As soon as people discover I have fresh lettuce in my garden, they start talkin’ wilted lettuce.
Oh! You have to try some wilted lettuce they say…
My grandmother always made wilted lettuce…
We ate wilted lettuce when I was a kid…
Have you made any wilted lettuce yet?..
I had never even heard of wilted lettuce, but I managed to wangle the recipe out of my pastor to whom I recently gave a bag of my fresh garden greens.
But I must warn you…
This recipe is not an easy one…
Fry the bacon…
Does anyone else feel like I am overstating the obvious here?
While hosting a celebrity milk-off, your bacon will mysteriously disappear.
Fry some more bacon.
I certainly hope you had the foresight to soak your lettuce a bit and then gather it into a pillowcase.
Get a young’un to swing the heck out of that pillow case.
‘Tis penance for the stolen bacon.
Take a tablespoon of bacon grease out of the pan.
I’m starting to wonder if I should write a bacon grease cookbook.
Add the bacon grease to a small mixing bowl along with a tablespoon of vinegar…
And a teaspoon of brown sugar.
And yes, that is a tablespoon of brown sugar in the photo, but that is only because I couldn’t be bothered to find a teaspoon. After the celebrity milk-off, I was far too weak and shaky to hunt for a teaspoon in my kitchen, but a tablespoon really is more sugar than you need. If you use a tablespoon, like I did, you will have to add more vinegar and that will result in adding more bacon grease and before you know it you will have filled every jar in your kitchen with this concoction in an attempt to try and find the right mix, and I really don’t want that to happen to you.
I also added a little salt.
Do I seriously need to post a photo of the adding of the salt?
Surely you can picture it in your mind!
When you get the mix adjusted to what you think tastes good, pour it right on top of your lettuce and mix well.
I also added some sweet olive tomatoes…
And whatever few scraps of bacon that I managed to protect from my kids.
Next, because you are a total weirdo, take your salad for a tour of your yard.
Then hurry back inside because the wind is blowing your salad all over the place.
Eat your first bite ever of wilted greens.
I gotta tell you this whole bacon grease thing is a pretty good idea.
I think I might get to work on that cookbook.
Right after I finish the celebrity milk off.