The Bull on my Roof

October 7th, 2009

I would like to thank alert reader Mr. Brown for sending me the following e-mail a few days ago…

Hey, Rechelle, have you ever noticed that up on the roof-line of your house (in the picture at the top of your blog) a tiny man is riding a tiny bull toward your chimney?

When I read this e-mail, I frantically pounded out a missive to Mr. Brown that I would check my virtual roof line immediately for any such bull on my roof!

After I looked, I sent Mr. Brown this correspondence…

Mr. Brown,

Are you sure it’s a bull? I think it could be a lion.


I waited breathlessly for Mr. Brown’s response – wondering if he would agree with me or if he would insist that he was right, at which point I would be forced to suspend all further communication with him.

Mr. Brown answered back with this…

Why, yes, now that I look at it more closely, it IS a lion. And, looking closely, I do believe the lion-rider may be a woman. Yes it certainly is. A chubby little woman. No doubt sent up there to clean the chimney (with her Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.).

I wrote him back and I said this!!!

Dear Mr. Brown,

Who are you calling CHUBBY!?!




Mr. Brown’s answer came quickly…

Of course not you!!! The daring lady on the back of the lion can’t be mistaken for you. You’re not chubby and you don’t do chimneys.


I am not sure what he means with the whole “I don’t do chimneys” remark, but he did retract the chubby statement and he said I was right about the lion. I think I have found not only a new roof inspector but also a new friend. We may have bonded over bull, but as long as he keeps sending me e-mails like this, our future looks bright.

Thanks for the letters Mr. Brown!

Kind of chubby,

Rechelle

Postal Script

A few days ago, I sent Mr. Brown an e-mail to let him know that I was considering using our recent correspondence in a post and I am sorry to tell you this… But Mr. Brown’s response was absolutely SHOCKING!

Because I found out that Mr. Brown is not a Mister!

Mr. Brown is actually a Missus!

After recovering myself from Mr. Brown’s… or…er… uh…Mrs. Brown’s gross misrepresentation of himself… or of herself… or of whoever he/she is -I asked her/him if it would be okay if I referred to her/him as a mister anyway! Because the story… my little story… well… it had to be a man. Mr. Brown had to be a Mister and not a Missus. This whole story… what little there is of it… is preciptiously balanced on a tension between the sexes!  None of it makes any sense if Mister Brown is a Missus Brown!

I told Mr. Brown…. er… uh…Mrs. Brown about my problem and she did not mind at all being represented as a man. She said that she was a former creative writing teacher and stated in yet another very eloquent, yet strangely masculine letter that she could never “stem the flow of a writer’s creative momentum over a mere sex change”.

So I turned Mrs. Brown back into Mr. Brown.

POOF!!

You are now Mister Brown!

And then… in memory of the former Mrs. Brown… I turned the lion back into a bull.

POOF!

You are now a bull!

It was the least that I could do for her…or… uh… him…or… whichever it is!

Comments

  • I tried to comment on Hot Water but you had turned off the comments. I have an opinion on the subject but I was so tired after reading all the comments I decline to express mine. You must have had a reason for stirring that hot water or you were just letting off steam.

  • Are you thinking about posting “Cold Water” soon? Might be funny…

  • Rechelle,
    Do you think that it is a tiger on your roof ?(no relation to Willie) but remember the limerick……
    There once was a young lady of niger
    who smiled as she rode on the back of a tiger
    they came back from the ride
    with the lady inside
    and the smile on the face of the tiger!

  • Anonymous:

    seriously, I always thought that was a real object on your roof! lol. I was positive it was one of those little wind/direction thingymahoppers! go figure.

  • I LOVE the bull on your roof! However, I do believe that’s an Oompa Loompa riding it :)

    Hadn’t checked your blog in awhile (I’ve been busy w/actual work during the day), & I have to say how much I really enjoyed your homeschooling posts. Really. I haven’t even looked at the interminable comments sections (over 100! wow!), but I imagine you’ve opened up quite the can of worms! It might even surpass the edginess of your post about the movie…the movie about a queen?….a queen in England?….about the presidential election, & Keira Knightley was in it – you know what I’m talking about!

  • Glad neither you nor Mr. Brown are full of bull! I always thought the lion was a horse… So glad to hear that it is something far more exotic!

  • jamoody:

    I apparently have no vision or imagination, cause I always assumed it was tree tops!!!!

  • I thought it was Santa…… or his sled and bag of gifts.

  • :-)

  • Carol:

    Mr./Ms. Brown is very observant.

  • Kait:

    I saw that too, I thought it was a weathervane. But NOT the one that attacked you!

  • Kait:

    RE: Your header. Someone else watched the National Parks Ken Burns feature I see. :) LOVE it. Haven’t finished watching all that I taped yet but I will soon. Can’t take all that tension at once you know. Funny how you can get so wound up by things that happened so long ago.

  • Jennifer:

    I think it admirable that you and Mr. Brown carefully and objectively considered the supposed object on your roof and that you both accepted the fact that you had differing opinions on the subject.
    (I think it looks like someone on a tractor)

  • Well, I thought it looked like someone on a horse, but don’t listen to me, I’m full of it …….. bull……that is…….

    Love it!! :)

  • Bridget:

    Oh know it is someone in an airplane.

  • Bridget:

    Oh NO it is someone in airplane.

  • why is Mrs. Brown mascarading as a Mr.? I think there’s another post in this…

  • The Browns:

    (GASP!!!) We’re famous! At least MySister’sFarmhouse famous.
    Enjoyed our conversation!

  • Very observant Mr. or Mrs. and what a great post!!

  • DirtyKSmama - Nikki:

    Grateful for people like the Browns in the world. (Plural Browns? Or is he/she referring to himself/herself as a duo? My brain hurts now. And yet I’m intrigued…)

  • Tammra:

    And I shall continue to believe that it is a weather vane on the ridge of the roof of the perfect farmhouse. Or, now that I look, a wee more closely perhaps a fish. No matter. It’s a weather vane on the roof.

    However I would like info on the tree/shrub/thing??? with Giraffe horns on the lawn in front of the basement window.

  • And all I can here in my head is “Mrs Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter….”

  • Kim K. in Western PA:

    Are we talking about the lady with the broom to the left of the chimney who is running at the bull and it’s rider to the right of the chimney?

  • I believe it is a bull. A longhorn perhaps!

  • Michelle S:

    It is a bull & a matador!

  • Michelle S:

    Or a drunkard on a cow… not sure which!

  • Don Quixote

  • Sandy in MI:

    What I’ve always wondered is what is the orange on your steps? Are they pumpkins lined up or the coat of your mom’s fabulous red/orange coat/dress combo in a semi-artful pile?

  • Weird, but cool.

    I love Don Quixote. Bring on those windmills.

    I always feel like I’m out of place.

  • Freth:

    Depending on how closely you zoom in, that does look like a lady and a bull … or a lion … or a bull.

    The blog does seem a bit stuck on the other topic. Perhaps time to move on … :-p