Browsing Archives for October 2008

A Visit to the Specialists

October 8th, 2008

On a recent visit to my quadracurny spare ribathesiologist, I encountered three specialists who were all too willing to tell me what was wrong with my skeletized innards.

As you can see ma’am…. you cross lateral bypass has seriously interferred with your hydrocephaletic nerve stream causing pressure on you stickiloital scrapula.

What?

You think I lack experience?

You want to talk to someone with more knowledge?

Fine!

I’ll see who I can find.

Hmmmm…

I’m sorry ma’am… but I completely agree with my colleague. Your scrapula is severely inclined to the posterior and your posterior… if you don’t mind me saying… is severely inclined to your other posterior.

This calls for radical… immediate… and dare I say extremely expensive intervention!

What?

You don’t trust me either!

Where do we get these patients?

Always questioning… questioning… questioning. It never ends!

Alright!

There is one more guy who may be able to settle your qualms.

Actually… I’m not sure if those first two jokers were right at all!

Clearly, the problem is residing in the hindicus quartercus and not at all the posterior posterior.

What are they teaching in medical school these days???

I mean look! It is so obvious!

Your fallupian freternauts are all over the place!

And check out those loopy loos!

They have migrated clear down to your tentralucus minor!

Which is actually pretty major!

I am going to have to recommend a massive overhaul – starting with your tongue and working slowly and painfully down to you toe nails. We need to get you checked in right away. I hope you haven’t eaten anything today.

What’s that?

You want to try another clinic?

Okay, but we’ll be waiting for you when you come crawling back.

I have heard those guys down the road are complete wack jobs!

23 comments

Filed under: The Boys, The Country Doctor

Cottonwood Falls and Love's Fatal Arrow

October 6th, 2008

A recent trip with my bookclub to historic Cottonwood Falls Kansas, a jewel of a small town set right in the center of the Flint Hills, set my pulse to racing and my heart to pattering, as I was able to view some very fine architectural details in the Chase County Courthouse as well as tour a beautiful turn of the century farmhouse.

WooHoo! Was that a run-on sentence or what?

Maybe I should break it down in an outline so it will be easier to grasp…

1. Book club to Cottonwood Falls

a. Jewel of a small town

b. Center of the Flint Hills

c. Pulse races

d. Heart goes pitter pat

2. Chase County Court House

a. Beautiful architectural details

b. I got to see ‘em

3. Farmhouse

a. Turn of the century

b. Still clinging to the butler’s pantry.

c. Wait! That comes later

d. Nevermind!

What more could an architecture junkie ask for?

The courthouse, which is currently undergoing an extensive renovation features some massive trim. The windows have deep sills that are set into the thick limestone walls of the 1872 building.

A curving staircase reaches all the way to the third floor.

As you ascend, you can visit the courtroom.

And the jail, where I hope your stay will be very brief!

Many lovely sights will greet you once you again gain your freedom…

…and begin your descent back into the town itself.

Where, if you don’t stop for a piece of pie at the Emma Chase Cafe, with your friend and your other friend… you might as well not have come in the first place!

The main event of the day for me, was touring the childhood home of my friend Nancy, of Three Blondes and the Law.

Other than the addition of a main floor bathroom and mudroom, this gorgeous turn of the century farmhouse has not been altered in any significant way from it’s original floor plan.

Which includes a Butler’s Pantry…

A Butler’s Pantry…

A Butler’s Pantry that I fell deeply, deeply, DEEPLY in love with.

I also struggled in leaving this dining room behind.

But not nearly as much as I struggled in disentangling myself from the heated embrace of the butler’s pantry.

There were some trim details that included an outer ribbon of chocolaty wood encasing a rich golden inner layer of wood that did cause me to suffer a few unladylike palpitations.

And an INGLENOOK that brought me to my knees!

Until I remembered the butler’s pantry and all that we had been through.

His noble gait, his broad shoulders, his steady gaze, and I re-pledged my troth to be his and his alone and I felt whole and unviolated again.

So that the “come hither” curve of a certain beguiling stone wall.

and the ferocious virility of a large red barn may have caused me to tremble for a second… or two seconds… or maybe three…

Still… nothing made me as fluttery and as weak kneed, and as quivery as the love of my fragile youth… the butler’s pantry.

And our love will live on in my heart… like a quiet burning ember of love… stricken through by the cruel arrow of fate… but still beating, beating, beating… and yes still… throbbing, throbbing, throbbing…. and still quivering, quivering, quivering… like a green gelatin salad… with sweet little marshmallows inside… quivering in love… quaking in love… until the sands of time are no more.

Fare thee well my love.

Fare

Thee

Well…

19 comments

Filed under: Inspiration

Hand Made Barn Doors

October 2nd, 2008

On my days off from work, I have a strong tendency to occupy myself with the one or more of the following activites.

1. Stare blankly into space for hours.

2. Stare blankly at ceiling fan for hours.

3. Attempt to guide tea and sandwich into mouth while staring blankly at walls and fan.

4. Miss mouth while trying for several minutes to guide tea and sandwich into cheek, ear, eyebrow, and forehead.

5. Finally, find mouth and give self food and drink.

6. Wipe drool from chin with back of hand.

7. Nap.

The Country Doctor on the other hand is a whole different animal. He happily gyrates from one insane project to another. A few days ago he informed me that “September was yard month” and “October is barn month.” To celebrate the start of “Barn Month” the Country Doctor built himself some doors.