Halfway House

February 29th, 2008

We seem to be stuck in this strange in between place. A half finished house. A house with three almost, but not quite, finished rooms. All bedrooms.

A house where the end seems to be in site and yet is not arriving.

I have unpacked everything I can and there are still boxes everywhere full of things I can’t unpack because there is no place to put things. No cabinets, no closets, no pantry, no shelves. It is deflating. For three weeks there was so much hub bub. So many spasmodical spasms. Painting and packing and cleaning, and moving, and now there is just wait. Wait wait wait wait. It has made me question the entire project. Why did we do this? Why didn’t we just stay in our old house?

I have started to wonder if we could sell this house. Maybe we should buy a house in town. There are a few really neat old houses in town for sale. Houses I would have loved to buy two years ago. One of them is my favorite house in town. And it going up for auction in two weeks. I could move in and put all my stuff away immediately! I wonder if I could sell this house in two weeks?

I mean hey it is 5:20 in the morning and I have been up since 3:20 am. I can’t sleep. Surely there is a name for this disorder. Post traumatic construction spastic little miss whiney whine whine seizure disorder.

I just want to make some curtains! And buy a new bedside lamp! I just want to hang some pictures and figure out how to solve the troubling hall paint color.


But I am stuck in this weird purgatory of stuckness. I can not proceed until others proceed. So I linger. Every day fading a little more. Everyday dying a little more. Every day a little less untill…until…untill… Does untill have one “l’s” or two?

P.S. please do not try to cheer me up you all too chipper blog readers of the universe. I am happy in my bleakness. I prefer it this way. Bleak is my favorite color. Maybe I should re-paint the hallway in bleak.

A switch from boring to bleak.

I would much rather be bleak than boring.

PPSS

After writing the above post – I wearily climbed the stairs around 6 am to try and go back to sleep for a few hours. It was then I noticed this strange reddish haze coming thru the windows. What in the world…? Aliens? Terrorist attack? Pesticide? Fungicide? Armageddon???

Holy Crap – Sunrise!!! I haven’t seen one of these in years. Gosh maybe we should hang around a while. It might be worth the trouble.