The Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse

April 18th, 2009

First, you select your wardrobe.





There are boots, hats, coats…






And chaps…






Clay quickly learned how to properly manipulate them.







The Country Doctor got more country than he has ever gotten before.






And by the way, this photo was not taken at night.

It is dark outside that window because the sun has not yet risen.




Marlboro Man picked us up at the lodge, and Ree met us at the place where they keep their horses.





Marlboro Man and his two daughters got everyone saddled up.




And that’s when the three horsemen of the apocalypse showed up.






I did not get to spend much time with Ree’s girls…

but if you ever thought that maybe they were pretty sweet

just by looking at their photos on their mother’s blog…


you were wrong.

They are far sweeter.

And do they ever know their way around a horse.

And a ten day old calf.





While their mom knows her way around one of these thingys…



You may have seen a few photos like this one before.






And maybe also a few that looked like this…






As hard as they all tried…






They could not make the old ‘point from a horse’ look as good as Marlboro Man makes it look.





Sorry honey…

but… no.




And then something amazing happened!

Right in front of my eyeballs.  

A baby calf tried to run away from the herd!

Marlboro Man chased it down on his horse!

He twirled his rope above his head!

And lassoed that little cow right back to where it belonged!

Do you understand what I am saying here?

Let me slow it down a bit…

MM sped across a pasture… on a horse… and caught a running cow… with a rope.

As if he had done it a million times before…

As if he did that kind of thing every day.

As if it were nothing!

The same way that other people blink, or swallow, or breathe.





And then for some reason… all the cows lined up in a perfect row to eat.





And we headed back to the lodge for breakfast.


And no honey….

I was not on a horse.







Do you think I am insane?


  • I. Cant. Stand. It.

  • Theresa in Alberta:

    I would need country chiropractor and Baileys Irish Cream in my coffee to get me onto that horse! You’all are good sports, have a great time :-)

  • That is so cool. I sooo can’t believe you’re at Ree’s ranch. What a lucky CDW you are!

  • I am soooooo jealous.

  • Debbie from Illinois:

    So did you behave yourself????? ;D

  • Orghlaith:

    Thank you. I have not laughed this hard in a long time.

    Now I need to go change my clothes.


  • Ha Ha HA!
    Wait, you mean the Thee Horse *People* of the Apocalypse. April is definitely not a man. Although in that hat, in the darkness of dawn, I could see….. no, never mind!

    Loved the hand gestures. You’re right – MM has it down pat.

  • So you are the weird one, huh.

  • Fran:

    Now I know what PW and MM rebuilt the lodge for! This is almost as good as being there myself! Have fun!

  • Sandra in Phx:

    So insanely jealous that you are staying at the Lodge!! I am sure you will have a great time.

  • Dude… this is so surreal… and I’m not even the one there!


  • Oh, man, you’re killin’ me. Torturing and teasing me beyond belief.

    I want to see MM point from a horse.
    I want to see Ree with a camera and her sweet girls.
    I want to see the Lodge.
    and the cows and the mustangs…

    Hilarious photos. Love the post.

  • Anonymous:

    You are so lucky! Glad to see you there. :D

  • That anonymous was me. :D :D

  • That is so friggen cool! I wonder if Ree would let us come take a vacation at the Lodge! My kids could play with her kids, she could teach me about cooking country food! It would rock! (and maybe by the end of the trip I would feel better about taking my camera off the autofocus setting!)

  • Well, it’s about time you and April quit being all mysterios-o and revealed your plans for the weekend…….

  • Welcome to the world of ranchlife… dontcha just love moving cows now??? You did this, I moved some pairs today, but funniest of all was Just Another Day on the Prairie’s entry for today… gee, did I laugh and laugh!

  • Margaret in Huntington Beach:

    This is so cool. First I clicked onto Pioneer Woman & then I recognized you & your husband. OK, I also recognized April. But to see you guys on Pioneer Woman’s website & then see the Lodge on your website makes my head spin. I’m glad you were close enough to do this.

    I don’t think I will ever make it from Orange County CA to OK. Now if Ree had married What’s His Name & moved to Newport Beach… But then she wouldn’t have been Pioneer Woman, so it wouldn’t have been the same.

    Have fun & raise a glass for me.

  • Now – do you really want me to answer that last question? I think you already know the answer! ;-)

  • How Freakin’ Amazing!!!

    You actually got to visit and see PW and MM up close and personal. And nobody was involved in a horse wreak. And you managed to actually get on the horse … as opposed to tipping off the other side … !!!!!!


  • Looks like you had to work hard for your breakfast. What fun! I think I stay away from the horses though…they don’t like me.


  • I like all of the pointing pictures! :)
    Looks like you all are having a really fun time. What did she cook?

  • This is just SO way cool. It’s like three of my favorite blogs coming together. No. Really.
    I think CD looks very MM with the three finger point. Altho maybe a little more General in Charge of the Troopsesque.
    Love hearing about your adventures! And it’s neat to know that MM is really “all that” that Ree says he is. I mean, I thought maybe she was just partial. But he really ropes things. Very cool.

  • Oh my goodness, how much fun. We’re in Kansas too!

  • I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how jealous I am of y’all! I’m TRYING to be happy for you & Lirpa (what fun! PLUS, you’re getting even more readers!), but waaaahhh! I wanna go too! I have an important question: what have y’all been eatin’??

  • SoCalLynn:

    I am so envious! I want to live near OK or KS so we can go to Ree and MM’s ranch! I want my DD9 to be BFF’s with Ree’s DD9! I would love to ride horses at dawn.

    Wow, how great for you guys! BTW, I found your blog through Pioneer Woman. I love your sense of humor.


  • Nancy:

    I would love the chance to ride a gentle horse on PW’s ranch and stay there for some R&R. You are so lucky to get to be there! Have fun.

  • What an awesome experience for all of you! Have a super time – I’ll have the cupcakes ready when you get back. :)

  • Loved the post! You got some shots that are “never see” over at Pie-near Woman! Yay! Glad you got to go… and glad you got to ride in the truck! (I don’t do well on horseback at all! That’s where I’d want to be!)

    Suzanne @

  • Kim:

    I am sooooo stinkin jealous!!

    That looks like so much fun..

    Whoa can’t believe I just said 4am, stinky cattle, rear end I been on a horse all day achin, chaps wearin looked fun…but it sure does.

    Glad you guys had a ball!!

  • joann tx:

    what a fun time ya’ll must have had at the ranch! i love the map P dub sent you! LOL! thanks for a glance at your cowboy weekend!

    joann in TX

  • My first thought was, “oh my gosh. it’s like the 3 stooges go country!” I think we need to share a drink and discuss this little getaway.