Hanging the Oracle

April 7th, 2008

Oh Dear! That doesn’t sound right does it?!?

I don’t really mean “HANG the oracle

Oh no! I would never even think of HANGING the Oracle.

He is far to valuable to me! Why, if I were to HANG the Oracle, who would the Country Doctor consult when he has a problem to which his wife CLEARLY KNOWS THE ANSWER???

But he has been sitting there… on the floor… staring at the opposite wall for about six months now and it really is time to put him in his proper place.

It’s just that I’m not really sure where his proper place is? I tried placing the Oracle both above and below darling pictures of my boys as toddlers. But that seemed a bit out of whack.

You can just tell by looking at him that he is none too pleased with this idea.

So I laid the Oracle down so we could both have a rest and think things over.

And as I stepped away – something about this particular spot spoke to me… It was as if the Oracle himself was whispering in my ear saying…

Here….

Here….

This is my home….

This is my spot…

So I said a prayer…

And I lit a candle…

And I tried to clear my mind of all distractions…

And I hammered a nail into the wall…

Then I had a snack.

(Don’t tell the Oracle about that snack part.)

Perfect!

He seems to be at peace here don’t you think???

And I find that I am at peace too.

A deep abiding peace that will comfort me every time I step in here to… to… well…to “pay my respects to the Oracle.”

Which is a actually a euphemism for… for…

Okay then…

goodbye.

Comments

  • MUD:

    So Steve is hung huh? Will he be impressed with his seat over the throne? At least that’s the one room where most people know what they are doing. I love bathroom humor.MUD

  • noble pig:

    Ha! Oh this is soooooo the place, so perfect and stinky, I MEAN sneaky yeah, sneaky.

  • renovationtherapy:

    OMG. Too funny. I sure hope the Oracle has a good sense of humor!Can you put a little shelf under the picture where you can place offerings? Yanno, like coins, bits of hair, little Debbie snack cakes, etc. –Jean/Upstate/Renovation Therapy…

  • Anonymous:

    Is he slightly …..off-center…hhhmmmm

  • Alisa:

    Goodness, as Oracle-ish as he looks there, I’m not sure I’d be able to do my duty with him staring at me like that. I’m glad I’m not a guy. I can’t imagine staring him in the face. Although, it would be a good time to consult The Oracle I suppose?If I ever have to make a potty stop at your house can I use the other bathroom?As always, you crack me up.

  • Jenni:

    Hilarious! I don’t think I could use that toilet with him watching me though.

  • Maria:

    Okay, it’s like this: I can think of about 20 relatives who should really have their place of honor above my toilet. TWENTY. Let the word go forth, that the craze for putting family photos in the bathroom that you WILL see in all fancy home decor magazines was started RIGHT HERE.My dear artist friend has a picture of me above her toilet. I feel very, very awkward when using that rest room. May The Oracle know that same awkwardness.

  • April:

    So, now when I use that bathroom steve will be looking down on me. I think I’ll start using the upstairs bathroom.

  • Mary:

    Hysterical as always. thanks for the giggle.xoxo,Mary

  • Coffee Bean:

    I kid you NOT, as I started reading I thought, “I am going to tell Rechelle to hang it above the toilet.” This. THIS. This must be exactly why I like your blog so much.You are a loon. See, I would joke about hanging it above the toilet but not actually do it. YOU DID IT.You are great.

  • Karen Deborah:

    uh uh you di’nt,,,,hee hee ha ha, hoo hoo, hilarious. WHOOO painted that? You kill me, you are so my kinda girl. I hope your husband knows what he’s got. Why don’t you put the shelf up with some Lil Smokies? Or Snausages,…

  • ruchi:

    You are too funny. But I am a little shocked that you did not consult the oracle as to where was best to hang the oracle.

  • Nicola:

    Perfect! I love this idea. I still wish I could get a print of this picture, then I could hang it over MY toilet too. Imagine, people around the world being too intimidated by The Oracle’s stare to ‘let go’. Brilliant.

  • Chile:

    Coffee Bean, I was right there with you. “The bathroom,” I was whispering, “the bathroom!” heheMaybe I shouldn’t laugh. One of my original mosaics is above one toilet and one of my sweetie’s original oil paintings above the other. Rechelle, what was the Country Doctor’s reaction?

  • Egghead:

    The Oracle is gonna love you so much! ha ha this makes me laugh.

  • Robbyn:

    LOL…the oracle’s looking a little flushed…

  • Rechelle:

    FLUSHED!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha harharharharharhar