But He WILL MELT! Because He IS Made of Sugar!

May 20th, 2010

After school, my youngest son Jack went over to a friend’s house to play. At dinnertime I called my neighbor and said, “Please send Jack home and if he balks about riding his bike in the rain, I will come and get him.”

Because whenever Jack is around his mother he balks about everything.

Because he is my baby.

And he knows that nine times out of ten, if he yelps at just the right frequency, I will scoop him up in my arms and stuff him full of cotton candy and coca cola and read him stories and swing him around and play games with him until that little smile flutters back across his face.

He is ruined.

Utterly ruined.

But he is only ruined around me.

His brothers have no patience with Jack’s balking and they beat him mercilessly whenever he even tries to play the baby card.

His father also fails to respond to Jack’s balking and insists that he suck it up.

So Jack and I are a sort of refuge for each other.

He agrees to stay my baby and I agree to stay his protector, defender and respond to all the slightest whimperings and rearrange the ENTIRE UNIVERSE to make his life BETTER!

So that Jack and I get along fine as long as we both remember the rules.

These are the rules…

Jack tells me what to do.

And I do it.

Immediately.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

So back to this rain thing.

I hung up the phone with my neighbor and looked at the Country Doctor who was rolling his eyes up so far in his head that I thought he was having a seizure.

Me – MY GOD! HONEY!  HONEY!!  ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE! Drew! Drew! Get a stick! Quickly! We have to pry your dad’s mouth open and put a stick in there so he won’t bite off his toungue!

Drew – Get a what?

Me – Get a stick!  For your dad!  He is having a seizure!

Mike – I AM NOT HAVING A SEIZURE!  I am just amazed that you think you have to go and pick up Jack just because it is raining!

Me – I only said I would pick him up if he BALKED! Do you want me to seem like a cold hearted parent who doesn’t care if her child drowns on the way home from the neighbors!

Mike – If that had been Drew over at the neighbors in a rainstorm, you would have forced him to crawl home… on his knees.. over a bed of pointy rocks! But if it is Jack – you pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and rub his back and carry him home on your back!

Me – But he’s so HELPLESS! And TINY! He’s only EIGHT! For crying out loud – what am I supposed to do? Let him sob all the way home?

Mike – He won’t sob! He will love it! Riding a bike in the rain is FUN!

Me – Maybe for you!  Maybe for people who like to suffer! But for people like me and Jack – it is different! We want to be picked up and given warm, sugary sustenance and then taken to a movie and then to the mall where we can buy a new outfit or maybe a new video game and then go get some sour watermelons at the candy store!

Mike – He is fine!  You don’t need to go and pick him up.

Me – Well… I am going to go watch him and we’ll see just how fine he really is!

So I took my camera out to the porch to document Jack’s bike ride home in the rain.

And as USUAL!  I WAS RIGHT!.  

Jack was in a state of insufferable misery the entire way home.

Just look at these photos!

 

The rain was pouring down. It doesn’t seem like it was – but it was.

 


Look at the agony on his face!   He’s so downcast he can’t even avoid that muddy puddle!

 


Do you see that!  How he is looking down at his muddy pants!  He is visibly upset about it!


This is my brave toddler – covered in mud and rain dutifully putting his bike away through a veil of immense pain and suffering.


And this is when he tried to pretend to be okay about it all as he came in the house because he didn’t want to upset his mother.  He is SO BRAVE!

But don’t you people worry! I scooped him up and dried him off and stuffed him full of marshmallows and chocolates. And I promised him that I would never let him endure such agony again.

The Country Doctor suffered from another one of his eye rolling seizures.

But I couldn’t help him this time.

I had to take care of my baby.

Immediately!

Comments

  • I love how cute & sweet you are! This post makes me want to be a mom :) I’m ready!

  • This is exactly how I feel about my youngest, who is nine. And I get the exact same reaction from my husband. Men can be so UNfeeling!

  • Clay:

    What cute dimples!

  • No, no, no, I’m a father of three, and *I* am the cotton-feeder of our youngest. Not sure if it’s because he’s my only boy, though. Heck, I cotton-feed all of them, come to think of it, and just not only because you girls have been shielded from the harshness of life through cotton and lace all your life …

  • That poor, poor boy. He’s so obviously miserable, Rechelle. Better whip out the sugar and quick! Thanks for the pictures. He’s adorable especially when miserable.

  • Love it!!!!!

  • Very well written! I think my wife feels similarly about the “baby” in our family as well. I think we partly kept having children to keep those feelings going.

  • Sue S:

    Our dumpling (the 8 year old who is the youngest of three) suffers so, too. Our older son and older daughter can identify with your two older….I identify with CD…my husband is a mushball.

  • annmarie:

    This was so sweet. I smiled the whole time I was reading – too cute. I feel the same way about my youngest.

  • amy:

    You made me laugh out loud. Awesome post.

  • Patricia:

    So funny !! Mothers of youngest sons unite !

  • I loved your post Rechelle…I agree…Jack does appear to be in agony…He just doesn’t know it!

  • km:

    anyone with those cute dimples deserves marshmallows…..that is a lovely post :)

    I am the terrible mother of our town I’m afraid. I am a farm girl from another country. I make people nervous because I tell the kid what might happen if they insist on running down the hill with one laces, and I tell them just once. If they fall, lesson learned. After 8 years my neighbors are only now used to me. My kids are 10 and 5. There is tons of hugging here too, but not too much mollycoddling. We have a lot of celebratory bowls of icecream though.
    I’m not as blase as Lenore what’s her name but I’m not far off. I see the polite bafflement, I know they talk. I also see them dropping their kids to school because there is talk on the bus about the existence of Santa / loudness etc.

  • Dominique:

    Love this post!

    Both my boys are made of sugar too, as far as I am concerned :-)

  • Dontcha just love it when you’re right?

  • I’m sure that smile is just a trick of the light.

  • Alison:

    “My brave toddler” I love that! My son is turning 7 and I think the same thing. He looked miserable. Really. I think you won that argument with the CD.

  • Tracy:

    Love it!!

  • Another Lee:

    Thanks for starting my day with a smile and a giggle!

  • Oh boy, that’s how I feel about my son, too! I would have wrapped him in a towel fresh from the dryer and given him all the hot cocoa he could stand. I’m glad I’m not the only mom who feels this way about her ‘baby’. My husband thinks I’m certifiable. But I know better!!

  • Amber:

    Although I’m not a mother yet, I completely get your post! It must be a youngest child thing. My mother acted the exact same way with my little brother. =)

  • Sara:

    I love this story!

    My baby is 13 and her older sisters are big meanies.

    I told my baby because I love her so much we are sending her oldest sister away to college in the fall and she only has to wait 1 year after that for her other sister to be sent away!

    Tell your baby to hang in there, one day his big brothers will be sent away too!! :)

  • Sharon:

    It’s very apparent how miserable he is:) Such torture.

  • LOL!!!! Poor baby!! Such a cute little guy, and a GREAT post!

  • Sara – I will tell him tonite! Poor thing. Too bad he has to wait six years to get the attention he really needs!

  • Brooke:

    I was the baby of the family, and I was never coddled. Now I’m gonna have to lay it on really super thick with my youngest (which isn’t here yet..not sure when he/she will be ’cause I want more!) so that he/she will never have to learn to fend for him/herself. My baby will always need mommy! Wa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    On a side note, I just noticed the teeny tiny smiley face in the bottom left corner!

  • raj gorham:

    Awsome post

  • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

    Sometimes I wish my hubs (15 years today – don’t know how) would get eye-roll seizures so I could shove a stick in his mouth.

  • LOL!

  • Mindy:

    lol “Drew! Get a stick!” I’m going to have to remember that one…

  • Nadine:

    This made my morning.

  • Adorable!

  • susan:

    So sweet.

  • sandy:

    Hahahahaha….My 24 year old toddler “balks” also……and I am his protector and he is mine. ‘Loved the story and pics!

  • Torture, I say! Clearly you’re just an awful, terrible mother and you’ll be answering for your sins. Forcing a child to enjoyable and enthusiastically ride his bike in the rain and not throwing yourself bodily over that mudhole before he rolled into it? And then obviously having taught him something about taking care of his things so he will put them away properly? Sheesh. Where’s your irresponsibility, anyway?

  • Yes, the poor boy looks to be scarred for life from the rain experience. Sign him up for counseling before it’s too late. LOL

    Di

  • Kait:

    Well as long as he has brothers to beat some sense into him he will be fine.

  • awesome! He looks utterly miserable! My husband is the cotton candy stuffer in this house, though we both spoil our kids rotten. I don’t have an oldest and youngest since mine are twins and my family thinks we are crazy for the way we baby them sometimes. I just stick my tongue out at them.

  • Kris:

    I still baby my “baby” – he’s 27! :) As a baby of the family myself, this post made my day!! Keep on doing what you’re doing Rechelle, your blog IS real and very much enjoyed by me and obviously many others!! Thanks!

  • Procrastamom:

    This is exactly how I treat our youngest, who is twelve and the only boy. When I do my husband dances around screaming, “my baby! My BABY!” in his hilarious woman-voice imitation of me.

  • Vee:

    He looks so unhappy about being out in the rain! Glad you took care of him with some sugar to cheer him right up. What a cute kid and the pictures are so much fun. My baby is 13 and she gets the same treatment and NOT just from me.

  • Such abject misery and terror. The things our kids must put up with. *sigh* Go make that kid another cup of hot cocoa and make sure his toes are warm enough!

  • AnnB:

    My “Jack” = Cormac. And if his two brothers don’t shut up soon about how different he is treated vs. “how (horribly) they were treated” I am going to unleash the powers that be. All the harping is disturbing Cormac.

  • Spinny:

    I am the mother of an only child. A boy. Just imagine how much babying my baby (10 years old is a baby, dammit) gets.

    He had a slight cold a while back with a fever. All I wanted to do was check his temperature for the 9000th time right before bed. My husband had one of those eye-rolling seizures (it must be contagious or something) and said, “GAH! you are such a MOTHER!”

    Well, duh! I only have one boy into whom I can pour every ounce of my mothering instincts. It is not at all over-the-top!

  • Little boys are the best.

  • LucyJoy:

    I totally understand Jack’s misery! I, too, am the youngest & at 50, even though my Daddy has passed, the kindness & care he showered on me has been passed down. My oldest brother is now his baby sisters protector! I don’t have those adorable dimples, though…

  • MommyMer:

    :snort: LOL! I have 3 boys and this sounds vaguely and unnervingly familiar… Love it!

  • Samantha:

    Sweet and so cute! I have one of these at home too!

    I love your vignettes Rechelle, keep them coming!

  • Angie:

    Love it! Although I’m already feeling sorry for his future wife. :-)

  • Liz:

    Your rules just made me laugh out loud! It would be hard to say no to that sweet face and those dimples!

  • MA:

    Rechelle,

    I am the oldest of 4 and my youngest brother, the BABY, is still our baby. He is 6’3″ and graduated from college last week. He is sweet, kind, happy- go-lucky, and overall a good guy. We teased our mom about the baby being her favorite and eventually she said, “I can’t help it, he’s so easy to love!” Something about big families and baby sons!

    He will need a woman who will take care of him one day. That is for sure!

  • Kristy:

    Hmm – this looks and sounds just like a PW post.

    • Kristy really? Aren’t the photos just a little too NORMAL looking? Please note – my son’s eyeballs do not look like cartoon eyes! Also – the words ‘holey yoga pants’ were not mentioned one single time. But most telling – I never at any point forced you to look at my husband’s ass.

  • Angie:

    Eeeek! Maybe PW and Rechelle are the same person…and this site is where Ree lets her tortured inner self loose? Hmmm…food for thought.

  • The youngerst of our four- referred to by his mother as ‘Baby Aaron’ is ELEVEN!!! There’s no hope for me!

  • Kimberly:

    Oh, sweet boy!

  • puking:

    I am sorry, but this just makes me want to puke. I am with your husband on this one. Little boys grow up to be men and if you baby them so much they turn out terrible. I feel sorry for his future wife.

    I’m just glad he had the fortitude to go ahead and ride home in the rain. There is hope for him yet!

    • But Tracy (puking)? What if Jack doesn’t get married? What will you have to bitch about then?

  • Sherry:

    Hi, I just wanted to comment on the last few post and how much I have enjoyed them…. Reading about your visit and feelings, reations from you and Pw and hub were interesting… it really explained a lot to me about your last few months of post about the difference in her and you…… you are who you are and we love you for that…. your real and in the same breath PW is real also…… that’s what makes us all different and each our own…….. let her be herself and you be yourself……. I love reading you… I did get the feeling that you felt used, and a lot of fakeness was going on on thier part so of course it would upset anyone who went to visit and thought you were on a even playing field… but that was not the case in your experience so that has to be respectful and I fully understand…. just maybe she was being as real as she could but yall did not click….. you are a great writer and never give up your realness for love or money…. I’ just saying…. hugs, Sherry

  • amy:

    @puking: your lack of a sense of humor is nauseating…

  • Kimberly:

    I have two girls. Am I missing something here??? :)

  • Well, I thought it was hilarious and never thought of PW once while reading it. Wonderful post Rechelle…keep up the good work.

  • Well the LAST person I thought of when I read this post was PW. Puh-lease! Hello, these pictures aren’t photoshopped to within an inch of their lives. There was no mention of hiney jiggling and or tingling. Whatever, twidiots. Haters gotta hate, I suppose.

  • lamitchell:

    Awesome post Rechelle! I love the second-to-last picture – he looks like he’s having a ball.

  • Megan:

    I love every minute of this post.

  • Heidi:

    What do dads know anyway?