On Anxiety…..
Grandpa Harry – Jack, are you a little anxious about opening your Christmas presents?
Jack – I don’t know what anxious means.
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On Indigestion….
Me – Do any of your patients ever complain about burping or farting all the time?
CD – Yes…
Me – What do you do for them?
CD – I can’t do anything for them.
Me – What do you mean you can’t do anything?
CD – There’s nothing that can be done.
Me – Sure there is! You can tell them to watch what they eat! You could tell them to eat less! You could give them some medicine!
CD – Yes, I could give them some $100.00 medicine that won’t work. I can tell them to eat less or eat better, but they already know that.
Me – I think you just like telling people that nothing can be done. I think you just like making people feel powerless.
CD – Rechelle. I don’t know how to make people stop farting.
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On High Blood Pressure…
Me – … are you telling me that a 300 pound man with high blood pressure should not change his diet?
CD – Changing his diet will not change his high blood pressure.
Me – What are you talking about? Did he have high blood pressure when he was a baby? Did he have high blood pressure when he was a skinny nine year old kid? Did he have high blood pressure when he was eighteen and running hurdles on the highschool track team?
CD – No one knows what causes high blood pressure.
Me – Well – maybe if he lost a hundred pounds he wouldn’t have it anymore.
CD – Okay… what about the 92 pound old lady who has high blood pressure? Should she lose 100 pounds too?
Me – Uh….
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