Another Riveting Episode of Paying Bills with the Country Doctor’s Wife

April 4th, 2008

Time to pay the water bill again!

And this time I was ready for the challenge!
Until  I looked outside and it was nothing but rain, rain, and more rain.

You know what that means don’t you?
I am once again going to disappoint and enrage the local rural water district red- ink- pen- gone – wild- lady with my unwillingness to hike out to my water meter, yank off the heavy metal lid, wrestle out the spider encrusted insulator and fail to understand what all those numbers mean and how I am supposed to write them down.
So I set aside the water bill until one of my boys was around… so I could send HIM out in the rain and  I moved on to the cell phone bill…

Which is a whole OTHER tragedy.
Because I lost the envelope that goes with the cell phone bill.  Which means I was going to have to HAND-WRITE the address for the cell phone company which was going to take FOREVER and require more concentration and attention to detail than I have ever been capable of handling.
To avoid having to HAND WRITE the cell phone company’s address, I found an old envelope with a hole in approximately the right place, but not quite.
See – the address is too far down…  So I worked another one of my crafty miracles, and I taped the bill in place so it wouldn’t slip past the window.

Then I got to thinking about how the person opening this envelope might get a tad irritated that the bill is taped in place, and hard to remove, so I decided to try and make that person feel better about it…

But then I thought that maybe…just maybe… the smiley face might further enrage the person opening the envelope, and struggling to remove it, so I decided  I would cheer him/her up with  a pretty flower stamp which I only give to the most deserving of bill recipients.

But all I had left were…

Ugly liberty bells.

Never Fear – I  found a way to make it better!

Surely now the envelope-opener person will know I meant no harm.

They will also have other thoughts about me too.

But let’s not think about that.


  • Susiewearsthepants:

    LOL, this post cracked me up!

  • Stephanie:

    Loved the envelope…Your bill comes to my neck of the woods…I live in Springfield KY…small world…

  • HW:

    Of course this was SOOO much easier than writing the address.I almost spit yogurt out my nose…

  • Cynthia:

    Okay, I am afraid you are doing something that my mother does. I’m sorry I had to say that.You are paying bills. With paper and stamps and having to use your brain. Yes, it is too hard. Automatic payments right from your account!!!! I have not paid a bill in years. Which means I have not paid a late fee in years! Life is good.

  • Anonymous:

    have you ever heard of paying online???Think about it then next time you are watching the ceiling fan.

  • Amelia:

    Probably this envelope was opened by a machine…lots of large companies use them instead of an employee.

  • Gettysburg Mom:

    Didn’t you JUST pay the water bill? Do they make you hike out there once a month? Is there some protection from this kind of treatment under the Bill of Rights? Is it covered under the guidelines of cruel and unusual punishment? The water company certainly deserves whatever numbers you make up- toss in a few letters to really confuse them…

  • Coffee Bean:

    You totally crack me up!

  • PAT:

    Thanks again for lighting up my day, Rechelle!!Pat

  • Rechelle:

    Oh C’MOM! Whatever happened to good old fashioned bill paying!!! Where’s the suspicion… the paranoia??? Aren’t you worried the computers will take over the world! This is certainly a startling lack of worry from a group of people who in general are terrified of putting their kids real names on the internet! I put my paranoia where it belongs – in my bank account!:) And that was my first typing smiley face ever. Next time I will do one of those winking kind.

  • Lori Shaffer:

    Grant and Eric. Online bill-pay.Do not fear….

  • Coffee Bean:

    LOL! I do not put my kids names on my blog and we do use bill pay. However, we have had a few problems with it at times. Like… them not sending the payment as scheduled one time.So, I wanna know, will I get smiley stick figures on my envelope when you send me your rockin’ CD??? If you’ve already sent it and you didn’t… I might be offended. I might be so offended as to take a picture of my smiley faced stick figured less envelope and post it on my blog.

  • Julianne:

    Mental note: do not even consider moving to the country. There’s no way I could handle that water bill.And I must agree with Cynthia. Hello! Internet Banking! I know it’s new fangled and all but it sure is nice!

  • noble pig:

    OMG, I am laughing so hard becuase this is the kind of crap I do to entertain myself as well. Love, love the faces, made my husband read this as well. You just crack me up!

  • Karen Deborah:

    You are hilarious and cute! Your sister Lirpa is jealous. she left me a comment that said,”Enought of TCDW already!” Nah I havne’t had enough. You totally won me over playin a gig in your robe and slippers, my kinda girl. We have those cranky water bill folks here too and they don’t play; they will shut your water off.I hope the person who opens your bill will laugh as much as I did. Whadda about the bill that was posed to go in the envelope you used? hhaaa haa hheee hee

  • Karen Deborah:

    ps I’m with you I don’t want nobody having free access to my checking account, I pay bills with paper too.What if they take the wrong amount or too much or do it twice? Yep good thing to be paranoid about. DITTO humm the kids names, will stick with Piglet and Tigger.

  • Nan:

    Well, we know it’s not that you are not computer savvy as to why you don’t use on line banking…. since you are so clever and can create, and upkeep a blog… but, I’m with you ;) [hee hee, I use those smiley faces too often some times] if my husband didn’t do it all on line, I would do it all the old way, the few bills I do pay, I write a check, though I have never added the art work you so generously provide, one of these days one of these there envelopes might be worth a fortune once you get famous don’t `cha know? What with that singing career just budding, one day it will be in full bloom and everyone will be wanting one of your special envelopes with art work applied!!

  • alwayssomethin:

    Can’t stop laughing. My husband won’t get direct deposit. Needs to make sure the money is really there.

  • Crunchy Chicken:

    You have to check your own water meter? Man, I must be spoiled or something, but I guess it makes sense when one lives out in sticksville.We pay bills online, but you can’t do it with everything. So, for the ones I don’t pay online, I do the same trick as you. Except, I use some other leftover envelope from a bill I paid online and write all over the outside since they don’t match up to the window. I guess I’m not too crazy since at least I don’t draw little people on it.

  • Searching4Angels:

    I live not far from you either……unless you’re walking….then it’s REALLY far.

  • The Farm House Kids:

    Rechelle,I take the proper way out … I am not about to lower myself to hand write a return envelope because someone failed to send me one.I cut out the return address on the envelope they mailed it in to me and tape it on my envelope. I make sure I tape it on all four sides too. Sometimes I use pretty scrapbooking scissors, depending on how motivated I am that day!Do you think they think I’m cheap? Ha ~I love your smiley face idea too! It adds a personal touch!Tanya