He Shot the Rat

May 28th, 2010

The Country Doctor shot the muskrat.  I did not witness the event, but after the CD disposed of the body (by throwing it in a thick clump of trees) the neighbor’s dog found it and dragged it up on their lawn.  So we have a body and a suspect who has confessed to the killing.  Case closed.

This is his testimony (the unabridged version).

“I saw it swimming around.  I got my gun.  I walked over to the pond and when it poked it’s head up, I blasted it.”

At his trial he said, “I did it to defend my manhood.”

The jury let him off easy with credit for time served (sixteen years with a crazy wife).

In other news…

 

It’s our anniversary today.  In honor of the Country Doctor bagging the rat, I thought I would re-run our wedding announcement.  This was our actual wedding announcement.  It ran in both of our small town newspapers.  The Country Docotr wrote it and just like the man, it’s a little unusual.  

 


Rechelle Renee Bishop and Michael Joseph Malin were blissfully entangled in holy matrimony May 28, 1994 at St. Lawrence Chapel in Lawrence, Kansas. Celebrants were Fr. Vince Krische, Lawrence and Rev. Ed Preston, Wichita.

Escorting the lovely bride were her strong but reluctant parents, Harrison and Martha Bishop. Goodland. Looking relieved, Joe and Rita Malin of Plainville presented their son, the groom.

The lovely bride wore flowers in her hair and a snappy little white outfit from Green’s Bridal Shop of Plainville, replete with numerous snapdoodles, vivisections, and just the right number of booleyboos (see photo). April Phillips, self -appointed wedding authority and sister of the bride, served as Matron of Honor. She shared time with the Maid of Honor, Kelly Hagan a college chum of the bride, most recently of Oxford U.K. Rachel Murray and Susan Munn, both from Lawrence and friends of the bride were bridesmaids. Emily Malin, niece of the groom, bore her basket of flowers without mishap.

The groom wore what grooms always wear. Steve malin (6-2, 205), was his brother’s Best Man. He was assisted by groomsmen Dave Malin (6-5, 225) of Dallas, brother of the groom; Jake Jesse Sheffer (6-5, 220); and Joe Courtright (5-10, 175) Joplin, Mo., the latter two of who endeavored to set a poor example for ring bearer, Michael Davidson, impressionable young nephew of their friend, the groom.

Eric Moeder, Bo Bernasky, and Rod Chard, friends of the groom were the ushers. Christi Malin sang a touching solo while Bonnie Bonine, friend of the bride, handled violin duties. Norma Osborne and Hal Sears, dear friends of the bride served as lectors and pronounced every word correctly.

Following the ceremony, all retreated to Stony Point Barn in rural Douglas County for a dinner and reception complete with roast pig, wedding cake, a bluegrass band, and a beautiful Spring evening. All present agreed the baked beans were outstanding.

The bride is a 1987 graduate of Goodland Highschool and a 1991 graduate of the University of Kansas. The groom is a 1985 graduate of Plainville High School and a 1989 graduate of the University of Kansas. He recently began his first year of study at the KU School of Medicine.

Following a honeymoon which much to the groom’s chagrin did not include a Royals baseball game, the couple is at home trying to decide whose turn it is to do the dishes.

Wedding photo by Rick Mitchell

Comments

  • Celie:

    What a wonderful announcement! Love it!

  • Vickie:

    That is great!

  • Spinny:

    Best.Wedding Announcement.Ever.

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Kay in KCMO:

    Your dress had ‘vivisections’? Well of course it did. Don’t they all? lol

    The first time you posted this, Rechelle, I bookmarked it and have read it several times. It’s funny but manages to stay low-key. Based solely on this it would seem you made a good choice. It does make me wonder, though, what *you* would have written at the time. Have you thought about giving it a stab?

  • Nadine:

    I love the announcement too! So funny.

  • Happy Anniversary and Merry Muskrat Blasting!

    That’s honestly the best wedding announcement I’ve ever read!

  • Samantha:

    oh couldn’t he have humanely trapped/captured the muskrat and transported him out of town?

    But Happy Anniversary to you both, hope you havemany more! – what a beautiful looking pair you are! And that is THE best announcement I’ve ever read too..I see CD likes to keep it real too.

  • jamoody:

    Love this. I remember reading it when you posted it before, but had forgotten how great it was.

    Happy Anniversary! Make him be nice to you….or should I suggest perhaps you should be nice to him?

  • Sheri:

    Congratulations on your anniversary! Mine was yesterday! 21 years of wedded bliss.

    Also, Kudos to the fearless hunter and protector of the dam. Those muskrats are wiley little buggers. :) Have a good weekend.

  • Alison:

    That’s awesome. The dead animal and the wedding announcement. Love the pig roast reception. You’d fit right in here in the south. We just had a pig roast on Sunday.

  • [...] Read the whole thing on Rechelle’s lovely site. [...]

  • Oh god, that’s the best wedding announcement I’ve ever read.

    NYTimes Sunday Section weddings, eat your heart out!

  • Martha in Kansas:

    Congratulations! On both the anniversary and the demise of the rat!

  • Carol:

    Bravo! To both! Lovely announcement, nice shot and happy anniversary!

  • Hysterical. You must love that man. Sounds like he loves you back!

  • Diane:

    Happy 16th Wedding Anniversary!
    That is the most original/funniest announcement I’ve ever seen.
    You should have that muskrat mounted over the fireplace.

  • Happy Anniversary!

    I can’t believe they let you print that announcement in the paper! It’s awesome. What a great-looking couple you make. And geez, CD’s family are all giants.

  • Priss:

    I loved that so much! You two seem to have very well-matched wits.

  • Lynn in WI:

    Happy Anniversary, Rechelle! May it be a good day of laughter and sarcasm, teasing and joy. (May Europe stay quietly in the corner and not be mentioned.)

  • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

    So glad the CD was successful in strengthening his masculinity just in time for your anniversary. Hope man and wife have a joyful day together.

  • Carol:

    Kudos! I love how he posted the guys’ stats in the announcement- and I love that HE wrote it- you two must have a good time! Happy anniversary!!!

  • LucyJoy:

    I love it! Happy anniversary, CDW & CD! Congratulations to the CD for bagging not only a beautiful bride, but also the “rat”!

  • Ashley F.:

    Sounds like the CD needs a blog of his own. How hilarious!

  • GA in GA:

    Happy Anniversary! 16 blissful years, no doubt. And the CD bagged a muskrat for you, what a present to remember!

    I seem to remember our 16th being much less celebratory. lol

  • Action Squirrel:

    Oh please let that be real.

  • Megan:

    Love it! Happy Anniversary!

  • Georgia:

    Best Wedding Announcement evah!

  • Syl:

    Love it, love it, love it!

    Happy anniversary!

  • Brian V.:

    yer a gem… shine on….

  • Cherie:

    Now, THAT is a wedding announcement! Too funny–love the dry wit! Actually, has made me realize all men should write the wedding announcements–far more entertaining (and never know what you’re going to get). :-)) Many more to you both!

  • NC Gal:

    Believe it or not, it’s my anniversary, too! I was feeling a little mopey with my husband being overseas, but you’ve got me wiping tears of laughter with that wedding announcement. It’s so clever and original, I love it! Happy Anniversary!

  • Linda In Seattle:

    Happy Anniversary.

  • Happy Anniversary and what a great wedding announcement LOL.

  • Not a very original comment but an incredibly original wedding announcement – hands down, no competition, the best ever, ever, ever!!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Well if you two aren’t just adorable.

  • Excellent announcement!
    But I had no idea the traditional gift for the 16th wedding anniversary was muskrat…
    Happy Anniversary!
    ;o)
    - Lee

  • just a farm girl:

    I enjoyed the wedding announcement–if that doesn’t make you smile…what would? And I sympathize about the muskrat/marsupial. Are you sure that is the ONLY muskrat on the pond—the mate could be hanging around–maybe writing wedding announcements. We have done battle with them ourselves….out here in the boon docks and they seldom go into the live trap and who could you find that would want one–they’re destructive?! hahahah

  • Congrats to both of you! Happy Anniversary & congrats on the muskrat blasting!

  • annmarie:

    Love the announcement. And love the picture. Happy Anniversary.

  • Axelle the french reader:

    Rechelle, this picture is wonderful. You look so happy on it ! A very beautiful photo.

  • Suzie:

    OMG, hilarious! A man with a sense of humor like that is worth it! Congratulations!

  • efrique:

    Fantastic announcement. Thanks for sharing.

  • Way to go CD! Save the pond!

    Quite a catch you’ve got there Rechelle. Always love your wedding announcement.

  • Nancy:

    and now I have the song “Muskrat Love” playing over and over in my brain. LOL

    Happy Happy Anniversary!

  • Danielle:

    Love it!! Happy anniversary to you both. :)

  • Well, somehow I missed this post. Happy belated Anniversary. I’m glad he bagged the damn rat, er… muskrat.

  • Ted Powell:

    Here’s some muskrat music! Louis Armstrong in Munich, 1962.

  • I still think this is the best wedding announcement I have ever read. The use of the word “vivisections” to describe your dress is classic.

    My anniversary to my country doctor is this coming weekend; we were married the year before you. I spent many years wondering why I had chosen a long sleeve dress for a wedding in the late spring. What was I thinking? Your picture reminds me — it was all the rage! We were practically dressed like nuns compared to today’s dresses. Thank goodness it was a cool day!

  • Angie:

    Love the wedding announcement (read it before, but definitely worth the repost) and y’all make a handsome couple! But I agree with Kay in KCMO that I would LOVE to read your version of the day.

  • Leslie:

    That is the best (and funniest) wedding announcement I have ever read! Thanks for sharing.

  • Your wedding announcement is absolutely hilarious! Happy Anniversary!

  • I love it..the best ever! What an awesome fun relationship the two of you must share! And guess what ~ my snappy little white outfit also came from Green’s in Plainville!! Many moon ago…..

    Congratulations on your anniversary!

    • Really! You got your dress at Green’s? I loved those two ladies. That was really a great experience. So glad I got my dress there. I will never forget the experience.

  • Rhonda H.:

    This is AWESOME! At least CD is REALLY keeping it real. Just sayin’ hehe

  • Kathy J:

    That was a hoot! Gosh a wedding announcement with news you can use.

  • Nancy:

    That was MUCH more entertaining to read than any other wedding announcement I’ve ever read! How awesome to have such a great relationship from the very beginning…Congratulations on your anniversary!

  • That is the best wedding announcement that I’ve ever read!

  • That is definitely the best wedding announcement EVER! Congrats on your anniversary!