Garden Update – It’s Hotter Than Hell Outside

August 14th, 2010

It’s really hot.  It’s been over 100 degrees for a solid week.  I have been working extra shifts at the Garden Center because one of the Cassies is on vacation.  The Garden Center is not air conditioned.  We spend most of our time just keeping the plants and ourselves alive.  If customers wobble in, we consider them a mirage… or a hallucination… and they are either ignored or spoken to from a trance like state.  Sometimes I find one hovering before me like a glassy pile of gelatin.  

Me – Can I help you?

Customer – How did I get here?

Me – Are you looking for anything in particular?

Customer – Have I died and gone to hell?

Me – A shrub perhaps?  Or maybe a fast growing shade tree?

Customer – I just want to go home.

After work, I drive by Cassie W’s house and water her garden and flowers as I mentioned previously, she is on vacation and then I drive home and collapse on the couch hoping against all hope that my dried out carcass will re-hydrate just one more time.  I look more and more like a piece of beef jerky everyday.  

I can’t bring myself to go back outside and care for my own garden.

It withers.  

It shrivels.  

It blackens to a hardened crisp.  

And the squash bugs nibble at the burnt ends.


  • Kiara:

    You’re back! I’ve missed your witty writing.

  • GA in GA:

    Glad to know you are alive, well sort of . . .

    The heat and humidity here are unbearable as well.

  • Sharon:

    Yay!! You’ve been missed.

  • farmgirl:

    I could care less about my garden since the grandkids saw a snake near there and it rains so much I’m HOT and waterlogged……

  • LucyJoy:

    Sorry you’re so hot…It’s heating up here in Western WA, too, but I’m happy to see a new post! Smooches!

  • Mistergee:

    Sure happy to see you are back and well. Except for that heat thing. It was an exceptionally cold winter in North Florida and it is proving to be an equally hot summer. Hey, what is going on with our weather? Could Al Gore be right?

  • Spinny:

    YAY!! You’re back!

    I’m sorry it’s so hot that you are living in a giant dehydrator.

  • Martha in Kansas:

    Today it’s only 93 here. (In what universe is that an acceptable sentence? 93 is still too hot.) I found what I consider the ideal garden solution. I bought a sprayer to put on the end of the hose. I have it locked in the “on” position, set to the widest squirt. I propped it in place with a rock so it strategically covers almost all the garden. When I decide I’d better water, I dash outside, turn on the water, dash inside and set a kitchen timer to remember to turn it off. If I had an indoor faucet, this would be perfect.

    The heat has me totally incapacitated to do anything that is not essential. Thus, I can’t grocery shop because I can’t bear to get in the car that has sat on asphalt for a while baking in the sun. I have to shop when the sun goes down.

    Life is hard. Eventually we’ll be complaining about snow.

  • Mary:

    love love love the last sentences describing your garden.

    Here in SW Ohio it’s been in the 90s for the last week and we haven’t had any real rain in over a month…I’ve just about kissed the cukes good-bye. The beans gave up the ghost a couple of weeks ago…sigh.

    Hope you get some rain and relief from the heat soon!

    As always, your writing is a joy.

  • We have a garden center here in our little town that often puts out a sign that says “CLOSED – TOO HOT”. Always makes me chuckle!