The Grass is Always Blah, Blah, Blah

March 3rd, 2008


Is there a way to make a post on grass interesting? Because that is how I have been occupying myself these last few weeks. Growing grass. An acre of it. All around the house and the barn. And I’ll be darned if it ain’t coming up! All over the place! I feel like a freakin’ farmer!

I can’t take credit for all of it. The Country Doctor planted it and spread the fertilizer. He also did all the worrying. He knew that watering was going to be my job… and well, I don’t think he had much faith in me. But if there is one thing I can do, it is move hoses.

Some kids grow up raising pigs and cows, some kids grow up memorizing bus and subway routes, and some kids move hoses. I moved hoses… trying to keep trees and grass alive on the barren windswept high plains.

You may wonder why we did not install an underground sprinkler system. Uh yeah…uh …er…um…that would be because the because the budget for this house is busted. Wayyyyy busted. Busted on things like um electric wiring and um stone, and uh treads and risers for the uh staircase not to mention a last minute loft.

Besides, what else have I got to do? Moving the hoses has given my life meaning and purpose. Since my youngest has gone off and betrayed his mother by going to kindergarten, at least I have something to do to keep my mind off how much I miss him. And look – we have grass – everywhere! And it keeps coming up – more and more everyday!

All my shoes are muddy from moving sprinklers and hoses around on muddy ground. I had to run an errand a few days ago and could not find a single pair of shoes that were not caked with hardened clay. I saw my twelve year old son’s tennis shoes and slipped them on. They fit perfectly. Great! My baby is in kindergarten and my oldest son is so big now that we wear the same size of shoes! What is going to happen next? Are the two middle boys going to run off and join the merchant marines?

I bought the last two tractor sprinklers on the shelves at our local hardware store. One is a John Deere and One is an Ace True Value. The John Deere was ten bucks more than the Ace. Can you guess which one works about a jillion times better?