Alert Reader Sandy Clears up Cannibal Palsy Mystery and FINALLY Conclusive Evidence for the Six Day Creation Story

January 28th, 2010

Thanks to reader Sandy for emailing me with some fascinating information regarding cannibal palsy. Evidently it is real. It does happen. And the best way to avoid it is to NOT eat the brains of your dead relatives. So if you were planning to eat the brains of your dead relatives, PLEASE DON’T!  For more information on what other steps you can take to avoid cannibal palsy or as the educated elites like to call it ‘kuru’ click here. Thanks Sandy!

In other news…

I continue to live in fear and anxiety over emails but thanks for sending them anyway. The only ones I will open for now are the ones clearly marked ‘cannibal palsy’ and possibly emails that contain photos of very sexy, scantily clad, standard poodles.  As you can see, now that I am an atheist all my morals are completely shot to hell.  For instance, I no longer think that it is okay for god to ask Abraham to sacrifice his child, Isaac to prove his faith.  I know!  I know!  All this time… all these years…  I thought it was perfectly okay for god to ask a person to murder their child to prove their faith, but now that I am an atheist and have no morals, I think that this request is a clear indication that the god in the bible is a psychotic sociopath.  But wait!  It gets even worse!  For I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if god were to ask me to murder my own child to prove my faith my answer would be NO!  Or actually it would be HELL NO!  Or actually it would be far more potent than that, but I can’t write it here for the sake of the christian homeschoolers who might self-incinerate if they see the correct response in print to god’s request to murder your own child to prove your faith. If you would like to email me your own response to god asking you to murder your own child to prove your faith please label the email ‘god is a sociopath’.

And just to ensure that the hate mail continues…

Here are two Ricky Gervais videos that are a must watch for anyone who has ever asked the questions…

1.  Where exactly was god when the snake showed up in Eden?

2.  And why both the snake and the tree in Eden?

3.  Because isn’t that clearly just a recipe for disaster?”

Fortunately most of the homeschoolers won’t understand him as he doesn’t speak American.

And then there’s Jesus, the unpaid babysitter.