CDW Talkin’ Corn Stove

November 28th, 2008

Please!

Please!

PLEASE!!!!

PLEEEEEAAAAAAASE!!!!



We have been talking corn stove for two solid hours now.  TWO SOLID HOURS!  I know everything you could possibly know about corn stoves.  Go ahead and ask me.  
GO AHEAD!!!  
ASK ME!!!!


 When we are not talkin’ corn stove.. we are talkin’ “grain comfort”.  If we aren’t talkin’ “grain comfort” we are talking “exotic animal auction”  where you kin git yerself an emu with a broken leg for five dollars.  

Anyone in the market for an emu with a broken leg? 


Anyone???



ANYONE!!!!

Did you know that there are “hay stoves” into which you can shove an entire round bale of hay and it will heat your house for a month?  
Clay says he knows of a stove that you can shove an entire elephant into it and it can heat your house for a YEAR! 
If you ever get a wood stove, you want to get you an exterior one, but the “grain comfort” is far better as it burns cleaner than alcohol.  Besides, if you live in Kansas it makes no sense to burn wood, as there are no trees in Kansas.  There aren’t any elephants in Kansas either, so you really want to go “grain comfort”.  
The klinkers from a “grain comfort” are the size of a mouse turd and you don’t even need to vent it.  Stick one in the middle of your living room.  It burns as clean as alcohol.  The klinkers on the “grain comfort” exist but they can’t be seen by the naked human eye.  
Besides, with all that alcohol and all that nakedness, who cares if you are poisoned with carbon monoxide?
The next step is to erect a cinder block building and fill the holes with foam insulation.  Run a series of pipes from the cinder block building to your house and then shove a bale of hay in your living room, pour kerosene on it, set it afire and heat your home for free for a year.  
If the auger is as big as your pinky you are going to struggle, but if it is as big as you “other finger” you can switch over to corn, wheat, or rye which burns like alcohol producing a pile of ash so miraculously small, you will mistake it for invisible mouse turds.  
The only way to get your hay, wheat, corn or rye is to find a farmer who happens to have some laying around that he doesn’t need.  He will give it to you for free.  Then you can heat your house for free.  Pretty much all farmers have extra hay, wheat, corn and rye laying around.  All you have to do is ask.  If they don’t have any hay, wheat, corn or rye, ask for an elephant.  If they don’t have an elephant, ask for an emu with a broken leg.  
Dig a series of underground tunnels that connect the cement hole to your home.  Place an auger in your living room.  A pipe will run across the room from the hole in the wall to the stove in the middle of your living room.  Your wife will hate you forever due to the holes and the obscene, naked, alcohol burning “grain comfort” in the middle of her living room, but who cares?  Did she find the farmer with the free broken leg emu?  I don’t think so.
A pair of mated emus normally cost around twenty thousand dollars, but if you don’t mind an emu with a broken leg, it will only cost you five bucks.  I got mine at the exotic animal auction. Get the ones with the broken legs.  Saves you a bundle that way.  
Whatever you say… say it with authority.  That is all you really need to know about emus, “grain comfort”, klinkers, augers, anything.  If you are forced to take an anger management class someday due to a speeding ticket, you will know you have reached the pinnacle of success.

CDW Talkin' Corn Stove

November 28th, 2008

Please!

Please!

PLEASE!!!!

PLEEEEEAAAAAAASE!!!!



We have been talking corn stove for two solid hours now.  TWO SOLID HOURS!  I know everything you could possibly know about corn stoves.  Go ahead and ask me.  
GO AHEAD!!!  
ASK ME!!!!


 When we are not talkin’ corn stove.. we are talkin’ “grain comfort”.  If we aren’t talkin’ “grain comfort” we are talking “exotic animal auction”  where you kin git yerself an emu with a broken leg for five dollars.  

Anyone in the market for an emu with a broken leg? 


Anyone???



ANYONE!!!!

Did you know that there are “hay stoves” into which you can shove an entire round bale of hay and it will heat your house for a month?  
Clay says he knows of a stove that you can shove an entire elephant into it and it can heat your house for a YEAR! 
If you ever get a wood stove, you want to get you an exterior one, but the “grain comfort” is far better as it burns cleaner than alcohol.  Besides, if you live in Kansas it makes no sense to burn wood, as there are no trees in Kansas.  There aren’t any elephants in Kansas either, so you really want to go “grain comfort”.  
The klinkers from a “grain comfort” are the size of a mouse turd and you don’t even need to vent it.  Stick one in the middle of your living room.  It burns as clean as alcohol.  The klinkers on the “grain comfort” exist but they can’t be seen by the naked human eye.  
Besides, with all that alcohol and all that nakedness, who cares if you are poisoned with carbon monoxide?
The next step is to erect a cinder block building and fill the holes with foam insulation.  Run a series of pipes from the cinder block building to your house and then shove a bale of hay in your living room, pour kerosene on it, set it afire and heat your home for free for a year.  
If the auger is as big as your pinky you are going to struggle, but if it is as big as you “other finger” you can switch over to corn, wheat, or rye which burns like alcohol producing a pile of ash so miraculously small, you will mistake it for invisible mouse turds.  
The only way to get your hay, wheat, corn or rye is to find a farmer who happens to have some laying around that he doesn’t need.  He will give it to you for free.  Then you can heat your house for free.  Pretty much all farmers have extra hay, wheat, corn and rye laying around.  All you have to do is ask.  If they don’t have any hay, wheat, corn or rye, ask for an elephant.  If they don’t have an elephant, ask for an emu with a broken leg.  
Dig a series of underground tunnels that connect the cement hole to your home.  Place an auger in your living room.  A pipe will run across the room from the hole in the wall to the stove in the middle of your living room.  Your wife will hate you forever due to the holes and the obscene, naked, alcohol burning “grain comfort” in the middle of her living room, but who cares?  Did she find the farmer with the free broken leg emu?  I don’t think so.
A pair of mated emus normally cost around twenty thousand dollars, but if you don’t mind an emu with a broken leg, it will only cost you five bucks.  I got mine at the exotic animal auction. Get the ones with the broken legs.  Saves you a bundle that way.  
Whatever you say… say it with authority.  That is all you really need to know about emus, “grain comfort”, klinkers, augers, anything.  If you are forced to take an anger management class someday due to a speeding ticket, you will know you have reached the pinnacle of success.