off, on and off…

The boys gathered around the stove and we all just stared at my oven as it flashed over and over again, beeping each time it blinked off or on.

Then it stopped.

And now it is back to only heating up for a few minutes and then turning itself off again.

I called a repairman.

Him – What is wrong with your oven?

Me – It’s haunted.

Him – What?

Me – My oven is haunted.

Him – Can you describe the problem?

Me – It turns itself off after heating for only a few minutes.  Lights flash when no one is touching the buttons.  Sometimes it works just fine and other times it is clearly trying to scare the hell out of me.

He can’t fix it until Monday.  Until then I am stuck with a ghost in my oven.

A roast ghost.

On a piece of toast.

That’s how I like my ghost the most.

Sorry about that rhyme, but it seemed like a good way to end this horror story.

Comments

  • Maybe P-Dub Diddy-widdy is controlling your oven from OK! You didn’t photograph every. single. step. of your pizza did you? And you didn’t photoshop the living daylights out the pictures you did take, did you? I bet that’s what’s going on!

  • Sharon:

    Do you have a least one photo of the finished product? I haven’t pizza in months.

  • LucyJoy:

    You need the TAPS crew to come investigate! Grant. Tango. Purrrr!

  • Kait:

    OMG! Just like Poltergeist. Remember, the kitchen chairs were the first to move…
    What did you say was on that patch of ground before you built your house on it??

  • Your oven cannot be haunted b/c ghosts are not real. Instead, your oven is possessed by demons working under Satan’s control.

    Clearly my explanation is much more plausible ;)

  • inga:

    How spooky! My microwave did that and then quit altogether never to work again. The steam did it. Too much steam from canning all my lovely summer garden produce. The microwave was/is above the stove. We just happened to have a spare microwave in our shop and I was fixed up in no time. Thank goodness I am married to a fix it guy!!!

    Inga

  • In our house that would be an excuse to throw the pizza on the grill. Something I always intend to do, but seem to forget amidst the chorus of “is it ready yeeet?!?” and ” I’m huuuuunnnngggrrrryyy!”

    Here’s hoping it’s an easy quick fix…unless you’re hoping to upgrade. : )

    • kathy:

      I’m with you. Pizza on the grill is awesome and easy. It always tastes better than the oven. Try it Rechelle! you and your guys will love it!

  • Sherry:

    I had similar issues with my oven, and I unplugged it (it’s a gas oven with electronic ignition) and left it unplugged overnight. It’s been fine since I plugged it back in.

    Just a thought.

  • sandy:

    I’m with Shelley.

  • Michelle Z.:

    Ghosts and demons do not exist.

    Aliens, however, do.

    Unplug your stove and put on your aluminum foil-brainwave diffusing-hats.

    • Michelle Z.:

      Do you know morse code? I think the aliens are trying to tell you something through the oven light in morse code.

  • Kay in KCMO:

    Well, it’s Monday. Did the oven get fixed? What was wrong?