A Visit to the Specialists

October 8th, 2008
On a recent visit to my quadracurny spare ribathesiologist, I encountered three specialists who were all too willing to tell me what was wrong with my skeletized innards.

As you can see ma’am…. you cross lateral bypass has seriously interferred with your hydrocephaletic nerve stream causing pressure on you stickiloital scrapula.

What?

You think I lack experience?

You want to talk to someone with more knowledge?

Fine!

I’ll see who I can find.


Hmmmm…


I’m sorry ma’am… but I completely agree with my colleague. Your scrapula is severely inclined to the posterior and your posterior… if you don’t mind me saying… is severely inclined to your other posterior. 

This calls for radical… immediate… and dare I say extremely expensive intervention!

What?

You don’t trust me either!

Where do we get these patients?

Always questioning… questioning… questioning. It never ends!

Alright! 

There is one more guy who may be able to settle your qualms. 

Actually… I’m not sure if those first two jokers were right at all!

Clearly, the problem is residing in the hindicus quartercus and not at all the posterior posterior.

What are they teaching in medical school these days???

I mean look! It is so obvious! 
Your fallupian freternauts are all over the place! 
And check out those loopy loos!

They have migrated clear down to your tentralucus minor! 

Which is actually pretty major!

I am going to have to recommend a massive overhaul – starting with your tongue and working slowly and painfully down to you toe nails. We need to get you checked in right away. I hope you haven’t eaten anything today.

What’s that?

You want to try another clinic?

Okay, but we’ll be waiting for you when you come crawling back.

I have heard those guys down the road are complete wack jobs!

Comments

  • Sharon:

    Now I know why I avoid going at all costs. l)

  • Anonymous:

    Hmmmmmmm, maybe you should get “another Opinion”. Those 3 specialists are kindda cute :-)signedTheresa in Alberta

  • Anonymous:

    Hmmmmmmm, maybe you should get “another Opinion”. Those 3 specialists are kindda cute :-)signedTheresa in Alberta

  • chocolatechic:

    Loved this post.

  • hayseed:

    I’m inclined to agree with the third guy!

  • lailani:

    Too cute . . .Have a great day!

  • yardsailor:

    You made an old retired X-ray tech smile this morning, thanks

  • Heidi:

    LOL…. That last guy is the one I would worry about – he is part of the reason the first 3 are wack jobs!! LOL The poor guy’s xray your looking at looks like he swallowed somthing – did you xray Lispy? He has been known to eat unusual objects at times, or attempt it.As far as the overhaul – baby go for it!! LOL not that you need it….. sheesh, I’ll shut up now.

  • Rhea:

    OMG, I got the exact same diagnosis the other day!Love your lingo, awesome post!

  • This DVM's Wife's Life:

    That’s why my DVM husband does all of my x-rays, not to mention I like to be in the dark room with him. LOL!

  • This DVM's Wife's Life:

    That’s why my DVM husband does all of my x-rays, not to mention I like to be in the dark room with him. LOL!

  • se7en:

    Why do these professionals always – and I mean always, recommend complete overhauls, when quite clearly all you need is a week at a guest farm: with three farm meals served a day, preferably in a snug bed with fresh crisp linen. A splendid tea in a shady spot twice a day and the only luggage you are allowed to take is a suitcase packed to the brim with all the books you are dying to read… past favorites and any new ones with hot potential.

  • Scrappy Girl:

    My 3 girls love to go to their dad’s office…they raid the sucker and sticker drawers.

  • Caution Flag:

    Get help, Rechelle – the sooner, the better.

  • Beth:

    I don’t know about the diagnosis, but I hear the Dr. Pepper at that clinic is good. :)

  • Alisa:

    You make me laugh.

  • Lori R:

    I don’t know why you would want another opinion–those first 3 guys sound pretty smart to me. Besides, they’re drinking their doctor juice, so they must know what they’re talking about!

  • Marilyn:

    Somehow, this was very Three Stooges – and very funny!

  • Baba:

    Gave me my morning chuckle. Thanks!

  • Ree Drummond:

    Holy mother of pearl.Scrapula.I once called it a “scalpel” on my blog…only, I wasn’t joking.

  • - C -:

    that’s too funny

  • J'Ollie Primitives:

    those guys obviously don’t know their stickiloital scrapula from their posterior lateral rami.You clearly have a case of obfusticational laryngeal torrentium. Shopping is the only cure. Chocolate helps. You’ll be better in no time!Those are some cute docs!

  • J'Ollie Primitives:

    those guys obviously don’t know their stickiloital scrapula from their posterior lateral rami.You clearly have a case of obfusticational laryngeal torrentium. Shopping is the only cure. Chocolate helps. You’ll be better in no time!Those are some cute docs!