Doomsday Scenarios and My Version of PW’s Awesome Blog Tips! (Of course, it’s nowhere near as awesome as hers!)

September 9th, 2010

Mike and Liz came out for Labor Day weekend.  It was really good to see them.  They have been our friends ever since the CD was in medical school and they have never been religious.  I used to worry about them when I was a Christian.  I would occasionally pray that God would get a hold of their lives, but it was usually a half hearted prayer.  I liked Mike and Liz they way they were and I didn’t think that religion would make them better. They are both curious as to why I changed my mind about religion and we have had some great conversations, but neither of them end up in tears, or angry or tell me that it is an inappropriate topic to discuss or that I am crazy or deeply unhappy or scarily mistaken.  They are simply curious.  And then we go back to talking about our kids or good food or the state of the world or how to lance the caldera at Yellowstone before it blows us all to smithereens.

Speaking of the caldera at Yellowstone – did you know that ‘caldera’ is just a fancy word for massive volcano?  A few weeks ago, when I was all hepped up about telling my extraordinarily fascinating Yellowstone vacation story, I started reading about the Yellowstone caldera so as to have a few pertinent factoids to accompany my post and that’s how I learned that the Yellowstone caldera could explode at any moment and if it does, the heartland of the US is doomed.  Here are your Yellowstone Caldera explosion survival options if you live in middle America…

1.  If you live within a 50 mile radius of the park you will instantly explode.

2.  If you don’t instantly explode, you will die by inhaling burning gas that will cook you quickly and very painfully from the inside out.

3.  If you don’t get cooked from the inside out, you will inhale glass particles that will cause you to hemorrhage internally and die.

4.  If you don’t die from tiny glass fragments cutting your insides to bits, you will die from starvation as the massive cloud of ash (comprised of tiny bits of glass) will cover most of the middle of the US, resulting in an ice age that will cause crops to fail on a catastrophic scale.

It was kind of hard to return to a lighthearted account of my vacation in Yellowstone once I realized that I might be doomed to die at best by exploding and at worst by slowly starving.  Then I started to read about global warming and how if we don’t die in an ice age caused by a volcano in Yellowstone,  we are going to die in a drought caused by global warming.  Then my bank sent me a letter explaining that I needed to give them permission to charge my ATM card when I no longer had funds available in my account.  Evidently the government created a new law that prohibits banks from allowing people to continue to use their ATM cards when they have no funds available unless the customer has specifically requested that the card continue to be charged. What this means is that banks can no longer collect overdraft fees on ATM cards because seriously WHO IS GOING TO CHOOSE TO BE CHARGED AN OVERDRAFT?

When I got that letter and discovered that my bank had knowingly charged my card when they could have just as easily declined my card, I stormed the bank and demanded to know why they would do this.  My bank insisted that it was a great service to me to charge my cards even though I had insufficient funds, saving me the uncomfortable embarrassment of having my card declined, but I heartily disagreed.  I would much rather have my card declined than pay an overdraft fee!  Then I learned that my bank CAREFULLY CHOSE AMONG THEIR CUSTOMERS WHOSE CARDS THEY WOULD ALLOW TO ACCUMULATE OVERDRAFTS AND WHOSE CARDS THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW TO ACCUMULATE OVERDRAFTS.  If you were poor or a student, they simply shut off your card when you had insufficient funds.  But if you were the town doctor – they charged you as much as they could as often as they could.  My bank had placed a $700.00 overdraft limit on my card meaning that each time I made a purchase with insufficient funds I was charged an overdraft fee until I was $700.00 in the red. I am not a habitual over-drafter, but it happens and when I think that the bank could have just declined my card instead of charging me hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees over the past seven years, it really hacked me off.

And yes, I realize that any overdraft fees I have been charged over the past seven years could have been prevented by my being more aware of the state of my bank account, but I would have much preferred that my bank simply decline my card than charge me a fee for overdrafting.  Banks make millions of dollars on overdraft fees.  Right now my bank is running a desperate campaign to keep it’s customers overdrafting their accounts.  They have placed frantic ads on their web site and around the bank with this wording…

DON’T WANT YOUR CARD DECLINED?

OPT IN!

They make it sound as if you are doomed if you don’t ‘opt in’.

But I was doomed already.

Because I knew about that Yellowstone caldera with a side of global warming.

So I think I am going to switch over to a credit union and cut the bank’s stockholders out of my checking account forever.

Here is an interesting article about some banks re-ordering checks and charges to maximize their overdraft fees .  There are lawsuits pending.  You might want to see if your bank was one of the perps.  _________________________________________________________________________________________________

IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!

If you are still reading this – here is my version of PW’s stellar list of blogging tips.  I was so inspired by her post that I had to come up with my own.  I hope it helps!!!

1.  Be Yourself

Marry a rich cowboy

2.  Blog Often

Photograph the following things in the following prescribed order on a daily basis…

Husband’s ass
Dog
Husband’s ass
Dog
Husband’s ass
Aryan looking child with alabaster skin and glowing blue eyes.
Husband’s ass
Dog
Expensive home items that no one can afford during a recession.
Husband’s ass
Dog
Aryan looking child with alabaster skin and glowing blue eyes
Husband’s ass
Dog
Daughter with messy hair
Husband’s ass
Dog
Dog
Horse’s ass
Horse’s ass
Husband’s ass
Dog
Dog
Expensive home item that no one can afford unless you are married to a billionaire cowboy.
Dog
Dog

3. Be Varied

Dog
Dog
Dog
Husband’s Ass
Aryan looking child with alabaster skin and glowing blue eyes
Daughter with messy hair
Faded pasture scene
Expensive home item
Dog
Expensive home item
Dog
Faded pasture scene
Dog
Dog
Cat
Dog
Aryan Child
Expensive home item
Flowy shirt
Dog
Flowy shirt
Dog
Flowy shirt
Dog
Aryan Child
Dog
Husband’s ass

4. Exercise More

Butter
Butter
Butter
Butter
Butter
Dog
Aryan Child
Flowy Top
Butter
Butter
Husband’s ass
Butter
Dog
Butter
Dog
Butter
Dog
Butter
Dog
Dog
Dog
Butter

5. Allow your boundaries to set themselves naturally.

Talk about God

I mean Dog
I mean God
I mean Dog
I mean God
I mean DOG!!!
GOD!!!
BUTTER!!!
DOG!!!!
GOD!!!
ARYAN CHILD!!!!!

6. Bring back retro phrases like “hanky panky.”

Holey yoga pants

7. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself.

Write lame posts that allow you to feature really awesome photos of yourself in profile in signature flowy top.

8. Try your best to spell words correctly and use proper grammar.

Steal ideas from other bloggers and don’t ever give them credit for it.

9. If you have writer’s block, push through and blog anyway.

Steal ad revenue from entire BlogHer network to fund your own blog and pretend that you knew nothing about it.

10. Value every person who takes time out of their day to stop by your blog

Write your own fake comments telling yourself how awesome you are.

11. Keep it real!

Drench blog in money and materialism and empty American women will eat it up.
Was that eleven?!?!
Silly little ole me!
See number four.

Love Ya More ‘n my Luggage!

And I REALLY mean it!

Rechelle

Comments

  • Kait:

    OMG. Stop that! I am not supposed to be reading you at work and you almost made me snort water out my nose. Love love love your list. I found it to be very helpful. I have no luggage. I don’t have the kind of money it takes to hop a plane just to spend an hour on a panel and then fly home again. Takes money to make money and I am sure Ree could tell you all about it, if she was “keepin’ it real”.

  • you make me laugh. I feel somewhat the same way about dooce. Making money from ads. How much does one get paid in order to buy a new house, new furniture, hire helpers, never mention what happened to old house, talk about love of husband til it sounds unreal and in the next breath talk about marriage counseling on a regular basis…what’s with that.

  • Sara:

    Too funny!!! Love it!!!

  • Michelle Z.:

    Totally off topic…I had a dream about the Mule Train guy last night. Now I’m afraid I’ll have a dream about sexyJesus from that video.

    But I never had a dream about Marlboro Man.

  • Kay in KCMO:

    ARYAN CHILD!!!!!

    I laughed so hard I think the neighbors were alarmed.

    • Amanda:

      Why is Aryan child so funny? You do know that it has connotations of Nazism, right?

      • Rechelle:

        Yes Amanda – I realize the connection between the term ‘aryan’ and ‘nazism’. I also understand the connection between the term ‘aryan’ and blond, blue eyed child with white skin which PW tends to emphasize to a bizarre degree in photos of her two sons. They tend to glow. They tend to radiate – their eyeballs, their skin. It’s ridiculous and weird. Why can’t her kids just look like kids instead of cartoon depictions of some strange aryan ideal? It’s freakin bizarro. It’s what the blogosphere makes us think – that our kids have to look like super human angelic creatures from another planet and Ree is the queen of the photo-shopped blogosphere.

        • Amanda:

          Don’t you think it’s kind of mean to make fun of people’s children?

          • Kay in KCMO:

            Rechelle isn’t making fun of people’s children, she’s making fun of PW’s need to Photoshop her kids into something she thinks her readers find ideal. The Photoshopped kids do not reflect reality. PW’s perceived need to do this is laughable.

  • Kathy:

    You forgot cow testacles. Post photos and run caption contests about cow balls, so your readers can fake laugh at your hilarity.

  • Linda:

    OMG that was funny !!!!
    I laughed so loud.
    My kitchen window was open my neighbor came out on her porch to see if I was ok.

  • Robbyn:

    You’re exactly right about the inane credit card scams. We actually had a representative phone us to make SURE we were PROTECTED by opting out of the new overlimit protection law. I asked what the law said. They mournfully stated it no longer allows them to do all the specifics you stated above, namely that the TRAJEDY of having my debit card DECLINED if I had no money in the bank would happen if I didn’t let them charge me an overage fee. I said “Let me get this right. A debit card is linked to my checking account, so if I spend money it has to come from money I HAVE in the bank…that’s why it’s not a CREDIT CARD. So you’re saying if I run out of money, the card will be declined?” Yes said the mournful representative. “And so…if I don’t have money, I can’t BUY anything?” Well you CAN if you pay the overdraft charge! she stated. Then I lost it and said “So instead of your taking responsibility for bilking me for fees I never knew you charged me and a service I never asked for nor wanted, NOW you’re spinning it like I’m SO TRAGIC if I can’t pay you your ILLEGAL fees to spend money I ran out of? I’m of the opinion that if i have NO MONEY, I should not spend on credit unless this is a CREDIT CARD, which it ISN’T.” She tried to convince me I needed “protection” and I say FOR WHAT…to learn to be responsible and not spend more money than I have in my checking account??? I DO have protection, for free…it’s called DECLINED.” We never came to a meeting of the minds.

    I then went to take pictures of my husband’s behind. (Just kidding. But it’s always a fallback…)

  • Martha in Kansas:

    My bank settled for sending me desperate “reminders” that I needed to tell them which option I wanted. If I did nothing, the account would change to one with no “protection”. You know what I did? Nothing. I’m lazy like that. Now I’m practicing unprotected banking!

    I love the picture of you keeping it real behind the real rich Ree in her extra house. But why were you not making bunny ears behind her head?

  • Diane:

    Okay Rechelle, I’m switching back and forth from the photo of you with PW and the picture of you on the raft.
    It doesn’t even look like the same person.
    Lovin the makeover!

  • soosee:

    Ok, now you forced me to check PW to see if there really was a list, and there was, and now my head hurts.

  • “Rechelle Unhinged” is more apt.

  • Lea:

    Went to a Credit Union years ago. This is not related to your funny post, but I just saw this and thought it was something that you might laugh at too.
    http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l862xwMV9C1qa3f2po1_500.jpg

    • Rechelle:

      Ha ha!

  • eclecticdeb:

    I’m dying to know….She HAS to have some domestic help.

    There is absolutely no way she can home-school her Glowing Aryan children, shop for all that damn food she cooks (i’m guessing the nearest store is 200-billion miles away), actually cook all that food, garden, do the laundry, dishes, and her husband, shop to outfit her house and a “lodge”, take all those pictures, catalog all those pictures, photoshop all those pictures, write the blog (well, I guess she can do that — it’s drivel), delete all the negative comments off of the blog, and still have time to sit around and pick her toes.

    Please please please tell us what REALLY happens in OK.

  • km:

    That looks like a visit to Madame Tussaud’s photo

  • susan:

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Aryan………………!!! I too am at work and snorted reading that.

  • Suzanna:

    I am DYING to know what transpired during your visit to the ranch to make you feel so anti-PW……..

    • Debbie:

      Questions like this make me wonder if you actually read this blog at all. Find your viscera?

  • Katnip:

    Funny, but too true. I recently discovered the PW blog and at first enjoyed it very much. She had a lot that appeals to me, a ranch full of animals, lots of wide open space and a loving family, but it didn’t take long to begin questioning what she wrote. The city girl schtick wore thin quickly, and if one is really mildly agoraphobic as I am, one doesn’t fly all over the country. And while I realize it is her family business, I was put off by her cavalier attitude about the cattle living happily ever after in the feed lots. I think her appeal is for the same people who think of Thomas Kinkade as a real artist, he is marketing genius, but the art part… not so much. I cannot believe that her story is possibly going to be made into a movie, there are so many more compelling stories out there, but it just goes to show that the majority of people want a superficial escape from their own lives.

  • Can we ship PW’s books to Florida? If they arrive by tomorrow morning, they might get included in the mix. EFH

  • sandy:

    You could have warned me that this was gonna be so funny that I would spew my Martha Stewart’s No Knife Spaghetti all over my computer keyboard! Thanks a lot!

  • LucyJoy:

    You’re so funny, Rechelle, & so correct! Good god I love your posts!

    One time, when she was giving away some of her clothes, I asked why she bought the (expensive) clothes and only wore them once or never wore them at all in the first place? I never did check back to see if my question had been deleted or even had been responded to.

    • You can honestly say you have never bought things and not worn them? Good lord..what control!!!

      • Bridget:

        Sue you kind of scare me. I think that it is completely abnormal to buy clothes and never wear them. I don’t know anyone who does that. It is much more responsible to take the clothes back. And if that fails for some reason donating them to the Goodwill or to a women’s charity that clothes women who are returning back to work is a second good idea. Or just don’t buy so many clothes at once that you don’t get around to wearing them.

        • judy:

          I’m an average person of average means, and I know I have bought things and maybe worn them once…although it happens rarely. They end up at Goodwill.

  • Kait:

    Everyone who used to read PW I am sure remembers the lady that used to write some of her photography posts – Ivory Hut (that is her website name I believe). Well, I read Dutch Girl Cooking (aka Kayotic Kitchen) and she posted a plea this morning for everyone to help even a little as Ivory Hut’s house and all belonging had been lost in a fire. Where they hell is PW’s plea?? I thought she was all for helping people out. So why isn’t she helping now with the reach she has?

    • Linda:

      I thought the same thing as you, as I am sure others have too.

    • Joy:

      Just catching up on blogs after being away, and noticed this.

      I know she RTed a few tweets about the fund-raising effort (which is third-party sympathy as far as I’m concerned), but I was actually curious enough to see if she had left a comment on Ivory Hut’s blog, or whether she had responded to any tweets, or whether she had offered to give her some camera equipment.

      I didn’t see anything, which may not mean anything, but a little public display of support would have been nice. All I know is that if one of my good friends was homeless and I had an extra house and a lot of extra “stuff”, I would offer it all in a second.

      • judy:

        Who knows if PW may have offered help—and not publicized it?? You all just immediately think the worst of her. Who knows what she may or may not have done…..and I am not a huge fan of PW, I just think this is a very negative bunch of comments, when we do not truly know the whole situation.

  • Suzanne:

    That’s sad about Ivory Hut. And odd that PW hasn’t said something to ask for help for her.

    On the other hand, Rechelle, your post is HILARIOUS. Thanks.

  • Amanda:

    I think it’s funny that you complain about this woman deleting inappropriate comments but then you delete the comment I made earlier. It wasn’t inappropriate, I simply asked why you read her blog if it makes you so upset. It seems that there are better things you could do with your time that you wouldn’t hate and would leave you with more peace of mind. Nobody likes a hypocrite.

    • Susie:

      Ditto, Amanda. I enjoy both blogs (as well as Coal Creek Farm), but need to just steer clear when Rechelle gets on the “I hate PW” train. The bitterness ruins it for me. As much as you can’t stand Ree, Rechelle, at least she doesn’t spew hatred. Ever.

  • Can you just be a little more specific when you say to photograph the horse’s ass?

  • gREEd is the Las Vegas of blogs. Flashing lights and spend your money here!!!!! Buy me, me, me, me!

    All I can say is her readers must be addicted to the give away stuff.
    Kind of like a nickle slot. DING, DING, DING!

    Going to gREEds site is gambling. You might win a bright, shiny Kitchen Aid mixer. If you don’t. You get schlock. Some folks sell themselves to the mixer.

    Personally, I don’t gamble.

  • theresa:

    Funny story. I had PW’s blog bookmarked. My husband saw the link and said, REE? Her name is REE? Does she have a sister named TARD?

    • Jo:

      classic

    • AngAK:

      She does have a brother with Downs Syndrome.

  • I looked at that list she wrote and I almost threw up. Do her readers really buy that crap?

    I like what she produces every day as entertainment and fantasy geared towards women who read romance novels – or women like me who like to look at pretty things. And for Dooce, her site interests me enough that I go back maybe every three days. I get nothing insightful from either but I do get mildly entertained.

    At least Dooce kind of has to support her family with her blog so I don’t begrudge her becoming a complete sponsor.

    Ree, on the other hand, is a savvy marketer who knows exactly what her readers want and gives it to them. That in itself is a gift. But if it were an honest list it would be more like:

    1. don’t ever go above your readers heads because they don’t like high falootin’ talk.
    2. Don’t speak your mind about politics, race or religion. God forbid you should ever talk about sex in any real way.

    3.Only show pictures that fuel the fantasy.

    4. Never talk about what you really have to do to keep your blog running. The illusion must be maintained at all costs.

    5.Don’t worry, your kids can school themselves.

    6. Never admit you are better than everyone else at everything you do. Always feign modesty: “I don’t know nothin’.”

    7. Keep the giveaways coming.

    8. Buy a camera that costs more than many of you make in a month.

    9. Work harder than you ever have in your life but pretend that you don’t.

    10. Cook fattening foods that you really don’t eat but pretend that you do.

    11. Above all else, never let them REALLY see you sweat.

    It sound mean. I do read her site often and have learned much from her. But what the hell. She’s successful enough. The last thing she needs is more praise from a nobody like me.

    • Rechelle:

      Ha Ha! Emmasmon – your list is excellent. It really punctures the fantasy.

  • Should be – SOUNDS mean and Dooce has become not a sponsor but a spokesperson.

  • I just thought she gave birth to Powder over and over again. Hum…Aryan children….Does that make her a Na, um, can I say that here?

  • PUNKS

    P=PHOTO SHOPPED
    U=UN
    N=NATURAL
    K=KIDS
    S=SICK

  • I found your blog when I started to look for some PW cricicism on the web.
    I admit, I hugely enjoyed reading PW’s blog at first. Lovely views of the countryside, a nice large family, recipes that give me a more detailed idea about what the American real home cooking might look like.
    I guess it’s when I had a glimpse at the photos in the Lodge redo section that I first thought: “How much money do these people have to be able to afford all that?”. Then I added A to B and I felt cheated, as a reader. And then I laugherd. And I realised that PW is just a skilled “fantasy seller”. Maybe she’s so popular because – in the case of some women – reading her posts and looking at her photos makes their own kitchens, homes and lives seem less dingy.
    I still like looking at her recipes, but when I read her “confessions” it is only with the proverbial grain of salt.
    I’m sorry, I have to say this but – Rechelle, the fantasy sells best! Seling the truth won’t make you a millionaire in this strange world that prefers illusion to reality :)
    Cheers, Ed.

  • Debbie:

    Recipes, Ed? Oh, you mean the burnt toast ‘recipe’ she just posted? Quite the fantasy.

    • Heh, have just had a look and well, don’t know what to say now.
      Some fantasies are sicker than the others :)

      • Rechelle:

        I had to go and look too. I actually tasted that bread at her house with her lasagna. Neither were the supreme dishes that she says they are. The bread tasted like… bread. The lasagna tasted like lasagna. It could have been Stoufers. There was nothing fabulous about it. It was just ordinary – ordinary bread, ordinary lasagna. As we like to say in Kansas – Big Whoop. But LOOK she’s got a dog story up today! How UNUSUAL!!!! She is SO CREATIVE!!! Her mind NEVER STOPS.

        • Debbie:

          The best part? The comments. They crack you up.

          • Joy:

            No kidding. How about “yum!” or my personal favorite (the I-want-to-be-like-Ree comment): “I think I just ovulated.” Or, “I’m watching that movie too! And I’m crying too!” I seriously read them only to torture myself.

        • Bridget:

          Oh Rechelle: I know that your blog isn’t just about PW, but I have been missing this so much when I didn’t know that you had a blog. I was very bored awhile back and checked PW and her comment site. And there was no one that I could turn to, to whom I could disgust my frustration and I was thinking that Rechelle is the one who finally got my eyes all the way opened with it came to her website. It isn’t just about PW’s website. It is a bit more than that. First off. It just says something about our culture when someone can make tons of money off of inane drivel and stock photographs. Wait- over photoshopped stock photographs which is really bad because that is on par with hotel art. And none of the women over there have any clue that they are just buying into so much bullshit. It is the same with the women that watch the Real Housewife Shows. They are being told that there are certain things that you have to do and own to be happy, the independence and equality comes from wealth and material goods. Just keep buying in the machine and all the bullshit that comes with it. The fact that millions of readers buy into the vapid fluff that is on that website makes me worried for the future. I don’t think she has any idea where the real Ree starts and the one she imaged for herself stops, so we aren’t going to be seeing any of that anytime soon. People are completely okay with accepting the fantasy they are able to co-produce and they are able to co-produce the fantasy with Ree. It is scary the bullshit that people will buy into and what they will accept and what is equally scary is these people are the ones that don’t want anyone else raising questions or offering critiques. Sorry I have become a bit unhinged in the past year which is why I absolutely adored your blog because I felt like I could understand sort of what you were going through. Shit now I am going to sound like a PW read- we are just alike. I do that too. I wish I had my own charlie. Can I come live on the ranch? I would make a laundry folder.

          • Martha in Kansas:

            If it makes you feel any better, Bridget, not everyone watching the Real Housewife shows buys in to their supposed lifestyle. I’d like to recommend a blog called I Hate Jill Zarin for a different perspective on those “fans”. (Want to see the Giudice bankruptcy filing? Court documents detailing what they omitted from their declared income? The blog has links to that and much more.)

        • Debbie:

          She made you eat that? Poor you. The line really isn’t that fine between Maillard reaction and charcoal, but she crossed it anyway.

          Her blog these days is odd at best. The food speaks for itself. I mean, burnt toast. Right.

          Her photography section turned into an advertisement campaign versus bad tutorials section. Great for Jodi, she got a boatload of free advertising, but it makes wonder if her readers really don’t see what’s going on there.

          I wonder how people can be so oblicious to what is going on there. Can they really not see?

  • Bridget:

    Oh my Krishna! Rechelle. I thought that your blog was gone from my life never to return. I was an avid follower of your other blog- my sister’s farmhouse- and became even more avid and rabid when you say that you were taking it down. I didn’t know that you had returned and it is better than ever. I still can’t explain the links that lead down the rabbit hole to your new site, but I am sure glad that I ended up here. Now to go spend my break from studying calculus to indulge in your blog. But first I need to get a few thousand pictures of my dog and attempt to make tons of money off of them. Hey it has been done before. Most people aren’t willing to think for themselves, so I just need to get a few of the mindless and make them think that my dog is the cutest dog to ever live.

  • Bridget:

    Also just a comment about writing comments on the PW. I was looking at some of her pictures that she claimed were taken in the middle of summer. I wrote a comment asking if these pictures were taken in the middle of summer then why are people wearing fleece sweatshirts. It was deleted. Then I made some other slightly negative comment and it got deleted and I wrote a comment asking why my comments were getting deleted and it got deleted. There can be no negatives over at the PW. Wouldn’t want anyone to start getting questions or doubts in their minds. Wouldn’t want offend the all mighty PW. At least dooce allows negative comments. Thank god you are here. Offering us substance in the midst of trite, inane bullshit.

  • Chris:

    An argument did start around comment 42 on her bread post that I’m shocked hasn’t been deleted, but it was more about her use of butter than the fact that she just posted a recipe for toast. Burnt Toast. I’ve used and liked some of her recipes before but I will say that I was insulted enough by someone giving me a “recipe” for burnt toast that I will not be making PW cooks a regular blogroll stop anymore, the fact that there are a ton of comments thanking her for the “recipe” makes me wonder if I should start a cooking blog showing people how to do things like boil water, because I guess some things just aren’t as obvious as I thought.