Browsing Archives for May 2007


Last Summer we drove to a huge pond owned by one of the Country Doctor’s nurses and located about 40 miles north of us to do some fishing. We had to climb the backside of a big dam to reach the pond which was out in the middle of a pasture. We hauled all our gear, lawn chairs and a cooler full of twizzlers, Cheetos and sandwiches up that dam. Once we got up the dam, we decided we were in a bad spot and had to move all our stuff to the other side of the pond. Finally situated, the family settled in for a little fishing.

It was an idyllic day, warm, sunny, with a light breeze, and the fish were biting. We caught fish for hours. Everybody caught fish. Jack caught fish, Drew caught fish, Ethan caught fish, Cal caught fish, etc…etc… The Country Doctor strung our catch on a long stringer in the water where the fish continued to twitch around. After several blissful hours, we reached the end of the Cheetos and the twizzlers and it was time to go.

The reason we caught all those fish was in the hopes of transporting them back to our pond, thus stocking our pond for free. You see, our pond is not original. Sorry to disappoint the purists.

Our pond started out as a small silt pond for the neighbors pond. I don’t know much about pond technology, but evidently a silt pond captures the mud and debris keeping the larger pond clear and clean. But who wants a silt pond? I wanted a pond pond. So we drained the silt pond, dug a much bigger hole, raised the dam and Wa La – Pond Pond.

Which is why, on this beautiful, blue sky day we are carefully trying to put a massive stringer of twitching fish into a large purple plastic tub and then trying to haul it up a huge dam to our car, which was impossible. Eventually the Country Doctor found an old bucket and started bringing buckets of fish over the dam, dumping them into the purple tub and trotting back over the dam for another bucketful.

Then we drove 40 miles back to our pond. The water in the toy box sloshed badly so we put the lid on the box. It was dark by the time we pulled up to our own pond. We backed down to the shore and started to unload the fish. They weren’t in very good shape. The Country Doctor sort of tried to run the fish through the water to fill their gills and encourage to swim. It was dark. We were tired. We dumped the rest of the fish in the pond and left

The next day, we drove out to have a look and it was quite a sight. The surface of our pond was covered in floating fish. Their white bellies drifting slowly towards the dam and the shore. It looked like Fish Armageddon. Like something out of the book of Exodus. We felt like the Egyptians after the plagues. Watching our big bountiful catch floating belly up on the blue waters of the Nile… I mean our pond.

Later that day, the Country Doctor skimmed all of those dead fish out of our pond and threw them into the trees.

Tomorrow, we are going to stock the pond for NOT free. A big truck is going to pull up to our pond and dump a bunch of healthy fish in it. Hope to get some good pics for ya.

The final chapter in the thrilling family saga of one desperate woman, her swarming brood of boys, a Country Doctor and a Pond.

Last night a few hours after we carefully released about 800 baby fish into our new pond, it started to rain. It rained and rained and rained. And then about 9:00 pm it turned from rain to deluge. It deluged and deluged and deluged.

See these pipes…

When these pipes get partially submerged like they are now, water pours out of our pond through these pipes to the backside of our dam…

…and down these beautiful scrap rock falls. I decided to name these falls – “Free Fish Falls” today.

Because this is probably where all of our precious baby fish went after the deluge. They poured through the pipes, down “Free Fish Falls” and then into the swamp which today I named “Liberty Fish Swamp”.

Then the baby fish slowly find their way to the neighbor’s pond – which I hereby christen “Something For Nothing Pond”.

All of our little fishies are probably happily swimming around in “Something For Nothing Pond.” The stinking little traitors!

The final chapter in the thrilling family saga of one desperate woman, her swarming brood of boys, a Country Doctor and a Pond.

Last night a few hours after we carefully released about 800 baby fish into our new pond, it started to rain. It rained and rained and rained. And then about 9:00 pm it turned from rain to deluge. It deluged and deluged and deluged.

See these pipes…

When these pipes get partially submerged like they are now, water pours out of our pond through these pipes to the backside of our dam…

…and down these beautiful scrap rock falls. I decided to name these falls – “Free Fish Falls” today.

Because this is probably where all of our precious baby fish went after the deluge. They poured through the pipes, down “Free Fish Falls” and then into the swamp which today I named “Liberty Fish Swamp”.

Then the baby fish slowly find their way to the neighbor’s pond – which I hereby christen “Something For Nothing Pond”.

All of our little fishies are probably happily swimming around in “Something For Nothing Pond.” The stinking little traitors!

Pioneer Woman Exists?

May 21st, 2007

I am trying to decide if Pioneer Woman is real or not. Is it possible that this blog is manufactured to make the rest of us try harder? Have the computers taken over blogdom and created the perfect blog to try and control our minds? I know, I may sound like a paranoid schizo – but someone has to ask the hard questions. I have two critical pieces of evidence that may cause you to also have spasms of doubt about her actual existence.

1. Marlboro Man – Believe it or not Marlboro man actually lives or rather lived just up the road from me. That’s right – the real Marlboro man – the original and true Marlboro man lived out the rest of his days right here in my part of the country on a ranch outside Westmoreland. Here are some pictures of him, for those of you who have to see to believe. His name is Wayne Dunafon pictured with the black hat and the horizontal striped shirt

So clearly Pioneer woman’s “Marlboro Man” is an imposter. Do you think she knows? Should someone tell her?

2. The comments – I just cannot accept the number of comments she gets every day! I can’t wrap my pea sized brain around 89 comments – 120 comments, 1000 comments! Impossible! It is a trick. Someone is making this up. Who are these people that leave thise comments? Have you ever read them? It reminds me of one of those coaches shows after a big victory

Caller 1 – “Hey coach – great game, the team looked good,

Coach – Thanks, what is your question?

Caller – Just wanted to say great game coach – keep it up!

Coach – Thanks and now to Caller 2. Hello?

Caller 2 – Hey Coach – Great game…The team was INCREDIBLE!

Coach – Thanks, I appreciate that – do you have any questions?

Caller – 2 – You’re the greatest coach ever! Rock on dude

Coach Okay – so now lets go to caller 3

Caller 3 – Coach – YOU ROCK!!!

Coach – Wow – thanks – Question?

Caller 3 – We are going to kill everyone team in our path! Destroy them. Love the defense man. Perfect game

Coach – Yes – well we tried something new tonight…

Caller 3 – You ARE AWESOME!!!

Coach – Thanks

And so on and so forth.

I am a huge fan of her site. And I will continue to be a fan even if it turns out she doesn’t even exist.