Private Parts or Tats on My Stats

November 16th, 2007

Did I seriously just name this post – “Private Parts” – good grief what the heck is going to show up in my keyword search now!?! Speaking of keyword searches, I have had a few e-mails and comments regarding the ad I placed on Pioneer Woman or “Pie Near Woman” as I like to call her. So I am going to show you all something that no one has EVER seen! A part of myself that should be kept under wraps at all times. Trust me – only the stoutest of souls can face this particular jiggly mass. Cover the eyes of your young’uns. Grab a flashlight and drape a cloth over your head and the computer before you scroll down. I am going to show you something that no eyes other than mine, have ever seen…

My blog stats.

This is the what my stat counter typically looked like on the days prior to placing the ad on Pie Near Woman. She was a pretty girl, properly buttoned up, with a cardigan tossed around her shoulders and a matching handbag, but she didn’t exactly stand out you know what I mean??? She lacked that special spark. The pageant committee was not impressed.
Oct 15-Oct 31.
Avg Pageloads – 321
Avg Unique Visitors – 188
Avg returning visitors – 79

The spikes at 523 and 724 page loads are from the days that “Miz Booshay” put a story and a link from her site to mine. Thanks Donna! As a result of that link – my overall traffic took a jump. And my stat counter unbuttoned one button at the top of her blouse and took the pin out of her bun and let her hair swing down all wild and carefree. Ah…much better.

This is the day before and the first day of – the ad on “Pie Near Woman”.

On this day, my stat counter didn’t just unbutton the top button on her blouse. SHE TOOK HER BLOUSE OFF and ran around in a lacy black bustier the rest of the day!!! Who knew?!?!?

While my stat counter was er uh changing her look, I happened to walk by my computer and I noticed that it was actually sweating! The Internet space around my desk was all shimmery and full of sparkles. When I stuck my hand into this sparkly space it disappeared! I almost called the Pope! I almost called Phillip Pullman! If I wasn’t such a pantywaist, I think I could have stepped right into a different dimension. But I stayed here folks. Besides, I wanted to see what would happen next!

Here is the entire seven days on which the “Pie Near Woman” ad was up, including two days prior to the ad, to establish a norm. The last three days were a doozy with over 1300 page loads a day. Both me and my computer were drenched in sweat and all melty from exhaustion from trying to keep my stat counter from running off with Ray Bob Butterbuns, a local yokel who trades in knives down at the local flea mart. I am not EVEN going to tell you what she was wearing at this point. It was so brief and appalling that some of you would faint dead away… and others of you would want to know where she got it – and I don’t want to contribute to the delinquency of any more stat counters.

I eventually did get her to put on something more appropriate. She threw a huge fit when I said NO! to the rhinestone tiara and the matching spiked heels. Right now she is resting – mildly sedated – in a pair of tight jeans and a tube top. Hey I gotta pick my battles! She is also sporting some new tats and she’s got a gold loop in her belly button! She really thinks she is all that and I don’t know how to settle her down, but I am trying. I swear to God – I’ve got a nice cardigan and a pleated plaid skirt laying out for her, but she refuses to put it on!

Here are my stats from the last day of the ad to Wednesday Nov. 15th.

Avg page loads – 542
Avg unique visitors – 355
Avg returning visitors – 189

So there has been a few changes around here. I’ve got a tats on my stats! Welcome to all the new readers and thanks for stopping by!

If anyone is considering buying an ad on “Pioneer Woman”, I would have to recommend it. I may buy another one here in the near future, but first I have to wrestle the scarlet hair dye away from my stat counter! Wish me luck!

PS – It occurred to me after I got the red hair dye away from my stat counter and the Country Doctor came home and gave her a shot of Haldol “stat”…get it “stat” ha ha ha! Anyway – it occurred to me that many of you may wonder why in the world I would buy an ad on “Pie Near Woman” in the first place. What is wrong with her and who in tarnation does she think she is and what is up with her??? I wish I could fully explain it myself. Perhaps it is I who need the Haldol “stat” hardee hardee har har. All I know is that blogging fits me like a glove. I have never had so much fun in my life. I love to write and I especially love to write absurd, bizarre things about me, me, more me and a spriglet of me. I figure if I can get enough readers to stop by on a somewhat regular basis, maybe I can justify the ridiculous amount of time I spend on this thing, by making a little cashola. I am not just some attention seeking weirdo – okay I am an attention seeking weirdo, but I am an attention seeking weirdo that is having a really really good time on this blog. In fact, according to my conservative, protestant, Western Kansas upbringing, I have officially crossed over into the realms of heathen fun-having. I promise to repent. Right after my stat counter reaches uh…uh…ONE…MILLION. Until then – I got some bloggin’ to do.

Comments

  • Cynthia:

    Oooh… I am so tempted, but I all about modesty. Could I handle a renegade stat counter?

  • Cynthia:

    Oops, I meant I am all about modesty. English really is my first language.

  • Jenni:

    I just checked my stat counter. I have a high of 78 unique visitors for this week and a low of (gulp) 39. I’m considering throwing myself off of one of your 1,000 plus visitor peaks, but I’d settle for one of the lower before-ad average. No, really, I’m cool with it. I just am not nearly as funny as you gals. At least I have my daily fix of your blogs. Maybe you’ll eventually rub off on me:o)

  • Crunchy Chicken:

    I do believe that is cheating :)

  • Rechelle:

    Cheating??? Holly Crap Balls! – send me the rules Crunchy – I hereby vow to break all of them.

  • Renovation Therapy:

    I think I need a cigarette.

  • Crunchy Chicken:

    Well, you’ve ventured into a little light porn in this post so you can cross that off the list.Next up, I suspect, will be grainy full frontals of the Country Doctor. Then you’ll probably see the stats dip from your regular readers. But, you might get a whole new group of readers. Perhaps not the kind you want though so I would stay away from that one.You do know that I’m joking and I much prefer your blog over PWs. I actually don’t even read hers anymore because I’m so busy reading you and yer crazy sister.

  • Frankie:

    You know, your stats may be higher than what your site meter shows. I read through Bloglines. Your entire post comes up, although sometimes the photos don’t. So I read whenever you post, but I don’t necessarily come to your blog. If you want more hits on your blog, you should change your preferences to allow only the short blurbs to the RSS feeds forcing those of us who are lazy to click our way here.Or not. Ree doesn’t do that. And I’m so thrilled I found your blog before you advertised on Ree’s. I am ahead of the game. lol

  • Melissa:

    I think you were a genius to place an ad!!! If you do it again, I look forward to the results!

  • Mom2BJM(Amy):

    Not sure if I came to your blog because of your AD at Pie Near Woman, but I did come there from here! And, you crack me up. Thank you for sharing your life with us.. makes mine seem very uninteresting..Great.. :-)

  • Pamela-Atl.:

    I’m so glad you advertised on PW’s site. Read your blog the first day and have been hooked ever since. Keep up the good work.

  • Anonymous:

    I’ve been “lurking” for awhile now and can say that I do enjoy your site as much as the Pie Near Woman. Actually, I read nearly 20 blogs each day and usually check yours first. I should get out more.RosieJo

  • Karen:

    I’m glad you put an ad on PW’s blog because that’s how I found you and I enjoy reading every day!Karen in DE

  • wildblue:

    I found your site from pie near woman, book marked it, and now come by every day. btw- thanks for the resturant ideas in your area, told my son about them and one of them he said, “oh yeah! I’ve eaten there, it’s the best!” So thanks again.

  • Pamelotta:

    What a strange and wonderful world we live in. I feel like my grandma trying to follow a conversation about Tivo. Who knew you could make cash talking about your life without even having a publisher?!? I found you through PW and finally delurked to weigh in on you and April’s latest conflict. I feel like one of those people who jumps off of a ship when it gets so full it’s uncomfortable. Yours came along just as I was starting to jump. It’s been a great place to land!

  • lori shaffer:

    Well, first of all…congratulations!Does it benefit you in some way (other than ego-building) to place an ad on PW? Are you hoping to make a business of this thing? And by the way, I found her THROUGH YOU!! So maybe SHE should pay YOU some royalties! I don’t even know how to track these things! I have a basic blog counter, but don’t know how to find unique visitors and all that… Can you direct me to instructions on how to do it?

  • Rechelle:

    hmmm – Lori, The stat counter I got my results from is called “stat counter” – if you click on mine it will take you to their site and probably give you instructions on how to install one on your blog. April set my blog up for me. Are you on blogger? I think a stat counter is one of the options when you set up your blog, then you configure it how you want. If you already have “stat counter” click on the summary icon – looks like a bar graph chart and go to the bottom of that page it should tell you how many of each kind of visitor you have had, what they were wearing when they were n your site and if they were drinking decaf or regular.

  • Mama Chanoli:

    I’m glad you placed the ad – that’s how I found you! And you are but, well, one that makes me laugh out loud. Keep up the good work! Although when you get too big and have to quit responding to comments ’cause there’s just so many then I will be sad….

  • Crunchy Chicken:

    Hmmm. Maybe I need to take an ad out on The Country Doctor’s Wife…

  • Coffee Bean:

    I found you through that PW add. I had only been reading her blog a short time and thought she put it there because she liked your blog. I LOVE your blog and have actually started checking it before I check PW’s. You and your sister are a hoot. This is the one week anniversay of my blog (what a dork). I actually created it back in April and then did nothing with it. I added a stat counter a couple days ago to see if there were more than ten people looking at it. I was pretty excited last night to see that I had 111 hits yesterday. I am home alone during the day and it has been fun getting the blog set up, reading other blogs, and thinking about stuff to write on my blog. I kind of feel like a kid passing notes in class throughout the day. I do need to go do some laundry though.By the way, your blog has a high school reading level and April’s has a Jr. High level. I was quite upset to learn mine is Elementary School level. I checked PW’s and hers is Elementary too. If you read my post on I’s juss not smart there is a link to my friend’s blog that has the link to the thingy that you use to determine what your blog’s reading level is. She posted it like a badge of honor because her is post grad. Snob.

  • Natalie:

    I use sitemeter.com and I eagerly await my weekly stat report that they send to me each Friday morning. I so eagerly await it that I check the stats every evening before I post for the day.I’ve noticed that Boo Mama ( http://www.boomama.net )has driven up her stats since she started doing give-aways. She’s gone from about 30 comments per post up to over 400 on contest posts. You have to figure that some of those people stick around.

  • Donna Boucher:

    Thanks for the thanks :o)I love seeing how your experiment fared! I was curious but too polite to ask :o)I have hovered around 300 unique and 500 pageloads a day for about a year….but I am happy there….I love the lovely people who come by and comment on my blog.While I’d like the revenue that a big time blog like PW or Dooce would bring, the close knit group of people who frequent Quiet Life is enough for me :o)I miss Ree’s presence in her comments. But that’s not her style. She really rocks every thing she touches!So when you get big and fancy like Ree….promise not to go awol on us :o)I like the conversation.

  • Rechelle:

    I like the conversation too. It’s half the fun.

  • Sally:

    HAHAHA Rechelle – you really are unique! Keep up the good work. :)

  • Junebug:

    I think I found you from Donna’s site and then I did see the ad at PW’s. I find you every bit as interesting as PW and you are able to have conversations still. I find a lot of hits on my site from PW’s when I make a comment on her site. I saw her and MM at PF Chang’s a few weeks ago. But I wasn’t all papparatzi on them. I waited until I got in the car to mention it to my husband. Very cool, calm, and collected I am. :D

  • The Farm House Kids:

    Rechelle,I thought you were joking about the ad, then I saw it there.I thought, “well, she is a spunky chick” … oh, and I read you too.Tanya

  • smiledarlin:

    I just got my PC up and running again and found PW’s site and followed your ad to you!Just another pathetic sheep following the herd…. but laughing all the way! At both of y’alls blogs.I have quilting friends of mine that blog and want me to start one…. still considering it….Till then, I am a loyal reader!

  • lsaspacey:

    I love that reading level thing. Of my two blogs, I have High School and Elementary reading levels. But how funny that Dooce.com has a Junior High level. Of course I had to check! Somehow, I think she would find that hilarious.

  • lsaspacey:

    I don’t know why it wouldn’t work? Again, the Blog Reading Level Analyzer: http://www.criticsrant.com/bb/reading_level.aspx

  • Staci at Writing and Living:

    I thought your idea put an ad on Pioneer Woman was nothing short of inspired. I said at the time that I might put an ad on *your* blog, and I was only half joking.I found you through Donna’s site, by the way.BUT, Donna found Pioneer Woman through me, thankyouverymuch.

  • Sandy in MI:

    I found you through Pioneer Woman and try to visit every day now. I’m really enjoying your blog, so I think advertising there was a great idea!

  • Donna Boucher:

    Yes. Props to you, Staci at Writing and Living for making Ree’s Chocolate Cake and posting a picture and a link to Ree’s.I thank you, yes, I do.I found funny Rechelle from one of her comments at Ree’s.Links rock!!!