Our European Vacation – The Snapshot Version

March 18th, 2010

I found this photo yesterday when I was looking for images that might work for a blog re-design. The above picture was quickly placed on top of the ‘Oh Hell Yes’ pile because it just seems to perfectly describe a certain episode that occurred in my married life like nothing else can.  I call it the “Can This Marriage Survive The World’s Most Wretched European Vacation Of Your Worst Nightmares Episode“.  In the above photo, the Country Doctor and I are seated in my friend Liz’s parent’s garden in England at a lovely tea party and we are CLEARLY NOT SPEAKING, LOOKING OR EVEN ALLOWING OUR INVISIBLE AURA FORCE FIELDS TO COME INTO CONTACT WITH EACH OTHER.

Can two people exude more palpable disgust with each other than is being exhibited in the above photo?

No.

I think not.

We did manage to survive the above episode as well as the subsequent  ”Wife Becomes a Raving Lunatic Atheist Blogger Psychotic Implosion Episode” that followed quickly on it’s heels.

As you might surmise…

I married a very resilient man.  

_______________________________________________________________________________

But back to the point of this post.

Which was about getting a new blog design.

First I had to find a designer.

Because my last designer – although very sweet and very easy to work with – sent me an evangelical Christmas card this year with sincere wishes that the Christ child would reign in my heart (or something like that) and I just wasn’t sure that she would want much to do with my blog now that I have yanked the Christ child out of my heart and claimed that territory for my uh… for my um… well.. for my heart.

So I went in search of a new designer.  And you are not going to believe this!  But I found one! And her name was MARGOT!

MARGOT!

MARGOT! 

Some of the long time readers of this blog might remember that Margot was the name of my imaginary assistant back when my imaginary assistant was my kitchen hutch.

Remember!

Margot the kitchen hutch who did the funny cowboy dance?

Margot with the clicking heels and the neckercheif who laughed at all my jokes.

Margot who wore trim navy suits, always had a clipboard in her hand and didn’t mind cleaning out my refrigerator?

Once I had an imaginary interview with an imaginary assistant whose name was NOT Margot and I asked her to change her name TO Margot because… well… just because.  But the imaginary assistant candidate refused to change her name to Margot so I refused to hire her! And I went back to using my kitchen hutch as my imaginary assistant who didn’t mind seem to mind being called Margot at all!

So when I found a web designer named Margot I was very excited!  I was going to hire her just because her name was MARGOT, but it turned out that Margot was not available which is just as well because it would have been very hard to keep my imaginary Margot from getting mixed up with the real Margot.  I mean, what if I asked the wrong Margot to clean out my refrigerator? 

So instead, I hired a designer named Shaz.

Shaz.

IS THAT NOT SUCH A MUCH BETTER NAME THAN MARGOT!

PLUS!!!

Shaz is not imaginary!

At least I don’t think she’s imaginary.

I hope she’s not imaginary!

Because if she is, then I am about to enter into a brand new psychotic episode called the “Imaginary Assistant Margot Who Was Neither Imaginary Nor an Assistant, But Rather a Web Designer Named Shaz Who Refused to do a Funny Cowboy Dance Or Clean Out My Refrigerator”.  

And it will be a doozy!

Comments

  • Ted Powell:

    ROFLASTC!

  • Ted Powell:

    (The part about the assistant, not the non-overlapping auras.)

  • I am gonna be walking around my house randomly saying “SHAZZZZZZ” to everything from the houseplants to the dogs to the lint under my scale when I weigh myself every week.

    My husband might leave me over it. Oh well, we had a good run. Shazzzz!

  • I love how you are even covering your teacup so his aura doesn’t ooze into it.

  • I do remember Margot! Maybe I’ve made this up, but I thought Margot was British? Was she? (btw, I’m typing this in a fantastic British accent!)

    If she’s not British, she should be, b/c Shaz absolutely sounds like she’s British – like the name of one of Bridget Jones’ friends! (Is it the name of one of Bridget Jones’ friends?) So, on your next trip to Europe (har har), you & Margot & Shaz & Bridget Jones & (aw shucks) me too(!) should get together & have tea with Hugh Grant & Colin Firth! I just know it will be bloody fantastic!

  • A:

    In Australia, we would call her Shazza or Shags, and would work well anywhere,especially behind a bar.

  • sandy:

    Hmmmm….I have some vacay/staycay photos like that….I am guessing we all do!

  • Revyloution:

    New web design! Oh Oh! Do add reply commenting!

    I love reply commenting. One of the true horrors in life is trying to have a discussion with someone on a blog. Scroll up, scroll down, cut copy paste. Two monitors helps, I can open the same page on two screens to see what was previously written. Then to see if anyone else responded.

    Definitely add reply commenting. I really like the format over at Daniel Floriens spot http://www.unreasonablefaith.com

  • Patricia:

    My husband and I look like that on a daily basis…..

  • Never confuse your Margot with your Shaz; that always ends badly.

  • Oh I can’t wait to see the new design!

  • Jaime:

    Thank the universe for resilient men.

  • Sandy in MI:

    I love the grim expressions! Oh, and your cleavage looks nice, so there’s always that.

    Every vacation my husband and I have ever taken have had moments where we wanted to kill each other. Isn’t that normal?

  • Looking at this photo makes me sad. Hope things have gotten better since then. Looking forward to the new design!

  • ann:

    I love that picture. I have one of me and my husband hanging up that is similar. People comment on how awful it is because we look like we hate one another, but we both got a kick out of it when we saw it, and it reminds me that even when I can’t stand him, we both have the same sense of humor, which seems to be the most important thing.

  • Nancy in AK:

    I think you should have a blog post or contest with suggestions for a new name for your blog. with prizes!

  • LucyGolden:

    The Country Doctor is a very lucky man!

  • Maria:

    You could really go with an “anti-Ree” theme, you know…market yourself as the “anti-Ree” who is for REAL keeping it real. I’d say the above photo is a really good start!

  • I can see why you are so in with the very resilient CD. What’s not to love about a guy who knows how to tea party like that?!

  • Christina564:

    I think this picture was staged too. Like I said earlier, bitterness and envy seems to be working for you. Add just a dash of marital discourse and your site should skyrocket with hits. It’s caused me to come back to your previous BORING blog. hahaha

  • some kid:

    OMFG.

    …The Country Doctor is hawt.

    (Please don’t kill me. …If it helps at all, the first thing I thought upon reading your recent PW post after seeing this one was, “Holy shit, the Marlboro Man is old-ish and not hawt. And definitely not hawt like the Country Doctor.” And for the venomous Crusaders of Ree: No, the fact that I can recognize that P-Dub’z husbie is unattractive does not mean I’m jealous of her – or him for that matter. The only person I’m jealous of is Rechelle because she is witty, brave, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, MARRIED TO A HAWT DOCTOR. Also she has an assistant named Margot. Fuck. Some people have all the luck.)

  • Action Squirrel:

    Actually this photo tells me that the CD sympathizes with you intellectually as of this photo. That’s usually what the head tilt towards the partner means, even if other parts of the body are totally closed off or guarded. But whatever.