Browsing Archives for July 2008

Hee Hoo Haw Hee Hoo Haw Hu Hu Ho Ho Hee Hee Haw Haw Hee Hu Haw!
Guess the person who wrote this fortune never vacationed with the  Country Doctor and his four sons!  
But oh how I wish it were true.  
Oh!  Oh Please!  

We traipsed all over the entire city, starting at Telegraph Hill.

Breakfasting at North Beach.  

Yes, my kids had coke for breakfast.  
Yes, that’s right Coke!
And I had a huge bowl of coffee.  
Yes, that’s right a bowl of coffee.  
A bowl.  
I feel so… so… spongy now.

Bananas in Chinatown.  

Ferry Building – I bet no one has ever taken this angle before!

Cable car ride.  I really really want to call the cable cars – trolley cars, because my idea of a cable car is one of those things in the mountains that takes you up to the top.  But in San Francisco – everything is a little different.  
They put coffee in BOWLS for crying out loud!

Dim Sum in Chinatown.  
This is the scene of my relaxing fortune.

This is also where our children started dripping with emotion and consternation and fits of frothy fervor and where they started asking when we were going to a water park or an amusement park or a beach.  And we told them that beaches in San Francisco were cold and terrible and they said IMPOSSIBLE TAKE US TO A BEACH NOW!!!  
So we decided that the only thing to do was to let them find out how miserable beaches in San Francisco were for themselves.

Here are my miserable children.

Miserable and cold and wretched.

Miserable, cold, wretched, and shivering…

I think they have learned a lesson!

While my kids played in the freezing surf for TWO hours…
I laid on the sand and relaxed.
That is I tried to relax… whenever I wasn’t guarding my kids from the aggressively friendly nudist that wanted to tell us all about the rip tides. 
Other than that, it was very relaxing… 

Before we left the house, Drew wanted to make sure the house sitter (my mom) had ample instructions.

We lunched on April’s Veranda en route to the airport.

Who are these boys watching the airplanes take off and land???  Are these my boys?  My boys that think they are soooooo big?  My boys who think they are so grown up and know everything already?  
  

This was Jack’s first flight.  I let his big brother Drew do all the explaining.  

Like how you are supposed to grip your ears throughout the entire flight…

Or at least until the snacks arrived…

Here is  CDW travel tip #1.  When flying Southwest Airlines AKA The Gypsy Wagon of the Skies, you must always request a whole can of whatever beverage you order.  Go ahead.  Just ask for the full can.  Then you will not have to try and subsist on a meager half can for the entire flight. 
I learned this tip from my mom.  
Thanks mom.  
And please hug the cats for Drew.
Oh and trust me – my family is a big part of the gypsy problem.  We did not bring a crate of live chickens on board, but one of my sons contributed greatly to the stench by farting until his insides were on the outside.   Which brings me to CDW travel tip #2 – Do not feed your sons baked beans the day before a flight.   

CDW Travel Tip #3.  If the internet tells you on your blog to bring warm clothes.  Do not scoff.  They are right.  San Francisco is perhaps the coldest place on earth.  And also very bleak.  Cold and bleak, this is San Francisco.  If you are a hearty Midwesterner, you may find this idea hard to wrap your mind around.   It was hard for me.  How can California be cold and bleak? How is that possible?  But it is.  So bring your long underwear.  

CDW Travel Tip #4 –  Get the tourist traps out of the way first.  

We continued our battle against the cold by switching to jeans.  Then we huddled together and tried to create friction to keep warm.  It is not very hard to create friction in our family.

You will buy hot fried food in an attempt to keep warm….

Your youngest, wisest son will choose a corn dog…..

Then you will purchase hot beverages to try and keep warm.  Your youngest son will drop his hot beverage in a store forcing your entire family to have to slink out of the store unnoticed… which yes, brings us to CDW Travel Trip #5 - Practice your slinking skills before traveling with children.  

CDW Trave Tip #6 - Beware the clowns at Fisherman’s Wharf.  

I am not a big fan of buffet style restaurants.

Visions of gravy, next to marinara, next to potato salad, next to green jello, next to ribs, next to macaroni and cheese, next to sliced peaches next to pizza, next to imitation crab salad, next to scalloped potatoes, next to a giant vat of chocolate pudding makes me want to heave into a paper bag.
So on a recent family outing (involving a three minivan caravan to Topeka to see the CD’s brother play at the Topeka Expo Center) no one asked my opinion when it came time to pick the restaurant.

And the lead minivan chose a buffet…

Filled with righteous indignation,  I opted to fast and pray for the souls of my family.

As they chowed down in heathen iniquity…

And I guess they failed to notice that HELLO there was RED JELLO in the CHOCOLATE PUDDING!  


And bright yellow fluffy stuff next to the pears next to cottage cheese next to the green jello, next to the oh… ugh… I am not feeling so well……

Seeking a cure, I sought out the Oracle Known as the Concession Stand when we arrived at the Expo Center.  And behold, I did cease fasting as my family is certainly doomed anyway.
  

And lo, I ordered a corn dog and a diet coke.


And God placed a rainbow….

A DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!!

As the Country Doctor held a baby named NOAH!!!!

The sun and my hunger faded with the corn dog

And a holy and unquenchable fire did enter my belly.
So that I did look unto The CD’s brother in great discomfort…
And a burning question was born.
Can you guess which picker is the Country Doctor’s brother???

Picker #1

P

icker #2

Picker #3

Picker #4
I will choose three winners from the right guesses to receive one of my cd’s.  A compact disc, not a country doctor.   

Contest ends Monday at 8 PM CST.  
Now go forth and multiply and fill the earth.
And for all this is holy and right, Stay Away from The Buffet and The Corn Dogs!