Oracle Out of Control at Pool Party

May 30th, 2009

For Memorial Day weekend, we drove to southeast Kansas to visit one of the CD’s sisters and her family.





Because clearly…








They have a backyard pool.






Things were going along swimmingly.  Swarms of cousins filled the pool, the yard, and the house.  There was a mountain of barbecue and all the fixin’s.  I contributed a salad made from my very own garden.  It was a very nice party.








The Country Doctor started showing off.







Wearing a hideous, grotesquely unstylish pair of orange swim trunks, he commandeered the diving board  and began doing his very special, one of a kind, signature, cartwheel dive over and over and over again.  








The Orcale quickly snapped.  

He couldn’t take it.  

“Stop it!’  he screamed.  ”Stop doing those insane cartwheels off the diving board!”  

“No one!  NO ONE!  Especially these young impressionable boys should have to watch that!”  he shouted.

“Put on a shirt, and sit down and drink a beer like a man!” He rampaged.



The Country Doctor refused to listen.




So the Oracle took matters in his own hands, grabbed a hard rubber ball and zinged it at his brother in mid-jump.





The Country Doctor was hit!






The Oracle was triumphant!

Gleeful, he picked the ball up again…






And began bombarding whatever innocent child happened to be jumping off the board…








Once enraged, it is hard to shut an Oracle down.  

With his wrath in full throttle…

he did throttle…

and then he throttled some more…

All the tender and exposed flesh of any young’un who dared to dive thereafter.







But even the blistering beatings of his own children and their accompanying plaintive wails did not stop the Country Doctor from doing his special, signature, one of a kind cartwheel dive over and over and over again.  


You see…


The Country Doctor learned at a very young age…


that enraging the Oracle…


is half the fun.


  • You just have to love Brother’s!

    My 3 boy’s have the same thing..
    Bothering is really part and parcel of the whole event!

    Looks like a great time was had by all!

  • Until the photo of the Oracle flinging the ball, I would have sworn your CD was wearing a white t-shirt with those orange trunks. :)

  • Jill:

    The Oracle looks just like his portrait. I love the way the porch people turned their chairs to watch the shenanigans – looks like everyone had fun!

  • caren:

    I bet they have lots of stories of what they did to each other when they were younger. I bet your boys love to hear them too. Looks like so much fun. Summer is so much fun!

  • Sandy:

    Too funny!!!

  • Southeast Kansas, you say?? I wonder where… that’s where I’m from originally, now relocated to NE OK! Ran into people from Coffeyville at Mardel’s today… small, small, beautiful world where people can have such fun with family. Awesome.

  • Yes, the Oracle does, does, does look like his portrait. Excellent!

  • Enjoying the heck out of your blog. New reading material for my summer and it’s FUN! Thank you for all the great book recommendations too. I’m parched for lack of a good read lately.

  • DirtyKSmama:

    It’s almost midnight and Hubby and I are laughing with tears in ours eyes as we read this. Hilarious! Great post. Hope we don’t wake the kids.

  • Funny post. The Oracle does look like the portrait. That in itself cracks me up. How did the Oracle get his name? Or is it obvious?

    • If you ever have the pleasure to meet an Oracle be it my Oracle or any other Oracle, you will know why they are called Oracles. They just know things and even if they don’t know things, they have this ability to convince people that they do know things. And if you don’t listen to them, they throw things at you.

  • Charlene:

    Brothers! What are ya gonna’ do? I am also wondering how/why the Oracle got his name. Do tell!

  • That’s hilarious. I love it. Those are definitely some funky dives CD is doing…and Oracle snapping is even hilariouser….

  • Oh yes, the CD has learned the one and only true lesson of childhood!

    Hilarious post!

  • Janet:

    Thanks, that was fun!!!

  • Nancy:

    Looks like all the men and boys had a great time. Hope the women did too!

  • LOL!!! Enraging Oracles is fun, gotta agree with the Doctor on that one…

  • That just looks like so much fun! I miss pool parties…

  • Ah, that’s great, Rechelle. Boys will be boys, and I”m not talking about all those cousins! This reminds me of the time three middle age men tried to stand on their head to the aghast of everyone present who assumed anyreisms and strokes were about to take place.

  • I think I love you. And CD. HYSTERICAL!

    And the pics are fantastic.

  • joann tx:

    love it!
    you all really have a fun time
    at family gatherings! :)

    joann in TX