Poptart Makes Everything More Tolerable.

September 17th, 2007

The country doctor and I found ourselves in the rare predicament of being without children on a Saturday night. My sister, April drove over from her new house and picked up a bunch of crap she had stored in our barn and while she was being very bossy about how to pack her stuff in the back of her van, the country doctor and I were shoving our kids under the seats in the front of her van. Boy was she surprised when they popped out when she got back home!

The two of us had a nice evening out and finally got to see the The Bourne Ultimatum, which I loved. The next afternoon – after putting it off as long as we possibly could, by planting some grass, and unpacking a thousand boxes of damp mildewy books into the new library, we headed to April’s new farmhouse to collect our children.

The country doctor asked me to drive. Normally – I try very hard to be disagreeable to everything the man says, but since I felt kind of sorry for him for planting all that grass, I took the wheel.

When I set out on a drive, I must have food and drink close at hand. The country doctor does not share this need. He does not want to stop until he arrives at his destination. Plus – the mere idea of making a PURCHASE of any type of NON ESSENTIAL ITEM causes the man to seize up and percoadjulate wildly. One of us is always being made miserable by the other’s traveling preferences. However, I was in a rare mood of compassion for the poor man, and decided that I could travel without my beverage and food needs being cared for.

We got about 10 miles down the road and I started to get really, really sleepy. We were listening to Trail Mix, a folk music show, and the sappy lyrics combined with the melodramatic guitar playing was putting me into a stupor.

I knew I was going to need some coffee – but I also knew that stopping to get a drink would put the country doctor into a state of hydraulic paralysis. So I went another ten miles, passing a few good stops, holding my eyes open really big as if I was in a state of supreme shock. Woozy…wooozy…wooz…ier… Finally I just thought – this is ridiculous! I need a cup of coffee – I am going to get a cup of coffee. I stopped at the next gas station and got a cup of coffee…and um…er…a strawberry poptart to go with it.

When I got back in the car – the country doctor had switched the radio to a K.C.Chiefs football game. He was also reading the Sunday paper.

He had, of course refused to get anything to drink or eat for himself. I looked at him and said, “It’s a bit much don’t you think?”

“What is?” he replied

“You – sitting there with the paper, listening to the Chiefs – AND depriving yourself of food and drink all at the same time – isn’t that a bit too much pleasure for you to stand?”

“I know,” he said “It’s awesome, but I feel terrible about it!”

“Which is basically Nirvana for you. To feel good… and bad about feeling good at the same time.”

“Yes, exactly” he replied.


  • Renovation Therapy:

    Inappropriate Comment. Country Doctor is hardcore cute. You can keep him though, my Fiance spent ALL DAY Saturday driving me from store to shop to store to boutique to shop. The Fiance has some good perks. PopTarts – I can’t come within 20 feet of a box of “Brown Sugar” Pop Tarts. I will eat the entire box.

  • April:

    BARF! Pop Tarts are one nasty sugary snack that I won’t eat…now or ever….even when I’m buying the grossest snacks ever made for man to eat during my crazy-need-to-have-nasty-sugary-snack time of the month.BTW you look extremely happy and rested in those pictures, amazing what a day without your boys can do to your complextion.

  • Mary:

    What is it about men and stopping for necessities along the road?! My husband even tries not to stop to pee. I think this comes from his yearly trips to the Jersey shore when his parents would make the boys pee into a soda bottle to make better time…honestly, sometimes I wonder how he turned out so normal!Mary

  • Donna Boucher:

    Hey. You should take all your pictures in the car. Nice lighting :o)Oh! my husband and I are ridiculous in the car. We can barely get out of the driveway without someone getting huffy.I get the not ever wanting to stop. No way. No how.But guess what.My bladder can go 13 hours without a stop anymore.Boy does my husband give me heck when I have to stop in one hour.

  • dynochick (Jan):

    Hey….I thought I was the only one who traveled with a tape measure in their cup holder!!!!Also, have you ever noticed that when you even start to look at something, they (meaning MEN) speed up the car? Then they tell you that there is no where to turn around. But when they want to stop….they just stop. Once a year I have a urge for a poptart…not toasted. Brown sugar is my fave. I believe I’m not due to have that urge until March of ’08.

  • chocolatechic:

    Poptarts~~the fudge ones do it for me. Kind of like a little brownie for breakfast. It has been since 2003 since I have eaten a poptart.I refuse to ride with my husband anymore……

  • Rechelle:

    Hey Dynochick – I took the first picture without the tape measure – but then I took a second one with the tape measure to cover up the disgusting amount of car goo inside that cup holder. I just didn’t want anyone else to see it!

  • dynochick (Jan):

    I have the same goo. Once it’s there, it’s nearly impossible to clean without breaking a nail. I have a folded up napkin in the bottom of my cup holder. Hides the goo and absorbs the moisture. Car companies really should look into designing removable cup holders that are dishwasher safe. Perefect reason why they need more female car designers.

  • Jaime:

    First… when will my purse be arriving?Second… iloveupstate.com thinks the CD is cute…the Swedish Doc and I blew glog out our noses when we read that-lol (the Swedish Doc is just jealous).Third…that crap in the styrofoam cup is NOT coffee.

  • Renovation Therapy:

    Hey – I had a Swedish Doc once. In the ER. He kept yelling at me that the reason I had a bladder infection was from “too muchz of zee zinterkurse” in front of my Mom who had brought me to the ER(it was just a few years ago, she knows I’m a tainted lady). I kept laughing and making him mad, I couldn’t help but think about the Swedish checon the Muppet Show. LOL

  • Renovation Therapy:

    checon = chef ON. Oy, I can’t type.

  • Chile:

    Oh my. At first glance, I thought the title was “Portapot Makes Everything More Tolerable” I was going to agree heartily. :)

  • Rechelle:

    Ah Yes, the good old portapot does make life more tolerable don’t it? I don’t know how I would survive without mine!

  • Ann:

    I can’t decide which is moreYUM-O, your husband or the idea of a half-toasted chocolate pop-tart!