The Legendary Algae Hunters of Olden Timeth

July 22nd, 2008

Long ago in the days of yore….

As pink and purple dusk woman shot magenta rays across the little water.

In the season of bone baking fire time…

Only the most skilled and brave men would be sent forth to load their sailing vessels with the sacred crop of algae.

So that the tribe could feed itself… and make clothes… and build the simple tent like structures…  woven from the sacred algae threads.

The hearty and brave men placed themselves in great peril to get the sacred algae, but they all loved to suffer so much that it was almost fun for them.

Deeper and deeper into the murky depths they ventured, carefully avoiding the snapping turtles and the water snakes…

Neighboring tribes had long ago abandoned the algae harvest.

They had begun to sprinkle the mystical powders and to use the magic enzymes to keep the algae from forming.

They had forgotten the ancient rhythms of olde.

And so the last lone tribesman worked on and on… as mother sun descended to her cave of night… and father moon rose to his lofty perch… the tribesman trusted to the wisdom of the song frogs to guide him.

Neck deep he continued… scooping algae…. loading algae…. 
He mused quietly that the more he scooped… the more there seemed to be. 
 

It was as if the algae muse was granting him a blessing of an unending algae tide.  
He drew the algae vapors into his nostrils and felt complete.

Night descended.  The tribe slept.  The algae drifted and multiplied and the tribesman drug his heavily laden boat up on the shore.  His shoes squished with the mud of his ancestors.   He dug his hand into his mountain of algae and raised it to the sky in triumph and felt vast relief knowing his tribe would eat, and be clothed and be sheltered for the algae harvest had been bountiful.  


Dripping water and mud he wandered back into his hut.

Tomorrow they would feast, and weave and build.
 

But tonight he must rest.   
He shut his eyes and slept the sleep of the deeply satisfied.
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Comments

  • Heidi:

    ROFLMBO!!! Girl, where do you come up with these???? I hopeth that he was rewardedeth with somthing to eateth!!! LOL

  • Anonymous:

    Wow, wow, wow – these last 2 blog entries got me laughing. Loved it!! Laura

  • Stephanie:

    So very funny….why does it seem that men are only a few steps removed from their caveman days….women would have sprinkled thechemicals and sat on the porchenjoying the beautiful sunset…

  • Stephanie:

    So very funny….why does it seem that men are only a few steps removed from their caveman days….women would have sprinkled thechemicals and sat on the porchenjoying the beautiful sunset…

  • Donna Boucher:

    Beautifully written Rechelle.

  • Jeanette from Texas:

    You should have made him wear something more tribal looking. The goode and swedde shirt doesn’t fit the mood of the story.Why is he doing that anyway? Did you give him another boring to do list? He reads fix the faucet, nail down the base board, He thinks, maybe I should go clean out the pond. You must have company coming.

  • Rechelle:

    Yes Jeanette – I asked him to unload the dishwasher so he had to go and find something hard and painful to do again. At least I wasn’t expecting company this time!

  • Debbie:

    You had me going. I thought you were putting pictures with an ole epic. I’m just too girlie, I can’t stand to touch anything that will squish…. Great post, Thanks

  • Jenni:

    LOL! This may be my favorite post yet. Hilarious yet almost poetic. You have a gift, Rechelle, and I can also tell you watched 10,000 BC recently. Thanks for the recommendation, BTW. We enjoyed it here. I’m going to show this to my girls before I make them dredge muck out of the small pond again.

  • PAT:

    The “elderly gentleman” I live with would say get yourself some Carp! But it wouldn’t be as much fun as reading your story and seeing your pictures, Rechelle! This one is another gem!I see I still have time to enter the drawing! Better get to that!Pat

  • Anonymous:

    Great post. Beautiful pictures. Your home looked lovely in the background. Margie (I post anonymously because I don’t have an account.)

  • MUD:

    I don’t get it? He is doing the heroic thing and saving you from algae and he is met with scorn and ridicule. Build a pond and things grow. OH well, MUD

  • Suzanne:

    That’s a stinking job. Wouldn’t it help to oxygenate the pond?I’m just trying to save that hunter/gatherer from injury.- Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  • Jenny:

    Someone may need to call National Geographic! We may have found THE last tribe to be untouched by civilization!

  • Marilyn:

    Very funny, Rechelle – but I actually love the pictures. The ancient light is beautiful.

  • Marilyn:

    Very funny, Rechelle – but I actually love the pictures. The ancient light is beautiful.

  • Literarysnob:

    I wonder what the great algae hunter thinks about your telling tales of his harvest adventiures??Great story to go with your pictures!

  • Literarysnob:

    I wonder what the great algae hunter thinks about your telling tales of his harvest adventiures??Great story to go with your pictures!

  • coffee and queso:

    what a brave tribesman! and what a mucky task! :)

  • Junebug:

    That was good! And hilarious. I hope you have some clothing to show for this effort. Algae, I mean. Is there really something magical to sprinkle in the water for algae, like in a fish tank? How about getting an algae-eating fish? I tried plescotomis in my fish tank. He just keeps getting bigger and pooping more in the tank. I am going to have to get rid of him soon because he is too big for my tank. Could he come to your lake?

  • Sand Flat Farm:

    Howdy from Texas! Don’t know where you come up with this stuff, but it sure is funny! I read some of earlier posts that kept me in tears from laughing. I’ll check back with you – started my day off with a smile! Thanks- Vickie

  • Dejoni:

    Aren’t their chemicals for this? Why would you do this? Isn’t there something more productive to do…like pick your toenails or nose?Why???Why????Why???Don’t feel bad…I’m married to one just like him. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think “What the hell was I thinking?”

  • Anonymous:

    Wow, I got the same thrill out of reading this post as I did from seeing those Amazonian tribesmen who were recently discovered, harassed, and photographed. I feel like I need to go get me some algae. Or get me a man who’d go get me some algae. Yep–that’s more like it.Kymm the Anonymous

  • Anonymous:

    OHMIGAWD, my aching, sides. Have you considered, a swimming pond, http://www.pond-doctor-dave.com/swimming-ponds.htmlMrs. C

  • Anonymous:

    OHMIGAWD, my aching, sides. Have you considered, a swimming pond, http://www.pond-doctor-dave.com/swimming-ponds.htmlMrs. C

  • Ivory Spring:

    This is a most fun post!! I enjoyed it!

  • Anonymous:

    Can’t stop laughing…again! You should definately put this story to music and put it on your newest CD, I’d buy it!!*HUGS*Bertie

  • Mary:

    Ahhh, the saga of the algae hunters, one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing your version!

  • Farmchick:

    LOL! I love your blog. It never fails to make me laugh. But, what can you say? Men must be macho and take the hard road! Pour some chemicals in the pond and go drink a beer. My husband would have been out there doing the same thing. Women are so superior….

  • Anonymous:

    Hey Mrs. Doctor….I just “popped” over from PW’s site. Now breath slowwwwwwly now. I really hope the good doctor took a real hot bath before turning in for the night. Theresa in Alberta (Canada eh)

  • the logue mama:

    FUNNY…is he using a lawn rake to pitch moss? haven’t seen that before…my parents own a fish farm and I have a more simplier way of ‘scraping moss’ off the pond … take a 2″ thick x 6″ wide x 6″ long (I think those are the measurements) piece of wood and hammer nails into it about 6 – 8 inches apart…climb in the pond in some waders – started dragging your creation with nails down across the top of the pond…you can push it all to the edge for an easier pitch…I do however love the lawn rake and the canoe…To each their own :)(got here via Ree’s site…)